Clexa Short Story Collection
by OffMyHead
Summary: A compilation of Clexa moments I like to think could've/should've happened.
1. Between Hakeldama and Bitter Harvest

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE 1OO.**

Note: Since the show has yet to explore the mechanics of the Conclave, The Ascension Day, and some requirements on how to be an eligible nominee of Arkadia's Chancellor, the discussion of Clarke and Lexa of these topics here in this story, may not be parallel to how the show will explain them. In this story, those parts, I based on what we know from previous episodes and a bit of my own theories about how Chancellors and Commanders are chosen.

 **BUT THIS PARTICULAR STORY BELONGS TO ME.**

Clarke is on the balcony of her own room, surveying the busy ground below her, thinking of how different the Earth has become from the bedtime stories she's been told in the Ark. The moon is high in the sky. Not so long ago she was up there with the stars, drawing pictures of what she thought the ground looked like.

Sometimes she wonders if life would be simpler if she had stayed in her cell. If the Ark did not send a hundred of their juvenile prisoners to the ground. There is a soft knock on the door but her thoughts keep her from hearing it. Pike needs to be taken down but how can she do it without Bellamy's help? She wonders how long Lexa will entertain her, how long before the Commander will come to her senses and release her army against Arkadia. Could she once again sway the Commander of the Grounders to do as she asks for the sake of Skaikru even if that meant that the Grounders would compromise their way of life? The night is long but sleep does not come easy for Clarke, not today of all days.

She turns around as another knock, more urgent, is heard. She opens the door and finds Titus. The Commander has summoned her to her chambers.

"Commander." Clarke says. Lexa only nods.

"Good evening, Ambassador. Titus insisted on discussing the events of the day." She says, her voice cold, meaning to show how she does not want to be discussing this; that only obligations have forced her to be.

Lexa sits on the patriarch seat in the living room area. She crosses her legs and Titus looks over to her. "Well, Teacher, you came here to deliver a message. Begin." She says, raising an eyebrow at him.

"A message?" Clarke asks, turning to Titus this time but not before she sees the Commander roll her eyes.

"Jus drein jus daun has always been the way of our people." Titus says. "I am afraid that changing that will not only aggravate the people but it will inevitably put the Commander in danger. I request that we come together tonight to contemplate a compromise."

Clarke knows this argument was over before it began. Lexa had already issued the order. Jus no drein jus daun is the way to peace, even Lexa has accepted that. But Titus could be right. He sees what Lexa might be overlooking.

"I know you're trying to protect the Commander." Clarke begins, strong and steady. "But Lexa is right. I understand that your people have lost a lot at the hands of mine but jus no drein just daun is the only way to peace. The only way to make sure that the death of all those people was not in vain. If you attack Arkadia, more people will die and nothing will have been solved."

Titus closes his eyes and bows. He takes a deep breath and begins to talk again. "Heda, sis au ai, sis au yu." _Commander, help me help you._

"Ai laik Heda. Disha ste ai wai. Disha ste wai gon ai kru seintaim." _I am the Commander. This is my way. So this is the way of my people as well._ Lexa stands and Titus takes a step back. "You think I am putting myself in danger of my own people. But no one will dare take a step against my own. I am a Commander who demands respect and my people do and will continue to deliver it." She says, almost growling at him. "Clarke is right. We all want peace with Skaikru. This is the way we achieve that. Titus, you may be my teacher but I am still your Commander."

"Forgive me, Commander but I cannot let this happen." Titus says, raising his face to look Lexa in the eyes. "Twelve clans against one. This is the way of our people."

"You underestimate Arkadia." Clarke speaks up, both Lexa and Titus turn to her. "We are better as an ally than an enemy."

"Is that a threat?" Lexa whispers but her voice is loud and clear.

"No." Clarke says, meeting Lexa's eyes, "It's an opportunity. My people are your people. My weapons and my skills are yours as well."

"Heda beja," _Commander please._ Lexa raises her hand and Titus stops speaking.

"Leave us." Lexa says. "I must speak with the Ambassador alone." Titus bows and leaves quietly. When he closes the door behind him, Lexa takes a seat. She seams to be deflating in the chair. Tired of the events of the day, grieving the loss of her people and fighting the urge to start a war to avenge them. She looks up at Clarke and sees her own defeat in her blue eyes. Clarke takes a step toward her and sits in the opposite chair, waiting for her to speak up.

"Titus is just being a good teacher." She begins. "It's his job to advise me."

Clarke stays quiet, watching Lexa, how her eyes are glazed with thin layer of tears. How her palms catch her forehead when she bows and heaves a sigh.

"You don't…" Clarke starts to speak but she catches her self. Lexa lifts her face from her hands and looks at her expectantly.

"I don't what?" She asks, as she wraps her arms around herself. There is a soft evening breeze whispering between them. Clarke stands and draws the curtains to keep Lexa warm. It was much colder in the Ark, it's much warmer down here. Before going back to the chairs, Clarke continues, "You don't have to be the Commander when you're alone with me."

"I always have to be the commander." Lexa whispers but just low enough for Clarke not to hear.

"Was Titus right?" Clarke continues, she takes a seat next to Lexa. She could feel warmth almost exuding from her body. "Are you in danger of your own people because you're changing tradition?"

"My people are resilient." She says, not looking at Clarke. "They can and will endure this transition."

"Did you mean to threaten us?" Lexa says when Clarke doesn't say anything, her eyes searching Clarke's for the truth. Searching whether this Ambassador can choose her Commander over her own people.

"Just Titus." Clarke confesses and Lexa smiles.

"Titus can be persistently annoying." Lexa almost laughs. "But he is often right."

"Is he right about this?" Clarke asks.

"Titus is _often_ right. Not always." She reassures her. " _You're_ right about this Clarke. But I hope you know that this is extremely difficult for me, more than it is for my people."

"The right decisions never come easy." Clarke says, feeling the ghost of the three hundred Mountain Men now more than ever. "I never meant to make you antagonize your own people."

"I know." Lexa says.

"We _will_ take Pike down." Clarke says. "We just need time. When Kane is Chancellor, Ark—"

"I don't want Kane to be the Chancellor." Lexa says, taking Clarke's hand in hers. "You could to be the Chancellor."

"Our system doesn't work that way, Lexa." Clarke shakes her head and she can see the confusion settling in Lexa. "A Chancellor must be of majority age. For me, that's not for another five years."

"Your mother then." Lexa says, letting go of her hand.

"She was Chancellor." Clarke says, "It's not a job fit for her. Lexa, you can trust Kane."

"Do you trust him?" She asks. In the Ark, she remembers her mother talking to her father about how she'd rather have Jaha replace Diana than Kane. How she'd do everything in her power to keep Kane out of the Chancellor's seat. But today, her mother gave up the pin, reserving it for Kane, thinking that he'd win, not anticipating a power like Pike's to intercept it.

"Kane is on the right side." Clarke says.

"Then Kane it shall be." Lexa sighs, laying her head in her palms again. Clarke carefully rests her hand over her back. The warmth of Lexa's skin almost shocking her. It's a cold night. Lexa can feel Clarke's cold hand over her shoulder blade. It's comforting, as though her touch takes away some of the pressure on her. She takes a deep breath, filling her lungs with the cold air of the night.

"What is majority age?" She asks.

"For our people, it's 23 years old." She says, "There weren't many children in the Ark. We wouldn't have survived."

"So in five years, you can become the Chancellor." Lexa smiles.

"If I decide to run and if I gain majority vote." Clarke says. "How are your Commanders chosen?"

"After I die, the Conclave will take place." Lexa begins. "A fight to the death of the Nightbloods. We believe that my spirit will choose the strongest and that that Nightblood will be the last one standing. He or she will be the next Commander."

"If only Nightblood children can become Commanders, why kill them when you need them most?"

"There cannot be a trained Nightblood on the Ascension day of the new Commander. It sends a bad precedent, as though the people are challenging the spirit of the previous Commander to change its decision."

"How many were at your Conclave?" She asks, thinking about how Lexa has only been Commander for a few years and that would mean that she could have been very young when this all began. It would also mean that the spirit of the previous Commander chose well. In her young age and her short reign so far, Lexa has already united the twelve clans. Her Coalition has already changed the way Grounders live. Jus no drein jus daun will be what she will be known for.

"We were nine." She says. "I'm tired, Clarke." She whispers suddenly, not wanting to talk about her Conclave. The moon has begun to sink. In a few hours it will be sunrise and she would have to wake to train the young Nightblood.

"Reshop. Heda." _Goodnight, Commander_. She hears Clarke whisper. Beside her, Clarke begins to stand but she takes her hand again. "Kamp." _Stay._ Lexa says immediately, without thinking first.

Clarke looks down at her and raises her brows and that is when Lexa knows that she's not ready. Not ready to know that after Costia, she feared she would never love again. She feared love itself and how it could destroy her as Commander. She feared all of this and yet she couldn't stop the tidal wave that her emotions have brought her since Clarke entered her tent all those months ago.

Clarke is not ready, but Lexa has no choice but to face these feelings because if she does not, she will forget what it is to be Commander: to see things for what they truly are, and choose to either, act for them, or against them. For this, acting against love is the way she was taught to lead effectively and no matter how hard that is, she can't help but love Clarke anyway. She realizes now that Titus is wrong. Love is not weakness. If not for her love for Clarke, jus no drein jus daun would never be an option for her but it was love that made her see clearly. To see that peace does not come to people who do not choose to change. But a greater realization has taken root. She loves Clarke and she believes that Clarke loves her too.

She lets go of Clarke's hand and stands.

"Reshop, Ambassador." She says instead.

"I can stay." Clarke smiles, surprising Lexa yet again. Lexa doesn't say a word, fearing that if she let herself speak, she will say something that Clarke is not ready to hear, so instead, Lexa lays down on the couch. Knowing that Clarke is near sends her to sleep fast.

Clarke quietly roams the room, blowing out candles as she goes. The room gets darker somewhat but the sun has begun to peak through the horizon. The ground below has gone silent but soon the people will be flocking back to buy food from the morning market. In one of the tables is a pile of paper and some coal. She takes a few sheets, sits by Lexa's feet, and begins to let her hands make her memory of Lexa tangible.

In the dimly lit room, Lexa's calm face almost shines.

 _In all the months since I met her, she has never been this peaceful._ Clarke thinks to herself.

She draws the gentle slope of her nose, notes how sometimes, even in her sleep, her brows furrow. Her hair is pulled back from her ears and her shoulders slowly rise and fall with every breath she takes. All these things, Clarke pays attention to, as though in a moment she could lose her chance to remember Lexa this way. It's hardest for her to replicate the perfect way Lexa's lips curve or the way it purses as she dreams. Clarke has forgotten how freeing it is to draw beautiful things again, forgotten about how back in her cell in the Ark, drawing her dreams of the ground was her only escape.

In the field, Lexa is training her young Nightbloods. They rally in partners, practicing their skills with a long sword. Once in a while Lexa would shout commands to shift hands but for now, she watches the woods behind them. In the trees, she notices a movement. Quietly, she slips out of view of the Nightbloods. She takes two guards with her to investigate. They scout the woods and as they reach a clearing, Lexa finds dozens of them.

Her Commanders.

She turns to her guard, to look for some answers as to why their dead leaders have come to her in this field and how this is all possible but the guards have disappeared and so have the Nightbloods. She faces the commanders again and they surround her.

They vary in ages, some are old but most are young, not much older than she is now, a small handful are even younger. They circle around her, not saying a word, just staring. Lexa falls to her knees in respect and waits for their message but one by one, the Commanders begin to die. They fall to their own knees and look as though the air from their body is being sucked out of them. Others fall with more gore, nightblood spraying out of their bodies where nothing but the air has touched it. They scream and they try to stop the bleeding but they die anyway. Most of them fall and they try to rise again, they fight against the pain of their wounds but they must die. The must die because Lexa is already among them. The last Commander to fall is the one nearest to her. She watches the Commander bleed as he falls to the ground and cough out dark blood from his lips and he struggles, as though he is trying to say something. So Lexa crawls to him.

"Heda." She says, resting his head on her lap.

"Ai gonplei ste odon." He says, looking at her, "Yu gonplei ste nou odon." In an instant he is gone. She looks around her, the field is cluttered with the bodies of the Commanders she feels she has failed. She looks to her own hands and see the darkness of their blood caked under her nails and trailing down her wrists.

"Did I do this?" She whispers to the empty woods. "Did I let them die in vain?"

In the distance she hears the drums of war sounding, hear her people prepare for war as an individual commands, _"Capture the assassin!"_ She wonders then why someone else commands her army.

She wakes suddenly and struggles for breath. She finds Clarke next to her, "Hey, hey, it's okay." She hears her say, "You're okay." But Lexa could still feel the last Commander's head on her lap, dying as he warned her that her fight is not yet over. It dawns on her that the one who cried for the capture of an assassin would not be followed if he weren't the Commander. But how can there be another Commander other than her? Was she also dying in the woods?

"The Commanders before me." She says in between breaths, "They speak to me in my sleep. I saw their deaths. A war. At the hands of an assassin."

"It was just a dream." Clarke replies.

"No." Lexa says. "No it's a warning. They think I'm betraying their legacy. Jus drein jus daun has always, always been the way of our people."

"Listen to me." Clarke says, and Lexa makes herself look at her. "A ceasefire is not a betrayal. What you did in that battlefield stopped a war. Your legacy will be peace." Lexa examines her. Should she trust Skaikru even when her own Commanders have sent her a warning? Has she made a grave mistake?

She stands to help herself breathe. In Clarke's seat she finds a picture. She picks it up and finds her own sleeping face drawn in with coal. Clarke is by her side, embarrassed, "That's not finished." She says. Lexa looks back at her, wondering how she could permanently capture the moment when the Commanders spoke with her, warning her of this new way of life: jus no drein jus daun.

A knock interrupts them and Lexa sighs.

"Enter." She says, and here is Titus again with more trouble.


	2. There Were No Storms in the Ark

A loud clap of thunder wakes Clarke. She flinches at the rumbling sounds that follow it and squints at the lightning rods that shoot across the sky like veins. There were never storms like this in the Ark, and even though she has spent months on the ground, the deep and threatening voices of the dark clouds still scare her. "I'll be safe here in the tower." She tells herself as another round of thunder rolls over the night sky. Was it just her fear, or did the tower shake? Like a child, she buries her face under the pelt blanket and prayed for the storm to end. For the first time since the Dropship, she wished her father was here. She curls into a ball, resisting the urge to cry out just as a string of lightning almost made it seem like it was morning.

The thunder and lightning wakes Lexa too. She moves under her blankets and pulls a pillow over her head to drown the noise. Lightning strikes and the flash of light makes her sit up. "Clarke." She thinks to herself and gathers her night robe and slips out of her room. Her guards stand stoically just outside her door. She nods at them and they understand not to follow her. She'll be safe on her own tonight.

The floor is cold against her bare feet. Lexa always preferred warmth. In Polis, the sun settles on your skin like a warm blanket. It rarely even turns icy but when it does, Lexa tries to stay indoors.

She reaches Clarke's door and very quietly she knocks. At the same time, a round of thunderbolts, louder than before, rolls over the capital and her knocks are drowned by it. Inside, she hears Clarke whimper, almost like a small child and Lexa doesn't wait for a reply to open the door.  
"Are you alright?" Lexa says. Slowly, as if testing the waters, Clarke peeks out from under the sheets. Her hair is draped on the sides of her terrified face but she still tries to smile.  
"Lexa." She breathes out as if in relief. "Yes, I'm fine. You should go back to your room." Just then lightning cracks in the night sky, striking a nearby tree that catches on fire. Clarke lets out a terrified scream and Lexa crosses the space between them faster than the lightning itself.  
"The rain will extinguish the fire." She says, placing a gentle hand on Clarke shoulder.

Lexa's hand feels so warm against her skin. She wonders if everyone from the ground has a slightly higher body temperature than everyone who was on the Ark. She looks away from the windows and back at Lexa, silently asking her if she could stay with her, just for tonight.  
"Polis is used to storms that light up trees. The people won't even stir in their sleep." She says, "We'll be alright in this storm."  
"I've never been in a weather condition like this." Clarke answers, "In the Ark, there is nothing but the hum of technology to accompany your sleep."  
"I can stay." Lexa says and Clarke smiles. "If it will make you feel safe, I can stay."  
"Thank you." Clarke says, relieved that Lexa offered because she can never bring herself to ask her any more favors. She moves to make space for Lexa but when she looks back up to her, she was already moving to sit on the far couches.  
"You won't get any good rest sleeping on that." Clarke says and clears her throat. Lexa turns to her and looks at the space that was cleared for her. The bed is not too big, smaller than her's but they will fit together. She resists her wide smile and walks back to the bed. Only when she is lying down does Clarke lay down as well.

"Tell me more about the Ark." Lexa says, trying to keep Clarke's attention away from the storm and back to a place she once called home.  
"It was always cold." She says, "I don't think you'd like it. It was full of metal. Too much silver and too little green. We rationed everything. Food, water, medicine, clothes, air. Nothing was ever truly yours because it was everyones."  
"That must have been very debilitating." Lexa whispers to herself but since they're so close to each other, Clarke hears her and nods.  
"It was the only way we could survive." The storm, if possible, begins to get stronger, louder, and more terrifying. The sheets of rain that passes through the city enters through the window and thunder and lightning answer each other in a chorus that makes Clarke shake. Lexa looks at her, shifting between the sheets and so she searches to touch her. Clarke isn't faced toward her, she was too busy watching the sky through the window to see the lightning scatter like fireworks in the dark sky.  
"Shh." Lexa says as she pulls Clarke into her. She intertwines her legs around Clarke's to make her feel grounded. She wraps her arm around her waist and slips the other under her head to cradle her. After a few moments she stops shaking. "You're safe." Lexa whispers to her as she rests her head her shoulder.  
"Only with you." Clarke whispers and shuts her eyes as another thunder shouts in the night.

They stay like this even after the storm passes. Lexa falls asleep with her arms and legs all around Clarke. Clarke had gotten too wired up to welcome sleep so she tries to slow her breathing by matching it with Lexa's. In the morning this will be over. She will be the Commander again and there will be no time to be Lexa. Slowly and gently, Clarke turns herself to face the sleeping Lexa. She looks angelic and more peaceful than she has ever been since the moment they met. Clarke stretches her arms and slips it under and over Lexa's tiny frame to wrap her in an embrace. As though it were instinct, Lexa also adjusts and Clarke could feel her arms curling to pull her closer.

Clarke buries her face in Lexa's neck and breathes her in. She smells of freshly cut grass and lavenders and something else she can't quite put a name to. Softly, she plants a kiss on the line of her jaw and whispers a thank you for keeping her company tonight. As the last of the rain drops fall, Clarke finally finds sleep, thinking that maybe it was love she smelled on Lexa's skin. She never knew the smell of love or the touch of it against her skin, or the sound of it's voice. Maybe love smelled like Lexa, touched and spoke like her, but she wasn't sure. She never knew love like this, something so ambivalent that it could destroy her and make her whole at the same time. She never knew anyone like Lexa but she knew for sure that for once in her life she was thankful of being put in Solitary so that she could be the first to fall to the ground and find Lexa here in her arms.


	3. Ayra Nomo Won Natblida

Deep in the woods where no one in Polis has ever gone is a cemetery. Only a handful of bodies lie here. The Commanders bury their fallen nightbleeders here. Children who died in combat or fell ill before their Conclave all gather here in silence as each Commander honor their life. Nightbleeders are honored with the oldest ritual known to their culture. They are buried under the soil to be one with the ground again. Their bodies are not reduced to ash as the tradition is today. They belong with the earth that they were trained to protect.

In the dim light of the rising sun, Lexa kneels before the youngest of all those who lie here in peace. "Ayra." She whispers apologetically. She would have been four years today. Ayra was the first nightbleeder to be delivered to her. A small thing cuddled in a basket of spare pieces of cloth. Nightbleeders are rarely delivered as infants. Babies rarely get wounded and night blood must be seen for it to be proven and only then can a signal be lighted so that they may be delivered to Polis for training. Poor Ayra was cut by the blade of the midwife and as soon as the slick black blood escaped her skin, she was swept away from her mother. Ayra was the only nightbleeder who never called Lexa, Commander. For her, Lexa was _nomon_. Mother.

As the sun rose slowly, the grass began to glitter with dew. She touched the smooth stone that marked Ayra's grave and silently asked for forgiveness again. Before rising to her feet, Lexa gathered small flowers she could pick from arms reach and gathered it beneath the rock.

"They told me I would find you here." Clarke's voice startled her.

"Only Commanders can step on this soil." A lie but a necessary one to give her space to grieve. Lexa says this sternly and she soon regrets it. Clarke takes an urgent step back and bows her head in respect.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know. I should go." Clarke begins to walk away.

"Wait." Lexa called and Clarke turned back to her. "I want you to meet, Ayra, my first nightbleeder."

Clarke learns quickly. The stones on the ground mark graves and not a random arrangement of nature. Lexa extends a hand to Clarke and she takes it. They sit together by Ayra's stone and Lexa begins to tell the story of her first and only fallen nightbleeder.

Polis was in celebration. A new Commander has just been chosen. On the balcony of her tower, Lexa looks beyond the city chanting her name. "Heda Lexa! Heda Lexa!" In the distance, she searches for Luna. The escaped nightblood of vowed never to kill again. Behind her, Titus begins to advice her. "Let me chase her, Heda. No trained nightblood must live while you reign."

"No, Titus." Lexa says. "Let Luna go. As long as she does not contend my Ascension, we do not move against her." Titus bows his head and steps back.

Not too far away from Polis, near the outskirts of the wood that bounded the capital was a mother crying in pain as she brought her first child into the world.

"Not too long now, Lili." The father spoke gently. His hand was tightly bound by Lili's. The midwife was a young girl who was nervous because this was the first mother she would help assist. As the baby slipped away from the mother, the young girl snipped the cord but not before the tip of the blade grazed the fragile skin of the baby. Her cries replaced her mother's and the slick black blood of the child sung in the air.

"I'm sorry." The young girl fumbled. "I'm sorry." The father took the child in his arms and with the tip of his finger, swiped the blood from the child's leg and looked back at Lili with more sadness than joy. They had lost their daughter to honor long before they can enjoy raising her.

"Let me hold her before they light the signal fire." Lili was crying. "It would have been just a matter of time before we learned about her purpose in life." The child felt warm in her arms. Slippery but she held on tightly to the baby, knowing that very soon, the Flamekeeper will arrive to take her away.

"Give her name before she goes." The father says. "Give her a name, Lili." They had never spoken of names before but looking at her child now, it is clear.

"She will be called Ayra." Lili smiles and she gently plants a kiss on the baby's forehead. Ayra's father wraps her in a blanket, putting light pressure on the small wound that had forever changed their lives. Lili hands the baby over to him and begins to fall to sleep.

"Ayra, my child." He sings to her, "One day, you will become Commander. Remember me and your mother. We loved you even before Ascension." Outside their tent, the young midwife notifies the guard and the signal fire is quickly lit.

Glittering black smoke rises fast into the sky and a few moments later, Lexa's eyes catch the smoke glittering.

"Do you see that, Titus?" She says. The cheers have subsided somewhat. Some of the people have spotted the smoke signal as well.

"Yes, Heda." Titus says. "I will assemble my fastest riders. Your duty as Commander has officially begun."

"Bring the child safely to me, Titus." She says and leaves the balcony. Inside, Costia waits for her. Her silky brown hair falls gently behind her shoulders. Special flowers adorn her braids for the special day of Ascension. Lexa smiles at her and Costia reaches for her. "Heda Lexa kom Trikru." Costia smiles.

"Look at the smoke outside." Lexa tells her excitedly. "I have my first nightbleeder."

"What a lucky child." Costia says. "He will grow strong under your training, that is for sure."

Titus arrived the next day. The sun was just rising but Lexa was waiting by the gates of Polis. Confused, she did not find the last horse manned by her nightbleeder. Instead, Titus came bearing a basket. As they neared, Lexa could hear the wailing cries of an infant. Titus dismounted and presented her the child.

"Her name is Ayra." He says, looking at Lexa to watch her reaction. "She will be cared for by the maids and shall be turned over to you as soon as she takes her first steps. It should not be too long from now."

"She looks fresh from the womb, Titus." Lexa says. "What can I teach her? What can she gain from me? We should have left her with her mother." The child stops wailing at the sound of her voice. Little Ayra follows the sound and finds Lexa's eyes.

"The child is drawn to you. To your spirit." Titus says. "She belongs with you, Heda. The younger they come, the more prepared they are for the Conclave."

"She will not be cared for by the maids." Costia steps forward. "They have much to care for already. Heda, let me take Ayra." Lexa turns to her lover. She searches her eyes for what kinds of tactics she has devised to bring her to this decision of mothering an infant of a stranger. Costia looks back at her. "If she is yours to raise for the Conclave, then she is mine as well." She takes the baby from the basket, gently covers her from the cold dawn and cradles her in her arms. "Ayra noma won Natblida." _Ayra, the first Nightbleeder._

Costia often found herself in the Commander's chambers. Ayra would not rest unless Lexa cradles her. Lexa argues that it is their connection to the spirit of the Commanders but Costia can see how Lexa, even in the middle of night, enjoys calming the baby.

"She is so small." Lexa whispers one night. "Look at her, Cos, Ayra my first nightbleeder." The baby sucks on her thumb. "She's hungry." Lexa says worriedly. Costia comes over to her with milk, warmed in a waterskin.

"You're good at this." Costia says.

"At what?" Lexa says, still looking at the baby.

"Being a mother." Costia whispers thinking about what they could have together in the future.

"You're good at it too." Lexa looks up to her and smiles. "You're the only one who can make her laugh."

In the year that passes, Titus brings more nightbleeders to the capital. All in all, Lexa has gained 7 children so far. They train hard but they love harder. Titus persistently advises her to keep the relationship strictly as student-teacher but he has forgotten the first nightbleeder she is raising with Costia in the tower itself.

"Heda?" Aden calls to her and she looks to him, raising a brow, urging him to address her in the language she has been teaching them.

"Commander." Aden corrects himself. "Is Costia going to here with Ayra?"

"Is Costia going here with Ayra." Lexa corrects him and Aden repeats himself. "Not today. The noise upsets the young nightbleeder. Now, recite the purpose of nightbleeders." The children stand tall and begin to recite their pledge. They are in the woods, not too far from the gate. The budding Coalition is strong enough to keep them safe outside the walls of the capital without the need of guards. Lexa teaches combat better when she is alone with the children. She lets them practice bearing the weight of their sword on both hands before she challenges them to an easy combat with her. They return to the tower when the sun begins to set. The children are tired but Lexa reminds them to walk tall as they march through the capital.

Costia greets them at the foot of the tower. Little Ayra stands next to her, her whole hand wrapped around two fingers of Costia's. The children light up at the sight of her and they gather around her, Aden gets to her first and picks her up. Ayra smiles and laughs. The nightbleeders take her away into the tower and Costia and Lexa are left alone.

"Did they train well?" Costia asks her.

"They did." Lexa says, thinking about the progress they have made with the freedom that the growing Coalition has brought her. "They will train better when I contain Azgeda."

"Rest, Lexa." Costia takes both her hands in hers and pulls her into the privacy of the tower. "You need to slow down."

"I need to protect our people." Lexa says.

"Look at you." Costia says, bringing her hand to Lexa's cheek. "Your face is hot. You spent the whole afternoon under the sun, training the children. You brought two more clans into your Coalition just yesterday. Azgeda will rue the day they decide to move against you." Lexa closes her eyes but Costia moves closer to her and envelopes her in an embrace. "It's time to rest. We're safe here. You made us safe here, Heda." That night, Little Ayra sleeps deeply in Lexa's protective arms. Costia embraces them both when she finds them on her bed just a few moments after Lexa gave the baby a bath. They sleep like this, and for the first time and Lexa dreams of a stronger Polis, one where her Nightbleeders can grow strong and where her people can live in peace and where she and Costia will stay together forever.

When she wakes in the morning, Lexa is alone in the bed. She finds a note from Costia saying that she and Ayra have gone for a walk in the woods, that they'll be careful and that they brought some of the guard with them. "I didn't want to wake you, but Ayra looked like she needed some sun. We'll be back soon. I love you." She smiles and folds the letter and secures it in her pocket. She gets ready for the day and soon, she marches into the nightbleeder's quarters.

Today is all about decision making. The children will be with her in all of her meetings with the ambassadors so they learn to ways of the Coalition. As early as it is, ambassadors have come from clans all around the map. They sit with the Commander and bargain their benefits and their responsibilities. Not even Costia has sat with her in these meetings. The nightbleeders will confer with Lexa and act as advisers to her before she announces any decision. Good leaders are smart more than they are strong.

The ambassadors bow before her as she and her nightbleeders enter the room. The children sit to her left while an empty seat to her right is left for Titus, her true adviser. She calls the meeting into order but as soon as everyone has settled in, Titus thunders into the room. Lexa rises to her feet as she sees the urgency in the face of her adviser.

"Speak, Titus." She says.

"Azgeda." He says. "They are marching towards our gates. We need to prepare."

"Send word to your warriors immediately!" Lexa addresses the ambassadors. "Protect your Commander, honor our Coalition!" The ambassadors quickly rise to their feet and swear their loyalty before they speed out the room to send word to their clans.

"How much time?" Lexa asks, she could feel the tingling of the Flame at the back of her neck, urging her to assuage the threat.

"They will be here in moments." Titus says.

"Send warriors to the gates. Prepare an army and a horse for me. We charge now." She clears the room. "Natblidas, stay and protect the tower."

"Nomon!" Aden's voice stops her. _Mother!_ Slowly she turns to him. He is afraid just like his brothers and sisters. They have never been in true combat before but she knows that they will be safe here in the tower. "Costia and Ayra." Aden continues and the note in her pockets begins to burn her skin. How could she have forgotten?

"Titus!" She calls, "Search the woods now. Look for Costia and Ayra! Do not fail me." She begins to shake in the knowledge that she might be too late. That Azgeda might have caught up to them before she could. The guards they took are no match for a whole army. Aden comes to her and takes her hand. A small and soft palm keeping the Commander's hand steady. "I will go with them to look." He says. "I will bring them back."

"Aden, your courage endangers you." She kneels before him, looking at him at eye level. "Your kindness will make you a good leader but now, you and your brothers and sisters need to go to the safeplace in the tower. I cannot lose any of you." The children embrace her one last time before she lets them go. The horns begin to sing the treacherous songs of battle. Azgeda will be close. The armies from the sworn clans are too far to give aid. Costia and Ayra need to be found.

She is at the edge of the gates. Her horse is ready to sprint, her sword is secure in her grip. Just as she is about to send word to open the gates, the horns blow a different song. Azgeda has begun to retreat. Part of her is relieved but the Flame tells her otherwise. Her past Commanders are telling her that the war has just begun and that she should not let go of her fight.

"Open the gates!" She orders. Her army is confused. How can Azgeda resist this battle, one that they know has a good chance of triumph. She takes a handful of her best riders and warriors with her as they scout the wood. Her archers are in the trees, watching and giving signs. The Ice Nation have taken something but the Flame has gone silent. Her heart is heavy with knowing. As though she had conjured him, Titus, on his horse comes to her side.

"Heda, listen." Titus is looking to the archers who tell him that they hear a sound. They stop moving and as the rustling of dried leaves die down, she hears it. Ayra. Her sweet Little Ayra. She kicks her horse into motion and he charges with such speed. Lexa raises her sword high, ready for a fight but when she reaches the source of the cries, she finds Ayra alone, dying. Her blood, dark as the night sky, pools around her tiny frame. Lexa almost falls from her horse and kneels before her child, afraid to touch her, to cause her even more pain, but she doesn't want the leaves to calm her to death. She picks her up and somehow the small child feels heavier in her arms. Her blood continues to flow from a knife wound right in the middle of her chest. Her clothes are drenched. She must feel cold.

"Sis ai au!" Lexa cries. _Help me!_ "She's dying. She's dying." Ayra's cries get fainter, weaker, as the life in her begins to fade. Lexa brings the child even closer to her, the blood seeping into her own clothes. Ayra's cries are no more than a whimper now. After a while, her guard catches up to her, and they watch as their Commander cries in defeat as she cradles her first Nightbleeder.

 _Ayra nomo won Natblida ste wan op._ Ayra the first Nightbleeder is dead. Slowly, Lexa settles the body on her lap. She tears a large piece of her red cape and wraps Ayra in it. " _Yu gonplei ste odon._ " She says before covering Ayra's face.

Never again. Never again will Azgeda step on her land to take another of her people. They will never march to Polis with the intent of hurting her like this again. She will have her revenge. Blood must have blood.

She looks down at the small frame of what used to be Ayra. Her blood has quickly turned the bright red cloth into a dark shade of maroon. She gets to her feet, carries the child in her arms and addresses her army. She knows Azgeda has taken Costia. "At sunrise tomorrow, we march to Azgeda to make them pay for this." Her voice is low but it rings across the woods. Even the archers can hear her clearly. "Together with the clans of our Coalition, we will destroy Azgeda!"

The nightbleeders gather around Ayra. They cry but they try to hide it from Lexa. In her chambers, the night brings no sleep. She speaks with her ambassadors to make plans on how best to attack Azgeda. When dawn comes, they have a solid plan. The clans will arrive in waves, from different directions of the nation. They will attack with all the force of the Coalition. Lexa's army will arrive earlier than the rest. Not to fight but to sneak into their forces to reclaim Costia. When she is secure, Lexa herself will seek out the Queen to kill her. If she succeeds there will be no need for the rest of the clans to fight or die for her.

"But you never found her?" Clarke asks when Lexa stops speaking. The sun has risen well up into the sky now. The leaves whistle a sad rhythm. Lexa is staring into the distance behind Clarke, remembering clearly how it felt to find the Ice Nation prison empty. To see the life leave the guard's eyes after he tells her to go home and there she will find her lover. To remember the lifeless stare of Costia's head resting on her pillows. To feel the lightness of the weight of Ayra on her arms before she buried her. To see Ayra true mother for the first time at the burial, and recognize the same green eyes that she knew so well. To see Ayra's true father cry in pain as they helped her set the baby down into the soil. The heaviness of her heart when she made herself rise the next day to train her remaining nightbleeders.

"They killed her even before we could get there." Lexa whispers. "I was too late. Again."

"You don't have to relive this for me." Clarke says. She reaches for Lexa's hand but she recoils right away, fearing that maybe it isn't her touch that Lexa is needing right now.

"I wanted you to know my family." Lexa says. now looking at Clarke. "I wanted you to understand how difficult blood must not have blood is for me, personally."

"I know that Lexa." Clarke starts but Lexa makes her listen.

"Ayra and Costia." She continues, "They were my family, Clarke. They were taken from me, brutally killed but I'm telling you this story because I wanted to show you that I am, that I was capable of jus no drein jus daun even before you fell from the sky. I let Azgeda into my Coalition even after they took everything from me." _Good leaders are smart more than they are strong._

It seems as though Lexa is speaking to convincer herself more than she is trying to convince Clarke.

"She would have been four years old today." Lexa says, looking at the single stone that marks that Ayra ever existed here in this world. No one has ever spoke of Ayra nomo won Natblida in Polis for as long as she has been here. No doubt Lexa has ordered them never to mention her name.

"At that time, to lose Ayra was the greatest pain I could have ever imagined." Lexa whispers.

"And now?" Clarke asks.

"Now it is losing you." Lexa says not looking back at her.


	4. Polis Meets Arkadia 1

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters but this story plot belongs to me.

This is an attempt to rewrite Lexa's death out of the show. It's a short story but the best thing about it is Lexa will never die here.

Context: Arkadia is part of the Coalition. Pike has been contained and is awaiting his trial that will most likely send him to prison for life. His followers have finally seen reason and have put their loyalties back to Chancellor Kane. Bellamy Blake has been put in prison as well for killing the 300 warriors. Clarke is still Ambassador, and Lexa is still Commander. The Nightbleeders are alive. King Roan rules Azgeda and keeps Ontari on check. The ground is finally at peace but the threat of ALIE still looms over them. Jaha is a silent force to be reckoned with.

 **Polis meets Arkadia 1: Ambassadors' Updates**

It's a quiet day in Polis. The market is littered with a few people here and there. Not many are out to buy because of the light rain sweeping over the capital. The tower stands tall; the grey sky contrasting the bright flame that has been lit to signify that official business is taking place and that the Commander is not to be disturbed. The council of the Commander has convened for the weekly updates of each Clan. Within the summit room, the thirteen Ambassadors sit around a table facing the throne of the Commander. Quietly, each one reports peace and cooperation among their own poeple. It is a good day. Lexa is confident that peace in the city has been restored and she intends on keeping it that way. Behind her, the sun can be seen sinking into the horizon, making the rain clouds even darker.

"We've got Pike and Bellamy Blake in lockdown." Clarke is the last to announce. The ambassadors seated next to her all nod in approval. She clears her throat and swallows her nerves. Among the thirteen seated before the Commander, Clarke is the youngest but her people pose the most threat to the Coalition. She takes a deep breath before continuing her announcement. "Pike is no longer a threat. We have a new chancellor. Chancellor Kane _will_ keep the peace and will honor the Coalition. Despite this, I have news of a new problem." Lexa's eyes focus on Clarke. She was not prepared for this report. Arkadia has just been contained and not even a few days after, a new problem is at loose? Lexa tears her gaze from Clarke and looks instead to each Ambassador, thinking about which among them have harmful intentions against Clarke. "Former Chancellor Jaha has been distributing chips among my people. It's nature is still unknown. We're not sure if it's good or bad but it seems to have an effect on the memories of the people. Jaha claims the chip removes all feelings of pain but we have observed some who have taken it, forget some- poignant memories." Clarke continues, remembering how Raven described it as some form of mind control but she couldn't say more over the radio. Clarke decides on not announcing more than this. The Council of Ambassadors will know when she is sure of what this is.

"Your chancellors have the tendency to stray and do harm, don't they?" The ambassador from Trishanakru scoffs. Clarke begins to rebut but she holds her voice.

"Enough, Golind. I will not have my Ambassadors disrespecting each other." The Commander raises her hand and all eyes and ears refocus on her. Golind mumbles an apology. "What are your plans, Ambassador Clarke?" Lexa continues.

"With your permission, I plan to ride back to Arkadia as soon as possible to help." Clarke says.

"Your request is granted." She says. "And I will ride with you. In my absence, The Flamekeeper will sit among you and assume some of my duties. Decisions on Clans and warriors will remain under my power. Is this clear?"

"But Heda, this newfound peace is fragile." Titus begins, "Surely, Skaikru can rely on their Ambassador to resolve this meager issue? We need you here."

"This newfound peace is fragile, yes, and the one thing that threatens it is the very thing that I am riding away to destroy while it is but a seed." Lexa explains. "Besides, it is time that Arkadia meets her Commander. I give my trust to you, my Ambassadors, to keep the peace while I ride to Arkadia." Lexa gives Azgeda and Trishanakru a long look while she says this.

"Yes Commander." They all reply. They rise and bow down to Lexa before she dismisses them. Clarke stays behind. The summit room seems bigger now that only Lexa and Clarke remain.

"When do we leave?" She asks Lexa.

"Dawn. With the storms this season, it will take more than a day to get to Arkadia." She says. "Tonight, you will prepare me by telling me everything about your people. I need to be ready and I want to know everything about everyone. Including Bellamy Blake."

"We need to send a bird to Arkadia ahead of us so they can prepare for you. With this weather I'm not sure I'll be able to get a signal for the radio." Clarke suggests. Arkadia may be in peace but it doesn't mean that the people are not in chaos. Two chancellors in a span of months has no precedent. She neglected to announce this but Pike is a restless prisoner and has not accepted his mistakes.

"No." Lexa says, sitting down on one of the chairs around the table. "Let our entrance be a surprise. I want to see the true Arkadia. Not the one that is put up only in my presence. We will bring guards during the trip but I am sure that your people are no longer hostile."

"What do you plan to do when we get there?" She asks Lexa, fearing for Bellamy's sake. His crimes were not against Arkadia so his sentence is to be given by the Commander and selected people to from a council for trial. Bellamy needs to be punished, yes, but not killed. Clarke wonders if jus no drein jus daun is truly accepted by the people of the Coalition. Bellamy will be the first to test their strength to abide by the new law of the Commander.

"You tell me." Lexa says, quickly catching on Clarke's anxiety about Bellamy. "This Bellamy is different from the one you talked about when we were in battle with the Mountain Men. That Bellamy was brave and he saw reason. He was a good warrior, not a rogue one. He is ours to punish but a fair trial means he needs to be defended. So tell me. What does Bellamy Blake deserve after killing warriors who were sent to him to protect your people?"

"He's been mislead." Clarke begins but she wonders if she is the best to speak about what happened. She wasn't even there. She has heard about Bellamy's allure to Pike's regime and she no doubt remembers the anger and blame he has placed on her for leaving but should she really defend Bellamy for this crime? Indra was at the doorstep of death when they found her. Even today, weeks after, she cannot even sit up to eat.

"I don't know enough to take a side on this but I know Bellamy." Clarke pauses. "I knew him. And I trusted him but this- this betrayal and rash decision to kill is not something I would force you to forgive. Maybe if I could talk to him again,"

"The last time I sent you to talked with him, he detained you. Octavia had to save you and deliver you back safely to me." Lexa sighs. "I will speak with him."

"And then?" Clarke asks.

"Then the council and I will decide his fate." Lexa says. Clarke sinks into the chair next to her and cradles her face in her palms.

"You still care for him?" Lexa asks, "Even after what his hate has made him do?"

"I'm tired of being responsible for his actions." Clarke says, finally speaking out the truth about her distaste for him and for the things he makes her feel. "I had to fight tooth and nail for the ears of the 98 kids we were sent down here with to listen to reason and not to his propaganda of 'Whatever the hell we want.' He's changed for the better since then but he can be mislead. I can't help but feel responsible for creating that Bellamy who killed your people. He said it was my fault because I left. Because I couldn't stay after what I had done to the Mountain Men. He said that people die under my watch and he's right, they do and maybe it's not their fault because the common denominator is me." She sinks down on the table after a while, Lexa's arms pull her into an embrace and Clarke rests her head on the crook of her neck.

"Bellamy was wrong to say that." Lexa says. "To put the guilt of his actions on your shoulders. He's wrong. You're doing the best you can and they should show gratitude."

"I don't want you to have to deal with his mess too." Clarke says, pulling herself away from Lexa. "He's my problem."

"You forget about my promise." Lexa smiles, "I swore fealty to you _first_. If he's a problem for you, he's my problem too."

* * *

The sun has disappeared the moon is beginning to cast a dim light over the summit room. The candles are being lit by Lexa's handmaidens. They go around the room, making it brighter and calmer. Clarke and Lexa spend the night preparing for their trip. The clouds continue to rain down on the capitol, making the night cold and the people sleepy. It is quiet now, only the scratches of coal against paper makes sounds. Clarke is drawing a map of Arkadia. Marking every exit she can find in case they need to make an escape. She feels weird detailing escape plans on the very same infrastructure she grew up in but things are different now. Lexa's safety is her number one concern.

"It's like a maze in there." Lexa says, pointing at the Ark.

"When I was a child, I used to get lost walking from my classroom to our home even though it was just around the corner." Clarke recalls. The Ark is a metal maze, made with winding halls that were meant to maximize surface area, not only for space but also for oxygen transportation. Hospital wards and classrooms are strategically placed in areas where oxygen levels are high to aid healing and learning. In smaller places where people need not stay for long periods like bathrooms or containment closets, oxygen levels are a bit lower. Lexa studies the map until it's image is branded in her mind. When the wind blows the candles away and when Lexa begins to feel cold, they move into the Commander's Chambers to sleep.

When the dawn comes, Lexa wakes next to Clarke, the bed is littered with loose pages of paper marked with her writing and Clarke's sketches. Beside her, Clarke is still sleeping, her head resting on the same pillow Lexa was using.

"Wake up, Clarke." Lexa says but Clarke only shifts in her sleep, making the sea of paper on the bed rustle and crumple. "It's time to go." She places a gentle hand over her head, sweeping away her hair from her face. She thinks about what's in store for them after all of this is settled. They have been hiding behind the guise of meetings and private consultations to spend time together. Titus knows the truth but what will the rest of Polis think? Will they accuse her of replacing Costia, their beloved Costia who was taken too soon.

 _Polis might never learn to love Clarke as much as they loved Costia. How could they? Costia was one of us while Clarke came from the sky, and brought with her her people who have caused more harm than good._ Lexa shakes her thoughts away. Why should she trouble herself with the thoughts of others when the only thing that matters is that she loves Clarke. She knows Clarke in ways that the people of the Ground _and_ the Sky will never know. As Clarke sleeps, Lexa plants a soft kiss on the back of her palm. Clarke wakes and Lexa holds on to her hand as she opens her eyes. "It's time to go." She says again.

"I feel like I've only slept for a minute." Clarke says but she rises. Lexa lets go of her hand and she notes how gently Clarke touches the place of her hand where she kissed her. Lexa rises from the bed and begins to gather the papers together. She will need these to study for the trip over to Arkadia.

"What will happen to us?" Clarke's soft voice breaks the silence. "When we come back from Arkadia and when everything has been said and done. What about us?"

"Then I will introduce you to my people and you will introduce me to yours." Lexa smiles and moves in to kiss her, the papers, momentarily forgotten.


	5. Polis Meets Arkadia 2

**Polis meets Arkadia 2: The Cave**

Some long hours into the road, their horses move slow against the sweeping rain. Throughout the night, the light showers have grown into heavy rains that make the terrain more dangerous. Mud slides down the incline of the forrest and the horses stagger to keep balance. Lexa pulls her ride to a stop and the rest stop behind her. She's spotted caves not too far to her left. "It will be wiser to set up camp."

Her guard goes ahead of her to secure the area but there is little danger now that the Coalition is more secure than ever. Her party of seven guards and two handmaidens make camp. She and Clarke can stay in the cave while the others set up tents outside, preferring the sounds of the forrest than the crushing silence inside stone.

"They're my people." Lexa explains. "Trikru guard who came with me when I was called to train as a nightbleeder all those years ago. They prefer being outside. Don't worry about them, Clarke."

"We can stay outside too, if that's more comfortable with you. I don't mind." Clarke says, hoping that Lexa wouldn't detect the lie. Storms have always made Clarke feel uneasy but the thought of making Lexa feel that way unravels her.

"We're in the middle of a storm, Clarke." Lexa says with a gentle smile, "We should stay in the cave."

Inside, they spread a sheet over the small area. Clarke sits at the very depth of the small cave, wanting to stay as far away from the lightning as possible. Inside, it's much more quiet. The rain is muffled against the rock and only the rivulets of water seeping in between the cracks of the rock echo through. Their trip has only begun but she feels very tired already. There weren't any horseback riding training in Earth Skills.

"Teach me how to ride properly when we're done?" Clarke says. "Our horses are tied together which makes it so much easier to ride but if I were left alone, my horse would escape me too." Lexa laughs. "I'm serious!" Clarke says, laughing now too.

"You're a decent rider, for Skaikru." Lexa says as she sits next to her. "And yes, I will teach you. Or maybe I'll have my youngest nightbleeder have the honor." They laugh. Clarke leans into Lexa and she brings an arm around her, pulling her even closer.

"How long do you think the rain will last?" Clarke asks, her cheek resting on Lexa's shoulder as she looks out of the opening of the cave.

"A couple of hours more maybe. Hopefully we can ride again when the sun sets we'll be in Arkadia by nightfall." Lexa says. The rain begins to sweep into the cave, thunder rumbles in the sky and a loud clap of lighting strikes at the air. "We'll be alright here. It's just water, Clarke."

"What are you afraid of?" Clarke asks. Outside the rain and the wind come together to beat down on the tents of the guard and the maids. The pieces of cloth and plastic whip against the wind but stay intact on the ground. It's cold and the air is too moist to start a fire.

Lexa looks down at Clarke and watches her eyes follow the sweeping rain and she knows that of all the terrors this girl has faced on the ground, the rain is what she fears because she didn't have that growing up. To experience many things at a young age makes one stronger. In her youth, Lexa was ripped away from her family and her clan. She was brought to the strange capitol to _fight_ against other children. Her childhood was no stranger to terror and pain so she fears less and less as she grows up. _What am I afraid of?_

"I'm the Commander." Lexa says confidently. "I do not fear."

"What are you afraid of?" Clarke says again, not believing her answer.

"I need to get rest, Clarke." Lexa says. "It's a long way to Arkadia." She doesn't wait for a reply, instead, she pulls her arm from under Clarke lays on the ground to rests her head and closes her eyes.

"When I was a kid, I was afraid of losing my parents." Clarke continues to talk. Lexa is faced away from her but she knows she is listening. "It was so easy in the Ark, to lose someone. Our mantra was literally, 'May we meet again'. I hated that. I hated how easily our council can take someone away just for stealing food from the cafeteria for example. Or for having more than one kid. Or announcing the truth about how little air we had left to live on. I'm scared to look at the stars at night because what if the star I think I'm looking at is actually my father's dead body floating around in space? I was afraid of losing my parents and that's exactly what happened. When I grew up I was scared to get floated myself. I was in isolation for so long, I forgot how to count the days. I was afraid I'd lose myself in there. When we landed on the ground, I was still scared of dying but fear took a new form. Grounders. I was scared of you but for the first time, my fear was wrong." Lexa turned around and faced her. Clarke is still sitting upright so she is looking down at her.

"What are you afraid of?" Clarke asks her again.

"I'm afraid that Titus is right. Among many things." Lexa whispers. "I'm afraid that to be Commander is to be alone. I don't want to be alone but I'm also afraid of failing my people. I am most afraid that my fear of loneliness will be the reason of my failing my people."

"You're not alone." Clarke smiles and lays down next to her. "I'm right here and you're the Commander of the _Coalition_. We deserve to be happy, don't we?"

"I want to be happy." Lexa says, her hands reach to her and she pulls Clarke into a deep kiss.

 _Home._

That is how Lexa feels. Even in this dark and dank cave, Lexa feels like she's home nestled in the arms of Clarke and kissing her with no fear of being discovered. Lexa's hands rest on the back of Clarke's neck and on the line of her jaw. She can feel Clarke's arms run up her arms and rest on her shoulders. She has never felt so at peace. When they pull away from each other, Lexa looks back into Clarke's eyes. She's crying.

"Be mine." Lexa whispers to her as she gently wipes the tears away from her cheeks. "Be mine, Clarke."

"I'm yours." She replies.

Outside the thundering rain seems to subside as though it were waiting, forcing the two to come together before the sky relented.

"Arkadia, here we come." Clarke smiles and she gets to her feet.


	6. Polis Meets Arkadia 3

**Polis meets Arkadia 3: At The Dropship**

The ground was still wet and the horses with their elaborate saddles and belts were soaked. The sun set low on the horizon. They had been traveling for more than half the day when the storm slowed them down. Inside the tents of the guard and the maids, Clarke could make out their sleeping silhouettes against the sunlight. "Maybe we should stay the night to rest the horses and our people?" She says as Lexa stands next to her.

 _Our people._ Lexa repeats to herself, happy to hear it from Clarke. "Can Arkadia wait?"

"Raven sounded pretty urgent in our call." Clarke contemplates. It's chaos in Arkadia. The silent kind, the one that creeps up to you so slowly that when the blow comes, you hardly have enough time to recover before the other fist comes swinging. "Maybe they can hold off on their own. I'm not really sure how bad it is there."

"Then we ride now." Lexa says. As soon as she says this, their guard exit from their tents and start preparing the horses. The maids fold up the tents and begin to load the cargo. Clarke wonders just then how much they've heard. Of course they listen. Their duty is to protect and serve their Commander in every possible way just as it is Lexa's duty to protect and serve them. After a few minutes, their band is ready to ride for Arkadia. They each mount their horses, Lexa and Clarke leading the way. The horses move somewhat slower because the soil is soft but slow is better than nothing.

There is something very majestic in the way that Clarke moves. The moonlight makes her hair shine and Lexa can barely stop herself from reaching out to her as they ride to Arkadia. _Clarke is special._

"You look..." Lexa begins to say but she catches herself, remembering that she is in the presence of her guard and she must be the Commander before she is herself. "Are we close?" She asks instead.

"Yes, Heda." Her guard replies. "We will be passing the dropship soon, once we do, it will just be a short distance."

They ride in silence and hours later, as they pass the Dropship, Clarke can't help but stop to look at the place where everything began. The moon is just on the rise but the sun has gone. The darkness settles in between the trees. The Dropship has an eerie feel to it; as though the ghostly eyes of many of the hundred and the grounders who fought and died here are watching them pass, daring them to come near. The moonlight peaks through the leaves of the trees, making the Dropship glow in the night. Moss has started to grow on its metal body, vines trail up from the ground and up. There is no one here but the remains of the dead and the large boot marks left behind by the Mountain Men.

"We should honor our people who died here." Lexa says. "They lost their lives because we failed to form an alliance sooner. We saw each other as enemies when we could have been stronger together soon enough to avoid bloodshed and death." She gets down from her horse and Clarke follows her. Lexa walks slowly toward the entrance of the ship, passing through burnt skeletons she can't identify. She takes a deep breath, remembering how a strategy meeting decided that 300 of her warriors should be more than enough to take down 100 Sky People. Here they are now, the 300 who she sent to die a most painful death. She looks back to her parade of guards and maids. She nods to Allena, her most trusted maid and she knows to fetch a set of candles to lay down here for their lost people. Allena brings the candles to Lexa, ready to start a fire but Lexa hands the box of candles to Clarke.

"Someone special to me once taught me the value of light." She smiles, looking at the wax candles now in Clarke's hands. "She said that if a small light from a candle can remove even a bit of the darkness, then maybe we have a chance to beat it too."

Clarke looks back at Lexa, feeling the weight of the candles in her hands as though they weighed tons she can't bear alone.

As Allena starts a fire on the ground, Clarke recites the names of those of her people who died here that night in her head. The gun men who stayed behind as she closed the Dropship doors and prepared to rage the flames of the rocket fuel, the ones who died in the fight when their guns lost ammo and when the arrows and knives stroke through their bodies. Those who died earlier on because of the sickness that was sent their way to weaken their numbers even further.

One by one, Lexa and Clarke light each of the dozen candles. They line them up on the very edge of the Dropship doors. The flickering beads of flame shine brighter in the dark night, making the scene a little less frightening. They step back, admiring the work they had done. As they spend a moment of silence, a warm hand wraps around Clarke's and she hold on tight. She looks up at Lexa and watches as her eyes fill with tears and she swallows a cry.

"We're avenging them by building this alliance." Clarke says, trying to comfort Lexa. She realizes then that neither of them has had time to mourn any of the people they've lost here. She forgets how much death Lexa must be carrying on her shoulders all the time. How much responsibility has weighed her down with only pride for her Coalition to keep her steady when failure strikes her. Clarke let's go of her hand and wraps an arm around Lexa instead. Instantly, Lexa curls into her embrace and cries softly on her shoulder.

"We can deny it as much as we want but most of the time, our people die because we make the wrong decisions and they trust us too much to even rethink our orders." Lexa says.

"Wrong decisions don't make us bad leaders." Clarke says. "It just means that we're human and we make mistakes too."

"I'm sorry for leaving you in the Mountain." Lexa says, embracing Clarke even tighter. She thinks of the decisions she's had to bear as Commander and none has been as difficult as leaving Clarke alone and vulnerable on the Mountain. The shattered look of Clarke will forever be the stuff of her nightmares, the weight on her throat, and the burning pain of a wound that cuts deeper than skin. Decisions have to be made and to be Commander is to make a decision for her people but when can a Commander decide for herself? "I'm sorry for leaving you when you needed me the most."

"I understand." Clarke says, resting her head on Lexa's shoulder, "I understand."

In that moment, Lexa melts into her arms, silently revelling in wonder at this rare and often fleeting moment of humanity without any expectation. There is comfort in the incontestable truth of Clarke's feelings for her and Lexa can definitely feel it. This woman is hers and she is hers in return. In this moment, she is not Heda but miraculously, she has found herself in Clarke's eyes. A woman who bears such great responsibility, has fears of her own, and has a heart that feels love and loss in insurmountable ways that no other woman except Clarke could possibly understand.


	7. Polis Meets Arkadia 4

**Polis meets Arkadia 4: Chaos in Arkadia**

They spend the rest of the night trip in silence but Clarke rides close to Lexa, stealing glances, making sure that she's alright. Lexa rides tall, her back straight and her legs firm around the back of her horse. In the short distance, she spots the soft glow of the lights of Arkadia. They have no need for candles there. If she listens closely, there is an odd sound coming from the clan.

"It's the electricity." Clarke says, recognizing the confusion if Lexa's face. "There's a hum. It's the power coming from our generators."

"Strange." Lexa whispers. "The Mountain was powered by the water. There is no stream strong enough near you to sustain this power."

"We use the sun." Clarke explains. "During daylight our panels gather light energy and we store it in the generators to use at night."

"There is much I am to learn from your people."

"Our people." Clarke corrects her and Lexa smiles.

They arrive at the gates of Arkadia. It's tall metal bars rise high above them and no later than a second before their horses stopped, a pair of guards on duty shine a light at them from the top of watch tower.

"Identify yourselves." He calls. Clarke doesn't know this guard but she knows the tone well enough to guess that he was based in the prison when they were in the Ark. She remembers the stern and husky voices that was the soundtrack of her nights in solitary. Guards who spent the night shift playing drinking games with their rationed bottles of water, who would laugh among themselves in between barking at the juveniles to get some sleep because it was lights out.

"Clarke Griffin with the Commander." Clarke says. The guard salutes her and waves for his men to open the gates. With a heavy creek and a series of rattling, the gate opens and their party enters Arkadia. It is quiet inside the gates. The people are soundly sleeping and only a handful of guards roam the ground, making sure that the camp is secure. Only a few lights light the path, a stray lamp here, an emergency flashlight there. Since she's left a great number of tents have been put up outside the Ark itself. In the dim moonlight, she can almost make out the sleeping silhouettes of her people inside.

David Miller, the head of the guard is the first to greet them. As they dismount, Miller extends a hand to Clarke and she gladly takes it. "Good to have you back home, Clarke."

"Thanks Mr. Miller. This is Commander Lexa, leader of the Coalition." Miller meets eyes with Lexa again, and Lexa remembers the face clearly. This is the chief guard of the clan who's son was trapped in the Mountain as well. She betrayed him too that night. Miller begins to bow, unsure of how to behave with a certain monarch before him. Lexa nods and smiles in return, unsure of her own words. She realizes now that it is not just Clarke who deserves an apology. If these people will welcome her to be their leader, it must be out of respect and not a fear that will soon break way because of underlying hate for the promise she broke all those months ago.

"Please, let us speak inside." Miller says, ushering them into the Ark itself. Two of Lexa's guard follows them, their heavy feels sending echoes through the steel halls, the chains around their waists carrying various knives, clinking against each other like sharp bells. "I have just been informed that your mother and the Chancellor are in the Conference Room." Miller tells Clarke, "To what do we owe the presence of the Commander herself?"

"It was time I meet the people of my newest clan." Lexa says. "And I understand that there is trouble brewing here."

They reach the conference room and as Clarke is about to open the doors, Miller clears his throat.

"There will be no weapons in the conference room." He says, looking to Lexa and her heavily armoured guards. Lexa only raises an eyebrow, waiting for Miller to reconsider his mistake.

"There's no need for that, Miller." Clarke shakes her head. Beside her, Lexa's guards begin to tense, ready to fight any resistance against their Commander. For a moment, Miller is about to say something but he closes his mouth. He nods to himself and sighs.

"Forgive me." He smiles a strained smile. "Please, you may enter the conference room."

Miller let's them in the conference room of the Chancellor and closes the door before leaving. Inside, Chancellor Kane is already waiting with Abigail. As soon as the door swings open to reveal Clarke and Lexa, Abby gets to her feet, eager to greet her daughter. Kane takes her hand and makes her wait. _We need to show that Lexa is in control here_ , Kane thinks.

"Good evening, Commander." Chancellor Kane smiles, "What a welcomed surprise visit. Please, take a seat." The patriarch seat of the table has been left empty. The seat on its right, reserved for Clarke. Chancellor Kane and Abigail sit on the chairs next to Clarke. "Forgive me, I did not have time to assemble my Council."

"There is no need for your Council tonight." Lexa says, standing before the patriarch seat and waiting for Clarke to take the seat next to her. Their guards stand behind Lexa. In the shadows, they look like giants. "Thank your for greeting us at this hour."

"How was your trip?" Abby asks. "There was a storm here earlier this morning. It lasted well into the afternoon. I hope you were safe."

"We were safe, Mrs. Griffin, thank you for asking." Lexa replies, breaking her serious tone and even smiling at Abby.

"We're alright, Mom." Clarke smiles. She leans into her and gives her a hug. "Do we have room for the maids and the guards? Also the horses will need rest, food and water."

"There's always room for the Grounders here." Kane says.

"That is good news." Lexa says. "Tomorrow we will convene again to discuss mine and Ambassador Clarke's agenda here. I trust that the people who will sit among us in this meeting are loyal to you, Chancellor Kane. I do not need the fanatics of Jaha or the mislead rebels of Pike to undermine my mission here."

"Of course." Kane says just before he clears his throat. "I will make sure of it."

"Thank you." Lexa says.

"Surely, you must be tired." Abby says rising to her feet. "Let us show you the way to our guest quarters."

Lexa and Clarke follow Abby and Kane through the halls of the Ark. Miller is nowhere to be seen. The Guest quarters are a new addition so this part of the Ark was not in the map that Clarke prepared. Those who preferred to live outside the Ark have donated their rooms to be rearranged as guest rooms. Since Pike was removed from the seat of the a Chancellor, Kane has worked fast to rebuild the identity of Arkadia, from one that murders Grounders, to one that is open to travelers from all around the clans of the Coalition. Most of the people of Arkadia preferred to leave the metal confines of the Ark in which they have lived for decades in space. Tents have been set up around the camp where almost 85% of the people choose to live. The members of the Council, the Guard, and the doctors, nurses and medical students are required to stay indoors.

Through the spinning halls, they reach the guest quarters. The largest room has been quickly cleaned and prepared for the Commander. When they reach the door, Chancellor Kane swipes the key card over the door and it opens. Clarke and Lexa step in. The room used to be divided into three separate rooms. The walls have been retracted to join them into one master bedroom complete with its own bath and kitchen. Everything they would need is already in the room.

"We leave you here, Commander." Kane says. "If there is anything you will be needing please do not hesitate to ask one of our guards. We have two right outside your door at all times," Kane glances outside and sees Lexa's large men standing next to two Arkadian guards. "Your parade has already been shown to their own quarters."

"Alright Clarke, you still know the way back home?" Abby calls for her daughter. Clarke looks back to Abigail, realizing that of course she and Lexa are not to stay here together. Clarke has her own home in the Ark and why would she need to stay with the Commander over night? Clarke has been away from home for so long that she forgets how even her mother knows very little about how much she's changed.

Clarke smiles at Lexa before leaving, resisting the urge to make up an excuse so that her mother and Kane can leave them alone together. It has been a long day of travel and Clarke can't think of any better way to relax and rest than sharing a bed with Lexa but now is not the time. When everything is settled, they can be together.

"I haven't been in my room since they took me away to solitary." Clarke smiles and walks back to her mother. At some level she is happy to come back home to her room, it's been too long since she was allowed to sleep on her own bed. "Good night Commander." She says, looking back at Lexa in the room. She looks out of place. Her heavy travel gear and her bright red cape contrasts sharply with the neutral tone of the master bedroom and the metal panelling of the walls. The stinging white light lands on her hair flatly, making it lose its vibrant mahogany colors. Seeing her like this, Clarke feels even more gravitated towards her, wanting to strip away the lonely look in Lexa's eyes that betray the ferocity of her stance. Keeping up impressions keep Clarke from running back into the room

"Good night, Ambasador." Lexa replies and closes the door.

Abby, Kane, and Clarke walk back to the residential part of the Ark. Clarke feels like a child again, being led back home from school, with the exception that it's Kane, instead of her father. Little by little, the halls begin to feel familiar again.

"How much does she know?" Kane asks her when they near the Clarke household.

"Lexa?" Clarke asks.

"How much did you tell her about what's happening here?"

"She knows about the chips but I only told her the surface of it because I don't even understand it myself." Clarke says. "What's going on, Kane?"

"We should talk about this inside." Abby ushers them into their room. Inside, everything is miraculously the same. Clarke spent about two years in solitary and yet, Abby has managed to keep the place the way it was before Clarke was taken. The table is as messy as it was, papers and books are hastily piled together in one corner while a dim lamp shines over them. The dining table is set for two. Even inside her room, her bed is unmade.

"Jaha has been giving out chips to anyone who'll take it. He's promising it takes away pain and suffering" Kane begins. "But there's more to it than we expected."

"Raven took the chip but she was able to come to her senses before they took her down completely." Abby says. "She asked us to use the bracelets we sent down with you to short circuit the chip."

"Slow down." Clarke says, grappling to gain control of what they're saying.

"Raven took the chip." Abby says, gripping Clarke's arms, making her focus on her. "She said it was some form of mind control. This woman asked her to search for a second AI in the Ark's mainframe. It took her over and because she was glad the pain in her leg was gone, she gladly let them."

"A second AI?"

"Yes." Kane says. "When we were able to destroy the chip, Raven warned us of ALIE's plans."

"ALIE?" Clarke is shaking her head. "I don't understand."

"Clarke, ALIE means to take over the Ark." Abby says. "Turn over the second AI and we'll finish this."

"What?" Clarke pulls away from her mother's grip. "I don't have the second AI."

"We've heard news from Jaha's followers that the second AI was with you when you entered the camp. Monty's been tracking their conversations although not very well." Kane says, "We need to get the AI before any of others do."

"What happens if they get it?" Clarke asks.

"They'll take us all." Abby says, "Either we take the chip and join them or they kills us."

"Then do something about it!" Clarke exclaims, "Take the chips away. Put Jaha in prison. Take control!"

"What do you think we are?" Kane hisses. "Of course we've placed Jaha in prison but his followers still continue to grow. Someone is still delivering chips. We don't know who to trust anymore. We go out everyday and pretend like we don't notice that about 90% of the people are already chipped because once they know that we know, they'll attack."

"Miller?" Clarke asks.

"Chipped." Abby says.

"The guards at the gate?"

"Chipped."

"Who isn't?" Clarke sinks down on a chair.

"Raven. We're sure of that but she's being watched." Kane says. "She's laying low for now. We can't speak with her without blowing our cover of being blissfully ignorant of the things that are going on. A handful of my personal guard are with us but no more."

"Jasper, Monty, Octavia, Lincoln." Abby says off the top of her head. "They're on our side but Jasper is faltering. The councilmen are all down. The prisoners are safe. No one can get to them officially."

"I don't have the second AI." Clarke says. "I don't even know what it looks like."

"The guard that's on watch for Lexa," Kane continues. "They're not my people. Somehow, Jaha is in control here. He intercepted my guards and sent those men to watch the Commander's every move. I think the AI is with her."

"No." Clarke says, shaking her head. "I know Lexa. She doesn't have it. She would have told me something."

"Honey." Abby sits beside Clarke. "Maybe she doesn't know she has it. It could be something that was passed down to her as a family heirloom. A pendant. Some sort of jewellery? It could be anything. Something small. It would be easy to hide."

"What are you suggesting? You want me to steal from my—" Clarke catches herself. "From the Commander? _Our_ Commander."

"We have to get it before they do." Kane says, pacing the floors of the small living area. "Who knows what else they've got under their belt once they've got their hands on it."

"What do you plan on doing when the second AI is with you?" Clarke asks.

"We'll destroy it." Abby says. "Certainly there's a connection between the two. Maybe if we destroy it, ALIE will malfunction too."

"Destroying the second AI is our only hope." Kane nods.

"If you don't even know completely what these chips are, how are you so sure that destroying the second AI will take it down?" Clarke asks Kane.

"Why else would they be searching so hard for it?"

"I'm going to get Lexa out of here." Clarke says, getting to her feet and making her way to the door. "It's not safe."

"Clarke!" Abby calls for her and the obedient child in her makes her stop. "If you leave with Lexa, they will only follow. They know the AI is with you and they won't let it go so easily."

"Oh, we'll go out fighting if we have to." Clarke smirks.

"And what about us?" Kane says, sighing in disappointment. "What about your people?"

"As long as the Commander is in Arkadia, her safety is my priority. Can you imagine the war Polis will rage on us if their Commander dies here?" Clarke stutters and frowns. She's never once put her people second to anything but things have changed. "I have to keep her safe. I'll find the second AI and then I'll come back for you. For all of you. I'm not going to abandon anyone."

"You can protect her by fighting this battle." Abby says. "If you run away with her, they'll only follow and we'll be stuck here. Who will help you then?"

"We have no choice." Kane says.

"We need a plan." Clarke says, taking her grip away from the door knob.

"We have one but it can only start after we've taken the second AI." Kane replies. They sit around the dining table like a family preparing for guests. Clarke is fidgeting, urging herself to stay still and not to go running down the halls to be with Lexa. Kane is focused, maintaining eye contact with Abby and Clarke. He had been speaking privately with Raven for about a week now. She's recovering from the short circuiting but she's more in control than ever. Her leg pain is worse now. Abby has been treating her with low levels of morphine which makes her sleepy most of the time.

"Here's what Raven and I have planned." Kane begins. "Once the AI is ours, she'll run some tests to see what it's nature is and why it's so special to ALIE. Most likely we'll have to destroy it. When the AI is on our side, ALIE will definitely attack but we won't be running tests here. Our scouts have found an underground bunker some miles off of the camp. It's not too big but it has enough pieces of old technology that Raven can piece together to run her tests. It's not on any map so it will be difficult to find."

"But you said ALIE can detect the AI." Clarke points out.

"She can but obviously she loses touch after a certain distance." Kane nods. "She couldn't detect the AI when Lexa was in Polis. Let's hope the distance is far enough to lose their track."

"Hope." Clarke repeats. "And if it's not enough?"

"We'll be ready to fight." Abby repeats.

"Besides," Kane smiles. "By that time, we would have the AI, the upper hand will be ours and if they come near, we'll destroy it before they reach us."

* * *

Through the dark halls, Clarke moves quietly. It's almost dawn. Kane left soon after he's laid down their plans. Abby tucked her into bed but sleep never came. Her room is larger than her cell in prison but smaller than her quarters in Polis. She tossed and turned but after hours of being drowned in her own worried thoughts, she got to her feet and left her house. She watches out for wandering eyes and ears on the walls. it makes her shudder to think about her own people who are slaves to a machine. The truth is despite this peaceful facade, Arkadia has fallen. They don't who to trust and who to fight. After a few minutes of walking down the halls of the Ark, she finally reaches the engineering lab. Raven's made a nest for herself here. Once in a day Abby comes in to check on her, give her meds and try in vain to ask Raven to go into physical therapy. Gently, she opens the door and peaks in. Raven is sleeping in a hammock hanging under the stars that shine through the ceiling windows.

"Raven?" Clarke whispers, rousing Raven awake. She blinks at her, thinking maybe she's dreaming again, or hallucinating. She tries to sit up but the pain in her leg sparks up and she's defeated.

"Clarke?" Her voice is raspy as though she's hadn't had water in a long time. Clarke walks into the lab and finds a spot on the floor next to Raven's hammock.

"How are you feeling?" Clarke asks, watching the way Raven moves and seeing how her leg falls lifelessly on the hammock. A wince of pain escapes Raven when she turns to Clarke and the hammock swings.

"You're probably wondering why they're letting me live? No one's ever come back from the City of Light."

"City of Light?" Clarke asks, crossing her legs on the floor.

"The chip brings you to the City of Light." Raven sighs. "The magical place where pain and suffering don't exist. Except that it's all in your head. The chip engineers these images in your head and make you believe it's real but it's not. You've just uploaded your consciousness into a computer controlled by ALIE. Everything you feel while you're in the city is just the chip making your brain release hormones. Nothing is real. The more time you spend in that place, the more the chip takes from your consciousness. It made me forget about Finn."

"Why haven't they killed you?"

"I've set up a magnetic field around the lab." Raven winks. "A little invisible force field of piece. They won't come near this place or the chip would short circuit. ALIE can't get to me here. She can't even see me."

"That's ingenious." Clarke smiles.

"She can't see me but it doesn't mean she doesn't know I'm here. It's a cold war, Clarke." Raven says. "Both sides are just waiting for the other to make a move."

"And when will we make ours?"

"As soon as Lexa gives you that second AI."

Raven shifts in her hammock and it swings ever so softly but the pain in her leg makes it feel like her bones are being split open again. She adjusts her morphine drip, making the pain disappear shortly after.

"Kane says once we get the AI we're going to have to process it in a bunker far from camp." Clarke says, looking at Raven's leg.

"That's the plan." She replies sighing as she rests her head on the pillow.

"Raven you could hardly move around this hammock without wincing in pain."

"Don't worry about me, Griffin." Raven smiles. "I'm a fighter, remember? Besides we have the power of medicine."

"How much do you really know?" Clarke asks, feeling a vibe of secrecy. Not many of the things that her mother and Kane have told her piece together perfectly. Something is off and Clarke is sure that Raven has been keeping secrets.

"Nothing gets past that little blond head of yours." Raven smirks, her eyes still closed. "It's a hunch, which is why I didn't feel confident telling Abby or Kane.

Being chipped is like being connected to every single person who's taken the chip too. What one sees, every body else sees. Especially ALIE. In the City of Light, you know everything there is to know. As much as ALIE lets you know anyway. I think I was her star recruit. The best engineer in the camp to look for the AI. I was stupid. I honoured their 'do and don't ask policy' but because of the chip I could feel the intense need of ALIE to get to that AI as if her life, if she can be considered alive, depended on it."

"That's why you think we need to destroy it?" Clarke whispers.

"That's what I thought at first." Raven says opening her eyes and resting the back of her forearm on her head. "But aside from wanting it, I think ALIE is scared of it too."

"But she's looking for it…" Clarke says slowly, her mind finally turning the pieces around and seeing the picture. "She wants to destroy it." she continues, saying it the same time Raven does too.

"If I'm right, that second AI could be our only sure shot to take ALIE down." Raven says.


	8. Polis Meets Arkadia 5

**Polis meets Arkadia 5: Becca Pramheda**

 _The guest quarters must be close_. Clarke thinks, worried that she's lost again in the Ark. Her mind is wrapped in fear, making her judgement cloudy. Last night, Clarke returned to her room after visiting Raven but sleep never came. Her mind was grappling for control to come up with a solution to bring ALIE down because their plan was so flawed. If getting to the bunker is their only hope, why would ALIE, with the entire Arkadian guard on her side, let them go through the gates with the AI that she craves? When the sun peaked through the horizon and the humming of the generators stopped and the solar panels began to move like metallic sunflowers attracted to the light, Clarke kicked the sheets off of the bed and got dressed. Lexa will have answers. Clarke reaches the guest quarters and on the farthest door stands four guards. Two from Trikru and two from Skaikru.

"Lexa and I have a scheduled meeting." Clarke says, hiding her fear behind confidence.

"The Commander is resting." One of the Skaikru guard replies. Clarke looks to the Trikru guard and they step aside, knowing that she is no threat to Lexa.

"It's the morning. She's expecting me." Clarke argues. "You wouldn't want to keep her waiting." There is a shuffling behind the door and a few moments later it opens. Lexa is standing before them in a black robe fastened just below her chest. Her hair is resting on her shoulders and her red cape trails down beside her. Her guard immediately puts their spears forward, not to attack but to block the way of the two Skaikru guards.

"Ambassador, you are late." Lexa addresses Clarke, no doubt hearing her excuse to see her and going along with the lie.

"Forgive me, Commander but the Skaikru guard would not let me pass." She says. The two guards are staring at Lexa but their eyes are glazed over and after a few moments their eyes dart back to Clarke, or rather, at something _behind_ Clarke. Clarke looks behind her but no one is there. Now the Skaikru guards are nodding.

"Forgive us, Commander." The Skaikru guard says, now facing Lexa. "Protocol. For your own safety. No one is to enter your quarters."

"I can keep myself safe." Lexa smiles coldly. "And if Skaikru truly honors their place in my Coalition, I would not need a guard in the first place. Send for Chancellor Kane and tell him I refuse any Skaikru guard at my doorstep while I stay here." Clarke doesn't wait any longer. She pushes through the guards and into the room. Lexa closes the door behind her.

"What's wrong?" Lexa asks immediately. Her hands land on Clarke's hips before she searches her face for answers. Clarke flustered and breathing hard. Her hands wrap around Lexa's wrists and she takes a deep breath, grounding herself in her eyes and making her brain quiet down for a moment to focus on Lexa's face.

"You're not safe here." Clarke whispers. She pulls Lexa away from the doors, away from prying ears. "The chips. They control minds and right now, they're tracking you down because they think you have an AI."

"AI?"

"Artificial intelligence." Clarke says, looking around the room, fearing that it might be bugged. She pulls Lexa into the bathroom and locks the door. "Turn on the water." She orders Lexa and she does. The shower is flowing and for good measure, Clarke opens the sink as well.

"We can talk here." Clarke says with a low voice.

"What's happening?" Lexa frowns. The room begins to steam and it makes it harder for her to look at Clarke without wanting to hold her or kiss her.

"Arkadia has fallen." Clarke begins. "The chips are making the people mindless slaves to a woman they call ALIE. They mean to take over the camp and maybe even Polis. Raven thinks that this second AI, it's a machine, is the only thing that can stop her. The problem is they know it's with you and I know that both of us have no freaking idea about this so either we go out fighting or we look for that AI and get it before they do."

"Clarke, I—" Lexa suddenly jerks back, her hands release Clarke's and reach up behind her neck. A wave of pain overcomes her beginning from the back of her neck and down along her spine. For a moment she loses control of her legs and she's sinking onto the floor of the bathroom. Clarke stumbles to catch her and Lexa falls on her lap. Lexa's fingers wrap around the nape of her neck, struggling to get hold of the pain but it is too much. When she falls to darkness she is greeted by familiar voices speaking in unison. Somewhere far away she can hear Clarke calling for her but this new voice demands her attention.

"Heda." She whispers, realising that she's in the presence of all those before her. In this void, she cannot know which is up or down, left or right. She looks around but there is only the dark. It is strange but the place feels familiar to her.

"Lexa kom Trikru." They begin, their voice getting louder now and Clarke's calls are being drowned and for a moment, Lexa forgets about all of it.

"Help me understand." Lexa pleads. When the voices answer, the sound is clearer, more feminine. Becca Pramheda.

"We can only understand as much as you do." Becca explains. her voice seems to be standing over her, trailing around in an orbit. "Let me in, Lexa. Let me take over."

In the distance of the Dark Place, Lexa can hear someone else. A familiar voice calling out to her, "Lexa, come back! We need you. I need you."

"That's Clarke." Lexa whispers her head turned back, searching for the sound, yearning to give comfort.

"Focus, Heda." Becca demands and Lexa turns her attention back to Pramheda's voice. She feels like a child. A night bleeder once again. Only a few Commanders have been into the Dark Place. It is known that those who come here lose a part of themselves that never returns once they resurface from the darkness.

"I'm not ready." She says, her voice has changed. It's become more youthful, more scared, and more reluctant to succumb to her destiny.

"You're not." Becca says, her voice cold and unsettling. "But you are strong enough and I cannot help you if you do not let me take over." Lexa nods ever so slightly, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. There is a flash of light and the pain that overcomes Lexa is stronger than the one that took her in the Dark Place. It breaks into her mind and forces itself in every crevice of her being until there is no more room for her.

In Clarke's arms, Lexa turns rigid, unmoving against the force of The Spirit. Lexa's eyes open, her green eyes roll up until only the sclera is seen. As Clarke holds on to Lexa, she places a protective hand behind her neck, prepared to turn her sideways to clear her airway but something beneath her skin vibrates and behind to heat up. Clarke gently turns Lexa over, inspecting her neck but finding only a vertical scar under her tattoo.

"Clarke, I—" Lexa chokes as if to continue what she was saying before she fainted. Clarke looks for signs of a seizure but whatever this is, there has been no medical precedent. Suddenly, Lexa falls limp. Clarke fumbles to check her pulse. Under her fingers Lexa's pulse races strong.

"Clarke kom Skaikru." Becca says, her eyes opening and focusing on the girl looking down at her. It feels different to be conscious at this level. Becca tests her ears and her touch. It is strange to back in a place filled with so much metal and to _hear_ the electricity running through such an institution. Lexa's body is stronger than hers ever was, she can feel it in every fiber of the child's muscles.

"Lexa" Clarke exhales, pulling the Commander into her arms. "Are you alright? You fainted and you were convulsing and then you're muscled tensed up. We need to get you to Medical. Can you stand?" Clarke's hands are all over her, steady in the face of an emergency but her eyes and her quivering lips show otherwise.

"Please," Becca clears her throat, she may be in control of Lexa's mind and body but certain emotions of the true Commander cannot be suppressed. Becca reluctantly pulls away from the Ambassador, fighting every urge to stay in her arms as Lexa would want. "Let me introduce myself." Becca says, getting to her feet and waiting for Clarke to stand as well.

"Lexa?" Clarke asks, and steps forward, making the space between them even smaller in the bathroom.

"No." Becca smiles. "My name is Becca. I recognise this place this must be the united stations. I came from Polaris Station, the thirteenth. I travelled back to Earth to become the first Commander."

"I don't understand." Clarke is shaking her head. "How is this possible?"

"Lexa spoke of communicating with her past Commanders." Becca says and Clarke nods. "When a Heda is in perfect control of the Spirit, Commanders can come back to life through the true Commander's body. With permission, of course."

"This shouldn't be possible."

"Ambassador Clarke, details of Lexa's immense power as Heda are not the issue right now." Clarke looks back at Lexa, or rather Becca, willing her mind to wrap around what is happening. "I came here to help Lexa. To help you."

"But if you're here, where is Lexa?" Clarke asks, pleading the question but Becca knows exactly where the true Heda is. She can feel her right now, pushing Becca to take the Sky Girl's hand, to push through the small space between them and to _kiss_ her. Becca has never kissed anyone since Chris, the very man who helped her create what she has come back to destroy. Becca steps back from Clarke. In this state of being, Becca is in control of reason but the true Commander will always have control of emotion. Both have the power to force action but today, reason must take over.

"I am Lexa and Becca at the same time." She tries to explain but she can tell from the way Clarke is looking back at her that this doesn't help. "Take me to our allies."

"It's not that easy." Clarke says, "We're supposed to be pretending that we don't know anything or else ALIE will have a reason to attack."

"Then we have no time to waste." Becca says, leaving the bathroom as Clarke follows behind her. "With the Flame working hard to keep me and Lexa both active, it's protective firewall will be compromised, and when the firewall crashes, they will know exactly where I am."

"Lexa, you're the AI? Titus. Flamekeeper. Reincarnation. You're a machine passed down from the previous Commander? A machine?" The Ambassador's stunned voice pierces through Lexa like a blade. Within Becca, Lexa is hurting.

"No." Becca says, fuelled by Lexa's pain, "No and yes. Ambassador, it is difficult to explain."

"You're just like them. You're every move has been run by algorithms." Clarke eyes dart left to right, her mind twisting and turning the ideas, finally completing the puzzle that is Polis. "Children are chosen to receive the AI but it doesn't matter who wins the Conclave. The AI is programmed to always choose survival. Every decision was made on the basis of survival alone… and Wanheda needed to be part of the Coalition." All of a sudden, Clarke is jolted back into the Mountain. Deserted, used, and angry.

"Tell her the truth!" Lexa screams at Becca. In her mind, Lexa is seething with rage, willing Becca to comfort Clarke. Angry that she knows that Becca has already decided that Clarke's idea of Lexa is not important right now.

"Ste yu daun!" Becca commands her voice mixed with the voices of all the Commanders. _Stay down!_ Lexa has begun to invade consciousness again but the word of Pramheda makes her yield. "In time, you will have the chance to tell her that she is wrong. But now, young Heda, we must choose duty."

"Survival is the only way we can live." Becca replies to Clarke.

"Your agenda for this morning is to meet with the prisoners." Clarke answers coldly. "We can't break composure so you go down to the prisons and I'll meet with Raven. When the sun is down and the curfew is in effect, I'll take you to her."

"Ambassador, we do not have a whole day." Becca explains, angry that she is held helplessly dependent on an Ambassador, "The Flame is working to keep me _and_ Lexa both conscious. To do that it puts the firewall as it's last priority. Once the firewall is gone, ALIE will find me and it will all be over. Convene our allies in the prison if you must keep composure!"

"We'll be vulnerable there." Clarke shakes her head. "I can't lose you. We have another plan."

"Tell me." Becca says.

"Raven said she found a place off camp where we can work. It's far enough for them to lose track of the—of you."

"Then we leave now."

"They'll follow us."

"My guard can protect us." Becca says, eager to get out of the room.

"There's too many of them." Clarke says and then slowly, she smiles "But I think there's something else we can do. Be ready to ride."


	9. Polis Meets Arkadia 6

**Polis meets Arkadia 6: Bellamy Escapes**

Becca moves to turns off the water in the shower and in the sink. Clarke stands in the center of the bathroom in shock. The cape that is fastened on Lexa's shoulder makes her trip. Becca sighs in irritation and unclips the cape and gathers it hastily in her arms.

Somehow, Lexa is right here but the way she moves and the way she maneuvres through the tiny space of the bathroom clerkly shows that this is someone else. Clarke takes a deep breath and opens the bathroom door to put some space between them. Lexa follows close behind her. Becca sets the cape down respectfully on the bed.

"That is the symbol of our honour." Lexa quietly whispers within her, willing her to put the cape back on.

"Our honour rests in our actions, Heda." Becca replies to her.

"Then you must not fail us."

"I won't."

"Hey," Clarke's voice jolts Becca back to attention. Clarke is already standing in the doorway, waiting for her. "It's time to go."

* * *

The prison is situated at the back of the Ark. The sunlight is shadowed by the ring that used to sustain the gravitational pull of the stations so no light but the lamps enter the area. Only two prisoners remain in this prison block but today, Jasper will only release one. His sweaty hand is wrapped around the key card. Bellamy has been briefed of the plan and has agreed to cooperate. Jasper readjusts his cap, making sure the cameras don't have a view of his face. The security jacket is lose around his shoulders. It was stolen from the supply cabinet. It's owner was definitely larger than him. As he passes Bellamy's door, he strikes the bars with his baton, making the sound loud enough the shield the clicking of the locks. The light briefly flashes green, telling him that the locks have been disengaged. Inside, Bellamy is lying down on the bed, pretending to sleep. Once the locks are down, he quickly rises and exits the cell, pushing Jasper out of the way for good measure. Jasper grunts in annoyance, watching from the ground as Bellamy runs away.

 _"Give him ten minutes before you sound the alarm." Raven said, "It will be your shift on that cell block so no other guard will be there. If we don't sound the alarm, they'll catch wind of what we're on to."_

 _"And if it isn't enough?" Jasper asked, his mind, already computing the probabilities._

 _"Bellamy will make it." Clarke said, shutting down anymore conversations doubting Bellamy._

 _"How are we sure, that it will be us who runs after him?" Becca raised her voice. "If ALIE's guards detains him instead of us? What happens if this fails?"_

 _"None of us will let this fail. Besides, I'm still Chancellor." Kane replied confidently. "Only I have the master key that can override the gates. Once you are out, I'm locking the gates for good. No one will get out of camp."_

 _"And no one can go back in." Monty raised an eyebrow. "What if we need to go back for something."_

 _"You can't." Abby said. "You'll be on your own out there."_

 _"And you'll be on your own in here." Clarke looked to Abby, fearing for her mother's safety._

 _"We have enough people left." She said, thinking about Lincoln, Octavia, and the few guard Kane has left. "Besides, we have Raven's little sanctuary made by the magnetic field around the engineering lab."_

Jasper counts the minutes, pretending to be knocked out on the floor for the cameras to see. Bellamy has seven minutes left.

Outside, Clarke, Becca, Raven, and Monty are surrounded by the seven Trikru guards already in their own horses. They pretend to be tending to the animals. Smiling and laughing together as though nothing is wrong. As Clarke counts the minutes in her head, she mounts her horse and the others are quick to note the time. Bellamy has six minutes left. As the minutes go by, one by one, they mount. Not too far from the animal shelter, near the gates, Kane and Abby are in a deep conversation with Miller. Octavia and Lincoln can be spotted just a few meters from the two, ready to detain Miller once Kane breaks for a run to override the gates. On the foot of the gate itself are the three remaining guards loyal to Kane, prepared to create a shield around Kane when he controls the gates. It's a solid plan. Bellamy has two minutes left.

From the corner of her eye, Becca spots him.

His ragged clothes catch the air, his messy hair mattes around the side of his panting face. She looks at him closer, noting the blood on his knuckles and the slight limp he has on his right leg. Just in time, Kane sees him too and everyone moves like clockwork. The Trikru guard and the four ride fast for the gate just as Bellamy slips through the opening. Lincoln detains Miller, and Octavia reaches for the set of knives belted around her ankles and swiftly takes down the Skaikru guard the runs after Bellamy while Abby takes her gun and shoots down the guards on the top of the gate. When all eleven horses have passed the gate, they hear the blaring alarms of the prison.

For a moment Arkadia is frozen, no doubt waiting for orders from ALIE but the Flame is still strong. Becca has willed it to force the firewall back to its original strength to make them invisible by keeping Lexa down. Compromises have to be made and the Commander must always choose her people. Kane gets the gate open and Bellamy escapes through the small gap like a rat. The riders soon follow after him and miraculously, the team is out of Arkadia.

In the Dark Place, Lexa is floating. Flashes of the childhood she's forgotten swims in her thoughts. Her mother, who she hasn't thought about in years is smiling down at her. Her friends, running along side her as they play between the trees. Her scratched knee and the first sight of her black blood, seeping through her thin pants when she falls into a valley of thorns. Her first look at her Commander. Once by one the faces of her fellow natblidas visit her and when they've all left, there is a wisp of that familiar golden hair, a flash of her loving blue eyes, a whisper between bedsheets and then... everything disappears.

Lexa is drowned in the darkness.

Kane gets just enough time to close the gates. The people of the Ark march toward him in an effort to stop him from securing the locks but Kane's fingers are fast. He punches in the override code, pulls the key card out and breaks it in half. Without the key, the gate cannot be opened. Arkadia, for the first time in it's history on the ground, is officially in a state of Civil War. Kane searches the field for his allies, hoping that they'd be running to the engineering lab but Abby is standing a few meters from him. His guard who protected him, have already been taken and cuffed. Octavia and Lincoln as well. They've made the crucial first step but Kane can't help but feel like they've been defeated.

"It's all on the kids now." Kane says.

"They're just kids." Abby frowns.

"Which is why they'll fight harder than we could." Together they raise their arms in surrender as Miller and the guard surround them.

"We set up an elaborate plan to pretend like we were recapturing a prisoner." Abby continues, "It would have been simpler to find the backpack. We were fools to believe they'd buy any of it."

"You know that bag is heavily protected." Kane shakes his head. "This plan will work."

* * *

"Heda, the gates have been closed." Lexa's guard rides faster to gain speed with Becca.

"Capture him." She orders. Without another word, two of her guard ride faster to gain on Bellamy. Becca will not let a prisoner of Polis escape.

"He's not a threat." Clarke calls after Becca but the Commander does not even turn her head.

"Raven, where is this bunker?" Becca asks.

"There's a shortcut through the river but the current is too fast." Raven says.

"Then we go through the river." Becca says, turning her horse to the sound of water.

About three hours into the forrest, Raven stops on an unmarked tree. Becca has gotten increasingly impatient. With Lexa silenced within her, Becca's emotions have dominated the consciousness. Clarke watches her with such distaste. _How can Lexa let this happen?_ Bellamy is slumped on the back of one of the Trikru riders. They've given him a sedative so less man power will be needed to detain him while they travel. Apparently it was a practice in Polis a long time ago and Becca insisted on it. When the rest of the riders catch up with Clarke, Raven and Becca they dismount and tie the horses to the tree.

Raven leads the way a little uphill. After a few minutes of walking, they find a small handle sticking out of the roots of a tree.

"Here we are," Raven says as she bends down to pull the door open. The hinges creak and the sound echoes through the ladder tube that leads underground. "Welcome to our new lab." All four of them start climbing down the ladder. The place smells of spoiled fish. No doubt the canned food left here have turned. One of Lexa's guard comes down with them, the remaining six, together with Bellamy stay outside to defend the door. Inside a thick layer of dust covers every surface of the many computers and tools that were left here. On one of the walls, Raven pulls a switch and the lights go on and the familiar hum of electricity is back to accompany them.

"What now?" Clarke asks. Becca looks to Raven expectantly.

"Now, Monty gives me the chip he's been hiding from Jasper." Raven extends a hand out to Monty and he gives the chip up with a defensive shrug.

"Jaha gave it to him after Abby confiscated the first one." Monty says. The chip looks like candy. It's small enough to be swallowed whole. It glints against the yellow light of the bunker. "I told him Maya wouldn't approve of it and he gave it up. I've been keeping it since, thinking maybe we could use it somehow. I don't know."

Raven slips the chip in her pocket and begins to unload the bag she's packed for the escape. Inside is a portable unit of one of the computers in the engineering lab. A large ball of tangled wires and a voltage regulator. She sets up quickly, connecting the regulator into one of the sockets on the wall and turning on the computer. Becca starts to untangle the wires. Clarke watches in awe as Lexa move around the technology with such ease. She connects the coloured wires faster than Raven.

"I will need access to ALIE." Becca explains and Raven surrenders the chip to her. Becca, with Lexa's hands, expertly clips the chip and it opens. Becca uses the wires to connect the chip onto the computer and waits for the software to respond.

"The wires are too thin" Becca shakes her head, speaking to herself. "The impulses aren't moving fast enough. Did you bring another power source? A battery? Something?"

"No." Raven says. "I'm sorry, it couldn't fit in the bag. I could only choose the essentials."

Becca heaves a sigh a closes her eyes. She sinks down the floor and begins to meditate, as though sitting on the ground will make the computers work faster. Clarke pace around the room. She feels as impatient as Becca but feels less in control. Somehow, being this close to Lexa's body but being unable to be with _her_ makes Clarke feel even more close to the edge than ever. It infuriates her to know that she is yet another pawn in the Commander's struggle to keep her people alive. She feels expendable. Like an object used over and over again. And yet, somewhere within her, Clarke knows that if _she_ were an AI like Lexa is, maybe she would have done the same, after all, that's what they both live for: their people. It's their responsibility over their own that has always bound them together. The very virtue of their understanding for the other rests on the nature of their common purpose as leaders. Clarke takes a deep breath and shrugs the thoughts away. Maybe someday things will be different. Someday she won't have to think of hundreds of other people before she decides to love anyone. Someday Lexa won't have to either.

When the computer finally lights up Lexa's eyes open and she smiles. A series of codes quickly fill the screen. A green mess of foreign language that only Raven, Monty and Becca can understand.

"This is it?" Monty asks, at awe of the code being revealed to them.

"This is the City of Light." Raven smirks. "Not as fancy in reality, are you, ALIE?"

"Our fight continues." Becca whispers, the green light of the screen illuminating her face. Just as she says this, the code on the screen freezes and a singular line that makes sense to Clarke can be read,

W-e—h-a-v-e—y-o-u-r—m-o-t-h-e-r—C-l-a-r-k-e

"They didn't make it to the lab." Clarke says.

"ALIE knows." Becca says and as the words disappear from the code, she feels it. The Flame has dropped the firewall in an attempt to preserve its true Commander. Slowly, Becca can feel Lexa come alive within her once more. Lexa's presence overcomes her accompanied by the strange feeling of being…exposed.

"I had to choose. We needed to stay hidden." Becca explains to Lexa, closing her eyes to make the bridge of communication easier between them.

"I understand, Pramheda." Lexa replies obediently. "What happened to me? I feel—different."

"You're losing yourself." Becca says sadly, "I cannot continue to take over if I wish to save what's left of you. I've been here too long. The Flame will soon force me out to preserve you any longer and it will be too late for you."

"What is left of me…" Lexa echoes and begins to search herself. In her mind, Lexa tries to remember but there is nothing. Dusts of images fly around her and she tries to catch hold of it but she's too slow and the image disappears into the darkness.

"Listen closely, Heda Lexa." Becca says. "The City of Light needs to be destroyed and to do that, you will have to enter it but only I can bring you there. Once you're inside, follow your instinct. The Flame will tell you the way."

"Where will you go?" Lexa asks, somehow she doesn't feel like a Commander. She feels like a child, yearning to be guided, fearing independence just as she did when she first came to Polis.

"I have put you in too much danger." Becca says, remembering suddenly the face of Clarke. The coldness of her voice when she found out the truth about her lover. "There is a reason the Flame does not let this happen. Only when there is no choice left. Our time as Commander are too far apart and the world has changed since I reigned."

"Who is she?" Lexa asks, distracted by the face Becca had just summoned into the consciousness. "I think I know her from somewhere."

"Try to remember, Lexa. Try to remember why we're fighting this war." Becca pleads "I'm taking you to the City of Light now." Becca opens her eyes to see Monty watching over her. Behind her Clarke is packing up a bag, filling it with the few guns they've taken with them.

"They'll chip you Clarke." Raven is arguing with her but Clarke doesn't slow down.

"She's the only family I've got left." Clarke says pushing past Raven to get to the ladder.

"Lexa's still here." Becca says. "She's still here." Clarke stops in her tracks. In the small space of the bunker, she turns slowly to face Becca.

"Tell her this is my decision to survive." She puts the bag over her shoulders and starts climbing up the ladder. Becca lets her go. The door above them opens and closes. Clarke has left. Within her, Becca can feel no emotional response from Lexa. Clarke's words have only confused her but there is not pain or regret or even yearning. Becca focuses on the code, making her fingers move faster to keep pace with her mind. She needs to return control to Lexa before everything she's built in this life is lost to ALIE.

She takes a deep breath and continues onto override the coding on this chip, making it a separate entity from ALIE. "You're refuctoring the code." Raven observes, eager to learn but Becca is coding too fast for her to catch up.

"Yes." Becca replies, not letting her eyes leave the screen. "I built this almost 98 years ago, I can recode it so that it can only be maintained through this system and so it will work for us rather than against us. I am the only one alive who knows the passcode to this wretched invention. After her first invasion, I never thought to teach it to my people. The software has evolved since it was reactivated. It's coding autonomously now, learning from each consciousness it gains. I cannot do much in this physical plane. All I can do is change this particular chip."

"But refuctoring is reversible." Raven shakes her head, commenting on the only part Lexa said that she understood. "What if ALIE notices?"

"She won't." Becca says. "She'll be more concerned that the second AI is in the City of Light to take notice that it's a trojan horse."

"You're going in?" Raven says in shock.

"But she'll be out to destroy you either way." Monty says.

"In the City of Light, there is no death." Becca repeats, sounding eerily just like ALIE. "She can't kill me while I'm in there."

"But she can access the AI _in_ you." Raven points out. Becca is almost done coding.

"The Flame will protect Lexa." She says and then pulls the wires off the chip. The computer screen goes blank. Carefully Becca replaces the cover and takes a deep breath. "Protect this computer unit. I've programmed it to save my codes. Learn it. I won't be able to come back to teach it to you."

"What do you mean?" Raven asks.

"Go back for Clarke." Becca says, ignoring Raven's question. "Lexa would want that, right?"

"You keep speaking like you're not you." Monty says doubtfully.

"Because I am not her. You will know when it is Lexa." Becca smiles. "She is better at being human than I am. I've always let the Flame take me over even though I created it for the exact opposite reason. Lexa, she's something else. She's stronger and wiser than the rest of us Commanders combined. Time is powerful teacher. I am glad to have met you. Go now, take Lexa's guard and protect Clarke."

"I didn't get any word she said, except protect Clarke." Becca hears Monty as they climb up the ladder.

Once she's left alone she looks at the chip, remembering all those years ago in Polaris Station. Enemies have a strange way of coming back to life. "This is the final battle. Guide me, Chris." She takes a deep breath and then puts the chip in her mouth. As the chip touches her tongue, the Flame is quick to adjust.

She closes her eyes to meet Lexa before swallowing the chip.

"I am surrendering control, Heda." She says to Lexa. "Thank you for letting me come back."

"It is my duty." Lexa says and bows before the voice of Pramheda.

"Swallow the chip." Becca says, before fading into the darkness.


	10. Polis Meets Arkadia 7

**Polis meets Arkadia 7: The City of Light**

Lexa opens her eyes and finds herself in a strange room. She can feel the weight of the ground above her and the silence that wraps around the room. She's alone. The chip is sharp and smooth in her mouth. She remembers the final instructions of Pramheda and swallows the chip. When she falls under once more for the second time today, it feels different. Her body is torn apart and put together in an instant and when she lands on her feet and resurfaces, she finds herself on a road. People are milling around in strange clothes, holding small boxes on their hands and bringing it to their ears or pointing it at their faces. There are vehicles on the road, stopping when lights flash red and moving when they flash green. There are buildings taller than her tower that rise above her and cast a shadow over her. The ground is of flat rock and no grass.

"Guide me Becca. Please." Lexa whispers. She ducks into a corner and takes a breath. "What is this place?"

"It is a place of the past." the Commanders answer her. "ALIE finds comfort in the place where she was born."

The sky begins to dawn and the street lamps light the roads. There are fewer people now, all of a sudden. The crowd that was roaming the streets have turned corners and disappeared.

"Do you feel that?" the Commanders ask her, their voices beginning to fade away. Lexa pulls out her swords. Her grip around the handles feel reassuring. Within her, the Flame is in a state of distress. It's being invaded.

"I feel it." Lexa says, looking around her but the people don't seem to notice her.

"ALIE is using you to improve herself." the Commanders whisper to her. "Be quick, Lexa before it takes you too. _Ste yuj, Heda._ " Be strong, Commander.

* * *

Back at the doorsteps of Arkadia, Clarke stands helplessly in front of the locked gates. Her horse nudges the back of her palm, asking her for food. Or maybe it's thirsty. Clarke releases the horse and let's it go. It'll be better off without her. Arkadia is quiet. There is no need to talk when everyone is connected through the chip. Clarke roams the sides of the gate, searching for a weak point she knows doesn't exists so instead she screams.

"ALIE!" Clarke calls. "You want the AI? Come and get it!"

"Clarke!" Raven's voice echoes in the distance between them. Clarke looks back and soon enough, Raven, Monty, and the Trikru guard is riding toward her. They dismount and Raven almost crashes into her. The guard gathers around them. Bellamy is still out, slumped on the back of one of the horses.

"She's the only one I've got left." Clarke cries into Raven's arms.

"Hey." Raven rubs Clarke's back, helping her calm down. "You're not alone in this fight. And we'll get your mom back. We'll get all of them back."

"We might have a way in." Monty says and Raven lets go of Clarke.

"Jasper made it to the lab." Raven smiles.

"The gate is closed and the only key was with Kane." Clarke frowns.

"Hey, we're engineers, remember?" Raven puts an arm over Clarke shoulders. "Jasper just needs a guiding hand."

"Easier said than done." Monty shrugs and hands over the walkie-talkie to Raven. "We don't know half the code in the Ark's mainframe."

"I've been there before." Raven shrugs. "I can get Jasper through enough to unlock the gates."

"Once we open that gate, we'll be outnumbered." Clarke says, looking to the guard and realising that Lexa is not in the party.

"Our part here is to distract them." Monty says, explaining the plan to Clarke. "We need as little people in the City of Light as possible to give Lexa the best chance to end this. By doing that we save everyone."

"Then we better make a lot of noise." Clarke nods.

"Jasper come in." Raven begins to give instructions to Jasper.

"Awful quiet in here without you guys." He replies, her voice mixed in with the static of the radio.

"Turn on my computer and connect it to the mainframe jack of the lab." Raven says. "We need to open the gates."

"I didn't think that was possible." Jasper whispers. "Oh and just so you know, there are guards right outside the lab and they've turned off the power in the camp. I'm running on a regenerator."

"That's why it's so quiet." Clarke frowns, making her way to the boundary of the gates again. Lexa's guards follow her, staying true to the orders of Pramheda.

"How much time?" Raven asks.

"An hour at most." Jasper says. "The computer is connected to the mainframe."

"Once the power is out, the forcefield will disappear." Monty says over Raven's shoulder.

"Jasper you need to focus on my every instruction." Raven says. "Sign in using Abby's name. Password is 03092087. Chancellors have permanent access, it's a hole in their coding."

Clarke tunes them out, grappling to gain control of the events of the day. She sits by a trunk of a tree and lays out the guns she's taken with her. Only three, each with a single round of ammo. With these odds, there is now way they will get out on top. When Jasper opens that door, she will have to surrender to save everyone out here and everyone they've left in there. She looks back at how far they've gone. When they landed here the only thing that connected them to the Ark were their bracelets. Now everyone they've grown up with are trapped in there as slaves.

"Bracelets." Clarke whispers to herself, "Raven what if we shirt circuit the whole camp instead?"

"What?" Monty calls to Clarke. Raven is too busy to listen to anything else bust Jasper. Coding is difficult through someone else's eyes and hands. Clarke staggers to her feet and rushes over to them. Lexa's guard tails behind Clarke as if danger can present itself in the few meters that she crosses to meet Monty.

"Raven was able to get the chip out using the bracelets." Clarke looks at Monty willing him to catch up to her plan. "If we short circuit every chip in camp, Lexa won't have enemies in the City of Light and we've freed everyone else. Is there a way?" Monty doesn't answer. "Monty! Is there a way!"

"We could." He mumbles. "But we'd have to be connected to ALIE somehow."

"The chips are obviously working through some wireless network." Clarke thinks.

"The backpack!" Monty says "If we connect the backpack to the computer Jasper is using to code through the Ark's mainframe, we can use it to shut down the chips in camp."

"Raven are you listening to this?" Clarke looks to Raven and as she does the gates begin to creak. "No it's too soon we need a plan to get to that backpack."

"One lock set down!" Raven throws a fist in the air. "Right, Jasper do that again. There are two more sets."

"No Jasper wait!" Clarke shouts. "Raven, we need time to plan."

"What's the hold up?" Raven puts a hand on her hip.

"We need a plan to get Jaha's backpack." Monty says. "If we can get access to it's codes, we can shut down the chips in camp and leave Lexa to finish the City of Light."

"You heard her back in that bunker." Raven shakes her head. "Only she knows the coding language of that thing."

"Tell Jasper to get ready to fight. The generators will be losing power soon." Clarke says. "Tell him to tell the guards that I'm ready to surrender."

"What's your plan once they take you in?" Raven says.

"I'm going to make some noise." Clarke says and then turns to the Trikru guard. "What's the nearest clan to Arkadia?"

"Trishanakru." They answer.

"How long is the ride?"

"Less than an hour if we do not rest the horses."

"Ambassador Golind will not be happy with this. Or maybe he will." Clarke says to herself. "Ask them to assemble an army that will race down to Arkadia to enforce a blockade."

"Wanheda?" Tosha dismounts his horse and bows. "To enforce a clan against another is to dishonour the Coalition."

"I am trying to protect Lexa's Coalition." Clarke says. "I'm trying to protect you and save us at the same time. Lexa would have agreed to this."

"And if your people cross the blockade?" Vykris asks.

"Hold them as prisoners."

"Clarke you can't be serious." Raven pulls on her shoulder but Clarke shrugs her off.

"What about the prisoner?" Tosha nods to Bellamy, still unconscious on his horse.

"Leave him here." Clarke says. "He won't be harmed, and he won't escape with the blockade in effect."

"This can't end well." Monty shakes his head.

"Once Trishanakru has secured the blockade, enter the camp and look for the backpack." Clarke continues, ignoring the two who are supposed to be on her side. "Bring it to Raven and Monty and then leave. Do not get caught in there. Once you're out, ride back to Lexa and protect her." When she says this, all the guards mount their horses and speed away from them, riding east toward the nearest clan.

"And where will you be?" Raven asks, watching as the horses disappear into the forrest.

"I'll be with Jaha." She answers. "I'll negotiate as much as I can but you guys have to go on if they chip me."

"Everything is such a mess." Raven sighs in defeat. "How did we get here?"

"I don't know." Clarke says. "But we have to fight. We didn't return to the ground just to end up as slaves. And we can't let the other clans become slaves either."

"When she chips you, try to think about the most important thing in your life and hold on to it as hard as you can." Raven is gripping Clarke's arms, knowing her future and understanding her sacrifice. "Don't let it make you forget what's important."

"I'm leaving everything to you." Clarke says, looking over to Monty as well. "Everyone is depending on both of you and Jasper. Show them delinquents are not disposable."

"Jasper, come in." Monty says

"Hey Monts." Jasper answers. "The guards are waiting by the gate for Clarke. Do you have a plan?"

"Something like that." Monty says. Clarke nods to him, signaling for the gates to be opened. "Open the gates, dude." Monty hands the radio to Clarke. Raven has already gathered their things. The guards of Lexa are long gone. Monty and Raven hide themselves some meters away from camp, waiting until the coast is clear to enter after they've taken Clarke. When the remaining lock sets are opened, Clarke is standing alone. Inside, she sees her people on their knees, their palms resting on their laps, their eyes closed as if in prayer. Only the guard is not in the City.

* * *

Lexa runs along the empty streets. Time has a strange way of showing itself here. Lexa can't be sure how long she's been in here. It is so easy to get lost, or to lose yourself in this city. The sun has set and the moon is well up in the sky. A few people, all Skaikru by the looks of them, are scattered around the City, minding their own business but once in a while, when the Flame flickers within her, their eyes dart to her direction. Lexa breaks into a sprint, turning in every corner whenever the Flame tells her to.

"What a strange place." Lexa thinks to herself. The people are now watching her. Lexa is prepared to fight, ready to strike any man who comes between her and her purpose in this city. But the people only look, as if they are trying to learn her face, her movements, predict her decisions. Lexa takes a deep breath, centering herself back into Faith in the Spirit. _I am protected. With the Spirit of the Commanders I am strong enough to conquer this._ She has repeated this to herself countless times in the past. It's become her mantra, her source of a sense of security and confidence. When she opens her eyes, the people have multiplied, all staring at her, and moving as she moves. The Flame's protection has fallen and the fight has begun. Lexa wields her swords and begins to weave through the army. She strikes them down, two at a time, sometimes three but there is so many of them. In the distance she hears a familiar call to arms and all of a sudden, her Commanders appear before her. They surround her and together they clear the army.

"Go, Lexa!" A familiar voice commands her, "Follow the Flame and end this! Your fight is not over!" She looks to the source of the voice and she finds him, her Commander. Her teacher, her father. She slips away from battle, leaving her Commanders behind to fight for her so she can win the war. She doesn't stop running until the Flame has told her.

"Is it here?" She pants, calling out to Becca to return and answer her. She's reached a small building, perhaps only three or four floors high. It is dwarfed by the large skyscrapers around it, and it looks mediocre at best. A treasure hiding in plane sight. "Try to remember, Lexa. Try to remember who we're fighting for." There is a faint whisper of Becca's voice, Lexa strains to hear her but someone else is speaking to her now.

"Stop." a small figure emerges from the building. A woman. Gold hair, glinting even in the moonlight, fair skin, and a familiar smirk on her lips. "You don't have to do this we can all be together here."

"I do have to do this. I can't let my people be slaves to a mislead piece of technology that doesn't understand what it is to be human." She says coldly, her hands flexing around the grip of her swords. "Step away, let met end this."

"I can't, Lexa." Something in her voice changes, it cracks and it pleads. Somehow, the coldness disappears and desperation replaces it. A loud clatter of metal strikes the ground as a surge passes through Lexa. Suddenly, the woman standing in her way has a name.

Clarke kom Skaikru.

In her mind, the pieces of what she lost in the Dark Place find their way back into her consciousness. How could she have forgotten those kind eyes, and that ambitious heart? How could she have forgotten that voice? Those hands? This love? Every cell in her body feels weighed by the decision she has to make. "Becca, please, tell me it is safe? That even if I strike her down, I will still have her when I wake and all of this is over."

"ALIE has been using us to upgrade herself." The Commanders answer her. "We can't be sure if we'll have her but sometimes we have to lose a battle to win the war."

"NO!" Lexa growls, unwilling to bow to defeat, to lose Clarke at the expense of her people. Within her, the Commanders are in distress. Never has a Heda put her people second to anything before. "She _is_ my people." Lexa hisses, feeling the distaste of her Commanders for the way she feels about killing the one she loves.

 _I can't do this. I can't make her suffer for me. I can't hurt her again because I need to protect someone else._

You are Heda. This is your duty.

 _This is my curse._

Lexa kneels before Clarke and picks up her swords. The blades feel heavier. Somehow her weapons don't make her feel strong. She looks back at Clarke and there is a wave of regret that washes over her. _I should have told her sooner. She deserves to know the truth. I love her._ The Commanders have gone silent within her and now, she is truly alone. Lexa takes a deep breath and focuses on Clarke's neck, remembering the way it felt to hold her there and bring her lips to hers. Remembering how it feels to bury her face there in an embrace when night wouldn't let her sleep. Remembering how a quick and clean strike to the neck is the fastest, most painless way to die by the edge of a blade.

 _Painless? Whatever happens after this, the only thing that will be left is pain. I thought the City of Light promised that there would be no pain?_

 _Maybe the Flame is wrong. Maybe Clarke will survive this and when I strike her down, she will wake on the other side, unharmed. Maybe I'll fail and for the sake of my sanity, I will accept that if only to save her._

 _But failure does not run in her nightblood._

Lexa steals herself from her thoughts and takes one, two, three, four, five quick steps toward Clarke. At the very last second, she slides to the right, anticipating that Clarke would face her head on. While she's confused, Lexa delivers the killing blow. A spray of red comes between them and for a moment, their eyes meet, green and blue. For a moment, they're not in the City of Light. For a moment they find home. Clarke falls and Lexa let's go of her swords to catch her.

"Clarke?" Lexa looks down at her as if some part of her thought that maybe her blades had missed. The blood pools from her neck and down to her chest. "Clarke, I'm coming back for you. I promise." Clarke struggles to say something but only blood bubbles out from her mouth. There is a painful twist in Lexa's throat, and when she takes a deep breath, tears run down her face. When Clarke closes her eyes, Lexa lays her head down gently on the ground.

She rises to her feet. Just then, a swarm of people come from all corners of the streets. Lexa bears her weapons and stands over Clarke to protect what's left of her. The pain within her has morphed into a whirlwind of rage, yearning for something to hurt, to transfer the pain she's feeling to something else or someone else. She prepares herself for battle. She is alone. Her Commanders have gone, and within her, the Flame is dying.

As the people get closer, the skies begin to darken. When Lexa looks up, she finds birds.

Ravens. Hundreds, then thousands of them.

Their wings shield the sunlight from passing through and as though the people were struck by lightning, they stop in their tracks. One by one they begin to disappear. Lexa watches as the crowd begins to thin. She looks down at her feet and finds that even Clarke has disappeared as well.

"Go now." She hears Becca's faint voice order her. "Raven has deactivated the backpack. Arkadia is free but the fight is not over." Lexa enters the building and closes the door behind her.

A lady in red steps out from the shadows, between them is a computer with a large control panel.

"Impressive." The woman looks at Lexa, her face a striking copy of Becca Pramheda. "I would have thought you would fail to get through my last firewall."

"You may have begun to touch the tip of what it means to be human but humanity is much more complex." Becca's voice comes up behind Lexa and sure enough she walks forward, facing the red woman as well. This is the true Becca, only that she isn't adorned with the clothes of a Commander. She's wearing something Skaikru would wear. A lose shirt, offering no protection at all, and a pair of pants. "Sacrifice is a fickle thing, one that only humans can show value for. I should have taught you more."

"Pramheda, what is this?" Lexa speaks up.

"This, Heda." Becca extends her hand to the red woman, as if to welcome her. "Is ALIE, she's come here to convince you to abandon your mission."

"This is not a negotiation." Lexa seethes with anger, the image of Clarke dying in her arms branded in her mind as though it is daring her to let Clarke die in vain. _Tell me quickly how to end this, Pramheda._ Lexa speaks in her mind, knowing that even if Becca is now separate from her, they are still connected through the Flame. She does as she is told, passing through ALIE and placing her hands on the control panel. She searches for the red button and encodes the very words that gives life to the Flame.

"You will regret this." ALIE speaks once more, "There is a reason the human race must be uploaded into my system."

"I regret many things." Lexa begins. "But this is not one of those things."

 _Ascende superius._

* * *

"Heda?" The voice of Vykris echoes through the bunker. When Lexa opens her eyes, she is surrounded by her loyal guard, looking at her with such pride.

"Vykris." Lexa says, struggling to her feet but the fight has taken her strength. "Take me to Arkadia."

"Commander, it is not safe there." Tosha says, quickly getting down on his knees to help Lexa get up. His arms pull her up and Lexa leans onto him for support. "We have called onto Trishanakru to enforce a blockade."

"What?" Lexa gasps. "Who ordered this?"

"Clarke." Rey says. She pulls out a canteen of water from her belt and offers it to the Commander. Lexa takes it gratefully, drinking until there is nothing left in the bottle.

"Take me to her now." Lexa says and her guards don't wait another second. When they exit the bunker the moon is shining bright in the sky.

"How long was the fight?" Lexa asks her people as they help her onto a horse.

"Two moons, Heda." Rey answers.

"Time has a strange way of existing in that City." Lexa whispers, wondering what awaits her in Arkadia.


	11. Polis Meets Arkadia 8

**Polis meets Arkadia 8: Rest**

In Arkadia, the people begin to stir. Raven, Monty, and Jasper have succeeded. One by one they rise from ALIE's hands and look back at each other with such confusion and pain. The chips within their necks have short circuited. As they rise from the City there is a moment of bliss, freedom, and relief, but just for a while because soon a blinding headache will thunder through each of them. A firework of pain to celebrate that they are no longer slaves.

"Clarke!" Abby's voice echoes through the cafeteria. Clarke is sprawled on the ground, her right leg bleeding into her pants. Parts of the wound has already dried, the fibers of her clothes, merging into her skin. She tries to stand but the pain makes her mind whirl so she grips onto her leg, putting pressure on the wound.

At the sight of her mother, Clarke begins to cry. Soon, Abby's arms envelop her. "They were going to kill you, Mom. I had to take the chip. I had to." She looks over to the centre of the cafeteria and there hangs a thick rope. it's noose loosely tied. A vision of her mother hanging from that rope burns in her eyes. Abby begins to rip a part of her shirt to make a tourniquet.

"Shh." Abby says trying to calm her child, making her look away from the noose. "Look at what they did to you. It's not your fault. We did what we had to do."

"I should have thought of some other way." Clarke says, remembering the feeling of how the chip took her over, how different it was to how she expected. It wasn't anything like freedom at all. It was like falling, the feeling feels good because at some point you feel like your flying but somewhere inside you, in a small place where you're still in control, you know the chip is lying to you and you won't be able to do anything to help yourself from crashing.

Clarke pulls away from her mother. The bruises around her neck from being strangled have turned a deep violet and green color. The wounds on her legs and arms have clotted and puss has begun to form. "It's infected." Clarke says. "We need to get you cleaned up."

"I'm alright." Abby says, "When did they cut you?" Abby fumbles to stop the bleeding. The wound looks so fresh.

"I don't remember." Clarke croaks, "How long were we out?"

"I don't know." Her mother begins to press on the wound, tearing away another piece of her shirt to tie over the gash and stop the blood from leaving her body.

"Is it over?" Clarke asks her, she looks around and sees the others, just now waking and finding their loved ones. She smiles despite the pain in her leg but then, an even greater pain comes over her. Her mind is pounding and her vision starts to blur. Her hands grapple for support. Abby catches her before her head hits the floor and into the darkness Clarke falls.

* * *

"How is she?" A voice whispers. Clarke begins to find herself. "How long has she been like this?"

"Close to 24 hours, Commander. She needs rest but she'll be fine."

"I thought I killed her."

"On the contrary. You saved her, Commander. You saved us all." She hears curtains being pulled through its rail and then silence. Someone is still in the room, pacing. The footsteps thunder around the hospital room. The sound moves around the bed over and over and over.

Little by little Clarke tests her body. Move your toes? A striking pain stings from her right leg. Your fingers? Weak but good. Your voice?

"Help." A dry voice escapes her. Slowly, she struggles to open her eyes, the blinding light of the ward greeting her in response. She tests her ears and the room is filled with steady beeping sounds. Someone leans over her and for a moment a shadow is casted over her and her eyes are slow to adjust. A familiar set of green eyes look down at her with such sadness.

"Lexa?" Clarke struggles to get up, but her muscles are weak. Before her, the face of Lexa spins and the room begins to revolve around her. Clarke closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, willing her mind to calm down. She remembers the pain that took her down and with the medication, it is replaced by this muddled state. Lexa places a gentle but unsure hand on her shoulder as though a heavier touch might make Clarke shatter. The warmth of her palm settles down on Clarke's skin, making her melt and realise how cold she's been feeling. She begins to shiver.

"How do you feel." Lexa asks her, gently resting the back of her palm on Clarke's cheek. Clarke opens her eyes. The spinning has slowed slightly. Focusing on Lexa's eyes makes it easier to stay still.

"Thirsty. Cold."

"I think ALIE made it worse for the people who were too special to let go," Raven's voice catches her attention. Raven sweeps in the room with her crutch. Lexa's hand retracts from Clarke's face as though she was just burned. "Clarke! Abby, she's awake!" Raven smiles at her, moving as fast as she can to the side of her bed.

"Barely." Clarke whispers and looks over to her.

"Jaha's still out cold." Raven shrugs. "I think he's got it worse. Speaking of ALIE, I found sets of coordinates in her—"

"Raven, we should let her rest." Abby cuts her off as she enters the room and brings a cup of water to Clarke's mouth, "Just so you know, Jaha's vitals are stable. Another night under should do the trick. Most of us who were chipped suffered minor migraines, nothing as severe as yours but you'll pull through. What I'm worried about is that leg. We'll need to keep an eye on that."

"I can teach you a few tricks." Raven says, stomping her crutch on the hospital floor before taking her exit queue.

"Raven." Suddenly, Lexa's voice echoes through the room. Raven looks back at the Commander, struggling to keep balance on her crutch, "Thank you for your help. You, and Monty, and Jasper. I couldn't have succeeded in the City of Light without any of you. It is an honour to have had you on my side."

"Hey, it was Clarke's idea. Besides destroying the backpack wasn't the endgame. ALIE would have found another way to resurface if you didn't destroy her from the inside." Raven smiles and shrugs. "It took me some time to realize that yours was the right side. I'll always fight with you."

"Thank you." Lexa says. "Polis will not forget your service." Raven gives her an awkward bow before leaving and Lexa nods to her, a soft smile on her lips.

"Oh baby." Abby smiles at Clarke, she place the cup on the bedside table and gently envelops her daughter in an embrace. "How are you feeling?"

"Dizzy." Clarke croaks. "I think it's the pain meds."

"We'll run a test. You're running a fever." Abby says, pulling away from Clarke and looking at her so intently, "Are you hungry? Do you need anything? More water?"

"I feel alright, Mom." Clarke smiles at her and then looks over to Lexa. She's standing beside the bed, her eyes glued on Clarke. She's been silent all this time but Clarke knows that there is much to say. "Give us some room?"

Abby plants a kiss on Clarke's forehead and gives her a weak smile. "You should be resting."

"I am resting." She says, remembering years and years ago back in the Ark when she was just a child. Her mother must be remembering the same thing. A small girl at six, being rushed to the hospital for oxygen deprivation. Their world has come such a long way and yet they find themselves here again. "I'll be alright, Mom. The worst is over."

When Abby leaves, she pulls the curtain around Clarke's hospital bed to give them privacy. Clarke looks over to Lexa. She's been beaten down over and over again. Her hair falls flat on her shoulders. The paint on her face has trickled down to her jaw and she stands with her shoulders slumped as though she's lost everything and is tired of fighting. Clarke rises and forces her muscles to bring her to a sitting position. She rests her hands on her lap and sees blood has caked under her nails. There are bruises all over her forearm from the struggle from the guards that held her down as they forced her mother into a noose. She pulls the blanket away from her legs and finds them heavily packed with gauze. Lexa's eyes follow the trail of bruises on her arms and the wounds on her leg, each one making her weaker as though the pain it caused Clarke is being transferred to her. Instinctively, Lexa's hands travel up and down Clarke's arms, trailing down the purples mess and planting a soft kiss on each mark.

"Is it really you?" Clarke whispers, her voice cracking.

"It's me, Clarke." Lexa tells her. "I'm so sorry." She's kneeling by the side of Clarke's bed, holding her arm gently against her lips and looking up to her with such a pained expression. "Please tell me you don't remember anything." Lexa pleads. The City may have been destroyed but the wounds it has inflicted on every person who stepped in it is as real as ever. The pain that was taken was returned to them in other forms; regret, shame, fear, and even doubt.

"I remember you looking down at me and promising that you'll come back for me. And now, you're here." Clarke smiles briefly before a frown quickly replaces it as soon as her memory jogs. "I'm sorry too. I said some hurtful things to you. Or to Becca. It doesn't matter who you were. I should have never doubted you or judged you for the decisions you had to make. I shouldn't have been angry with you in the first place. You don't deserve that, especially not from me and I just want you to know that there isn't an ounce of doubt in my heart about who I am to you and what you mean to me and I wanted you to know, even then in the City of Light, that I—" Lexa's arms wrap around Clarke, unable to wait to feel her in her arms any longer. She kisses her cheeks profusely, tasting the salt of her tears and marvelling at the thought that this is real. Lexa pulls away from Clarke, leaving her arms to rest gently on her shoulders, wanting to look at her eyes.

Those loving blue eyes.

This time, it's Clarke who pushes past the distance between them and kisses her full on the lips. Lexa smiles and kisses her back, remembering that day in the cave where they last kissed only this time it's different. There is something very graceful in the way that they move together. Clarke's hands graze the side of Lexa's neck before finding it's home on the line of her jaw, pulling her ever so slightly deeper into the kiss. Lexa's hands are more protective, knowing well that Clarke is in pain and maybe touching her too much can't feel good. Her arms wrap around Clarke's shoulders in an embrace. Her hands land softly on the small of her back before she meets Clarke's hand on her jaw to feel her pulse against her finger and to reassure herself that this is real. When they part to breathe, Lexa is in tears, "I am never leaving you again."

"Ai hod yu in." Clarke whispers to her.

"I love you too." Lexa smiles and Clarke pulls her down on the bed and sinks into her embrace, for a moment forgetting about the pain in her head or that in her arms. Clarke rests her head on Lexa's chest, listening closely to her heartbeat, remembering all the times she's slept in her arms like this. She looks up to Lexa and she finds her eyes closed, a smile on her lips.


	12. Ambassador No More 1

**AMBASSADOR NO MORE**

Chapter 1

 **Duty**

"Are they back?" Clarke struggles to catch her breath. She hurried into Titus' office when the sound of the drums began to sound. Titus, startled by her sudden presence drops a scroll of parchment. He bends to pick it up, taking his sweet time before answering the Ambassador. News of the Commander and the Natblias' return are not good. The children have been wounded badly. Their Commander, disabled with a deep gash on her arms when the pauna attacked.

"Titus." Clarke pleads. "Where are they?"

"The Commander and the children are in the healers' tents." Titus sighs. Without another word Clarke turn and runs to the elevator.

"I won't be able to follow, Clarke! When the Commander is absent, I am bound to stay in the tower to fill her seat." Titus calls after her. She pauses and makes the elevator wait. "Please take care of them."

"I will." When she is at the foot of the tower she realises how far the healers' tents are. If something should happen to anyone in the tower, how long before help will arrive? Clarke runs through the market and through the alleys. In the clearing between the buildings stand the tents of the healers. Clarke struggles to get wind into her lungs. Healers are running from tent to tent, shouting out orders and requests for water, for bandages, even extra blankets. As a healer runs past her Clarke pulls his arm and makes him stop.

"Where is Lexa?" She gasps and the healer points to largest of the tents.

When she enters, there is a whirlwind of motion. In the centre, lies Lexa. Her eyes are open, darting from one healer to another. The doctors around her are preparing needles and gauze. On her right arm is a very large, very deep gash. Blood is flowing out from her arm and in the few moments that Clarke is there, examining the situation, Lexa's completion has already begun to fade.

"She's not sedated." Clarke says and suddenly, everyone stops to look at her. "She's not sedated!"

"Nightblood does not react well with pain killers, Ambassador." The doctor replies, irritated at the disturbance. "Please, leave the tent, we must attend to the Commander."

"She can stay." Lexa's strained voice rings around the room. As Clarke approaches the table, she finds a large pool of slick black blood on the ground. Swatches of black stained cloth pile over the healers' table.

"You're losing a lot of blood." Clarke rests her hand on Lexa's forehead. Her skin is burning.

"Have you checked for blood poisoning?" She asks the doctors but they only click their tongues. He passes a needles through a flame, no doubt an attempt to sterilise it before she stitches Lexa's wound closed.

"The blades were all laced with poison." The doctor said as though it were the simplest fact that Clarke ought to know. "It's for the children's protection when they are outside of Polis gates. We will treat the poisoning later. Now it is the wound that we must attend to."

"You're going to be fine. I won't let them fail." Clarke looks at Lexa, her green eyes straining against the pain in her arm and the burning of the poison within her.

The doctors begin to stitch her up. Lexa's grip on Clarke's hand tightens as the doctor pulls the needles through her skin and out over and over again. "Clarke?" Lexa gasps. "Can you check on the children? They are in the tents next to mine. Check on them and come back."

"I should stay with you." Clarke says, not wanting to leave her.

"No. Please, Clarke." Lexa pleads. The doctor is halfway through the wound and despite her request, Lexa is gripping on Clarke's hands even tighter now. Clarke's blood vessels begin to constrict and the pain begins to well in her finger tips. "Aden. He got hurt most. Please, Clarke I need to know they're alive."

"Okay." Clarke sighs. "Okay." Lexa lets go of her hand and grips onto the sides of the table instead. Her eyes follow Clarke as she weaves through the doctors and healers to get out of the tent.

Outside, it has begun to drizzle slightly. Clarke enters the nearest tent next to Lexa's and finds healers tending quietly to two Natblidas. Clarke approaches the beds and finds Kyro and Helem, the twin Natblidas of Lexa. The boy and the girl look to her as she comes near.

"Heda?" They ask at the same time.

"She's getting help." Clarke says, unwilling to tell the whole truth. The children look well. There are no visible wounds. When Clarke touches their hands, their temperature is in the normal ranges. "How do you feel?"

"Tired." Kyro answers. "When can we see her?"

"Make sure they both get fluids." Clarke reminds the healers before looking back to Kyro and Helem. Clarke checks their limbs to make sure there are no broken bones. There are deep bruises but their bones are strong.

"Is she alright?" Helem asks, struggling to prop herself up on her elbows. "I saw her arm. It was bleeding very bad. I think she might have been hit by one of our blades when the pauna attacked."

"What happened out there, Helem?" Clarke kneels between their beds, searching their eyes for answers.

"We were training in the clearing near a river. We weren't too far from the center of the capital." She answers Clarke, her black hair matted against her temples. "Aden found a cub; a small pauna by the edge of the water as we were taking a drink break."

"We didn't see the mother approach." Kyro continues. "But Lexa did. She was sparing with Juli when the pauna prepared to attack Aden. Lexa shielded him but not before Juli's blade got to her. Aden was mangled. We tried our best, we really did but the beast was too strong and we were caught off guard. The cub had escaped but our guards already killed the mother."

"We tried to help but we failed." Helem frowns and looks away from Clarke.

"Hey." Clarke smiles. "This isn't your fault. I know it feels like it is but you can't blame yourself for the things you can't control."

"How is she?" Helem keeps asking, unable to console her thoughts that linger on the face of her Commander writhing in pain when the blade took her down and as the pauna kicked her aside to get to Aden.

"She's getting stitched up." Clarke tells them. "She's awake and she's worrying about all of you." A shriek pierces through the air. It's coming from another tent not too far from theirs. Clarke gets to her feet, knowing the familiar voice of the shouting. Aden is in pain.

"I need to go check on your brother." Clarke says quickly to Kyro and Helem. She leaves the tent and follows the sound of Aden's voice.

In his tent, the healers are struggling to keep him still. Clarke follows the trail of blood pooling on the floor. Aden's stomach is split open. His night blood pooling over his belly before it spills over to table and onto the ground. For a moment Clarke is frozen. She watches as the doctors dig their hands into Aden's body, looking for the source of the bleeding but with a mangled body like this, every piece of him must be damaged. Aden shrieks in pain with every move they make in his body cavity. The healers are struggling to keep him steady but the boy is strong. Clarke watches as the blood drains from Aden's face, leaving his lips a sickly color of gray. His eyes have begun to roll behind his head. His limbs go weak and his head lands with a thud on the pillows of the bed.

"Good." The doctors say, thankful for the trauma that will keep him still while they work to stop the bleeding.

"Is he…" Clarke says but she can't bring herself to ask.

"He's in critical condition." The doctor says. "We need to pack this wound."

As Clarke gets closer to the bed, the clearer Aden's state becomes. Deep wounds in the shape of talons mark his arms and his cheeks. The mess of organs swimming in his black blood make her knees feel weak. She has never seen anything like this. The gloved hands of the doctors move fast. Pouring some thick white liquid over the wounds that bleed on and on in Aden's belly. After a moment. the white liquid thickens even more, covering the source of bleeding and making the scene more controllable. Aden has gone completely limp.

"What is that?" Clarke asks.

"Sap from a mutated gum tree that we grow for healing purposes such as this." The doctor says. "It is a temporary solution but for now it is the quickest one we can give him."

"Does it dissolve?" Clarke says, wondering how the liquid will affect Aden once the doctors have sewed up his stomach.

"No. It is meant for external use." He answers her, his eyes focused on the needle he is sterilising. "When he is stronger, we will replace them with stitches."

"But when will that be?" Clarke goes around the bed, stopping for a moment to sweep away the blond hair from Aden's closed eyes. "Nightbleeders can't take pain killers. When its time to remove the sap, he'll have to be awake."

"We will wait as long as we can to give him time to get stronger."

"You're going to make him go through this twice?" Clarke asks.

"That is the only way."

"Why not just stitch him up now?" Clarke puts a hand over the doctor's, stopping him from beginning the first stitch. At that moment, Aden begins to whimper, waking from the blackout that the pain had brought him.

"Look at him." The doctor pulls his hand away from Clarke's. "He's stirring. We don't have time to fix him now."

"I know someone who might." Clarke says, letting the doctor stitch Aden's skin together. Clarke kneels beside his bed, watching his chest rise and fall with his jagged breathing. Sweat has begun to trail from his temples and soak his pillows. When he starts to wake, Clarke takes his hand in hers, allowing him to grip it as the pain returns. His light blue eyes find hers and there is fear in the way that his eyes flutter from one part of Clarke's face to another.

"Clarke?" He croaks.

"I'm here." She says as she wipes away the sweat from his cheeks. "I'm going to bring the best doctors from Arkadia to help you get better."

"It hurts." Aden whimpers as the needle pulls his skin together.

"I know." Clarke whispers. "It will all be over in a while."

"Heda." Aden pants. "Is she…"

"She's going to be alright." Clarke tells him.

"I shouldn't have come near the cub." Aden continues, his breathing even shorter now and his grip on Clarke's hand tighter than ever. "I should have known better. She taught me to be better."

"This isn't your fault, Aden." Clarke says.

"She was hurt." He says and takes a deep breath. The doctor is finally done.

"Lexa will be fine." Clarke says. "She's more worried about you so focus all of your energy on staying alive."

"Tell her" He struggles for air, "Tell her I'm sorry." Aden whispers before his eyes close and his breathing starts to slow. His hands release Clarke's and in a few moments, he's soundly sleeping. Taken down once again by the fight against the pain and trauma.

"Let him sleep." The doctor says behind Clarke as she checks for Aden's pulse. It's weak but it's there. "It will help him recover." The doctor continues.

"Don't leave his side." Clarke says, not turning to look at the doctor but keeping her eyes on Aden. "I'm ordering you to stay here to watch over him."

"I have other patients, Ambassador." The doctor says. When Clarke doesn't answer he sighs and clears his throat. "I will stay." He says and only then does Clarke leave the tent.

When Clarke reaches Lexa's tent, she finds her natblida's patiently waiting by the door. They lean on each other. Other's have slings across their chest. Most have bandages in various areas of their body. Some, the lucky ones, are well and strong, leaving only with a few bruises here and there. The first to stand is Reia, the eldest. She is only lightly wounded, her eye is bruised leaving her with a dark spot on her face.

"The doctors wouldn't let us enter." She says to Clarke. "They said she's sleeping but we need to see her."

"Please, Ambassador Clarke." Another one, Cal, stands next to Reia. "We need to be with her. We need to apologise."

Clarke watches as the children struggle to get to their feet. Her medical training tells her that the right move would be to get these wounded and healing children back to their beds but a part of her knows that these children will crawl their way back to Lexa no matter how painful it is for them. Clarke leads the way into the tent. Inside the doctors have left but some of the healers have stayed.

"Can we have the room?" Clarke asks the healers. The children stand behind Clarke, small but with still a lot of fight left in them.

"Do not be too noisy." The healers remind them. "Heda needs rest." They leave without another word and the children surround Lexa as she sleeps. Clarke sits on one of the chairs and watches as the children's eyes move from one wound to another. The youngest of the family, Feliks begins to cry. He mustn't be older than five and he is the newest addition to the natblidas in training but his love for his Commander is as strong as any of the older children. Anna, the closes to Feliks wraps him in an embrace and reminds him, "Heda is strong, little one. She will get better."

Clarke leaves the tent because somehow it feels as though she is intruding in this fragile moment. The sun is beginning to set and the passing rain has stopped. Clarke is restless, thinking about the state Lexa is in and the pain Aden is enduring too. She finds herself in Aden's tent once more. The doctor is still there, hovering around Aden and writing notes on a piece of parchment.

"Do you have a better plan?" Clarke asks him.

"No." The doctor says. "I have seen many wounds like this."

"What happened?"

"They died before we could remove the sap."

"Then we have to move faster. We can't let him die." Clarke leaves the tent again. This time she runs away from the healers' tents and makes her way back into the centre of Polis. When she is back in the tower, she radios for Arkadia immediately.

"Arkadia, come in." She speaks the static begins to rumble and soon she is greeted by the voice of Monty.

"Arkadia." He confirms. "Identification? Over."

"Monty," Clarke gasps. "This is Clarke, I'm calling from Polis. Connect me to Medical. I need to talk with my mother."

"Clarke?" Abby's voice sounds different through the radio. "Is everything alright?"

"No. We need your best team to ride to Polis as soon as possible."

"Are you hurt?"

"No, Mom." Clarke says, wondering what hurt meant to her mother because right now, there is nothing by pain and desperation running in her veins. "Aden is hurt. Bad. He needs surgery. Fluid anesthetic does not mix well with night blood. Bring gas instead."

"Slow down." Abby fumbles. "What happened?"

"A mutated species of gorilla attacked while Lexa was training the children. Aden got the worst of it. How long before you get here?!"

"We'll be there in a few hours if we use the rovers." She replies.

"Bring everything you can that will help him." Clarke says and the signal goes out. Clarke fastens the radio on her belt and runs for the elevator again. When she makes it back to the tents, she visits Aden first. The doctor she's ordered to stay has fallen asleep on one of the chairs. Aden is still out. When Clarke touches his forehead, she finds his temperature rising. She pulls the blanket away and puts a gentle hand over his stomach. His skin is burning; a clear sign that the patient has started to experience sepsis.

"Wake up." Clarke calls to the doctor and he rouses. "He's started sepsis. He could go into shock. Have you tried this procedure on him before?"

"No Natblida has ever been harmed like this and survived." The doctor shakes his head and makes his way next to Clarke. He touches Aden's skin and notes the same high temperature as Clarke already had. "He must be allergic to the gum sap."

"We need to do something." Clarke says. She rummages around the room for supplies but the tools are all too primitive. Aden won't last the night if they don't do something.

"His heart rate is rising." The doctor says, counting the pulse on Aden's neck.

"Sepsis." Clarke repeats again, remembering the books she has read and the videos she had studied in the Ark all those years ago. "It occurs in three stages. Sepsis, severe sepsis, and then septic shock. Fatal if not treated immediately." Clarke frantically rummages through the doctor's supplies but finds nothing of use. Unlabelled bottles with colourful liquids. Dirty tubes, rusty needles, twine, even twigs. There is practically nothing here strong enough to kill the bacteria that is making Aden sick or strong enough to put him under enough to withstand surgery. She grunts in frustration. There has to be something she can do for this child.

"Clarke?" A soft voice coming from the entrance of the tent makes her freeze.

"Antibiotics to kill the infection." Clarke is jolted back into her study, the books are piling up around her desk but the text is clear before her. "Painkillers to soothe the patient. Corticosteroids to reduce inflammation. Vasoactive medication to increase blood pressure. Insulin to stabilize blood sugar."

"Aden?" Lexa moves slowly to Aden, her arm heavily bandaged and wrapped close to her chest.

"You shouldn't be up." Clarke whispers, still not facing Lexa. She keeps her eyes on the useless tools before her, unable to see the fear in Lexa's eyes that surely, is reflected in her's. "You need to rest. Let me take care of this."

"The children woke me. They said Aden was.." Lexa trails off, her hand on the cheek of the boy, no doubt feeling the heat of his skin. "Is he dying?"

"I won't let that happen." Clarke says, turning to face her. Lexa's back is turned away from them. Aden's breathing has become more laboured. His chest rises in irregular patterns. He's not waking up despite the pain he is in.

"What can you do?" Lexa whispers quietly as if challenging Clarke to once again intervene in the Flame's power to will these events.

"My mother and a team of experienced and capable medical doctors are on their way." Clarke comes up to her. "We're going to get him through this."

"His fight is ending." Lexa says before she swallows hard, forcing her emotions back and willing herself to separate from this boy she could almost call her son.

"No." Clarke takes Lexa's arm and makes her look at her. "I am a doctor and with the right tools, I can save him."

"Look at him, Clarke." A sheen of sweat has formed over every inch of Aden's skin. His muscles have tensed up in pain. The gauze over the deep woods on his shoulders have started to show stains of black. His breathing is so fast, it could have seemed that he was still out on training. Even in his unconscious state, his brows furrow and his lips frown as though the pain is too great to bear that even sleep cannot mask it. When she touches him again, his temperature has risen even higher. His pulse is racing. "He's in pain. We can't make him go through this any longer."

"Give my mother time to get here." Clarke says. "For now, we'll make him as comfortable as we can but once my team arrives, we fight until he survives this."

"I trust you, Clarke." Lexa closes her eyes and wraps her hand over Aden's. "I trust you to save my son."

* * *

The moon is shining bright in the night sky. The healers' tents are quiet, the patients finally resting. Lexa returned to her tent, after Clarke had convinced her to rest. "You need to go back to your tent. When you're well enough, we'll bring you back to the tower but the safest place to be is here where the healers can get to us faster." Clarke said. At that point, the most she could do for Aden was clean his wounds and press a cold towel over his head.

"I should stay here." Lexa replied. "I'm responsible for him."

"He's my patient, Lexa, you need to let me take care of him. And you need to take care of yourself."

"I feel fine." She whispers. Clarke made her way to Lexa, leaving the towel to soak in the tub of ice water she had prepared earlier. Beside her Clarke could feel the warmth exuding from Lexa. The antidote for the blood poisoning is putting her immune system in a craze. When she touches her, Lexa takes a deep breath.

"When will your team arrive?" She sighs.

"Less than an hour." Clarke peaks in the gauze that covers the wound on Lexa's arm. It's healing nicely. The dressing will need changing soon but Lexa will be fine. "It's late. You should be resting."

"I'm scared to leave his side."

"I have him." Clarke puts her hands gently on Lexa's shoulder. She makes her look at her, to see the confidence in her eyes and the steadiness of her hands. "I have him."

Reluctantly, Lexa lets Clarke walk her back to her tent. Inside, the children have set up blankets on the ground. "They're sleeping here?"

"It's been a traumatic day." Lexa says. "When I was a young natblida, my Commander would let us do the same. Not often."

"They're just kids." Clarke whispers, the realisation dawning on her as she watches the natblidas soundly sleeping.

"They're just kids." Lexa repeats. Before she loses her nerve, she plants a quick kiss on Clarke's cheek.

"Oh." Clarke exhales as Lexa's lips leave her skin. Lexa smiles and begins to make her way slowly back to her bed, stepping over the sleeping children. Clarke waits until Lexa pulls the sheets over herself before leaving the tent. Outside, only the hooting of the owls can be heard. As she walks back to Aden's tent, a sound in the distance catches her attention. There is the unmistakable sound of an engine running on full speed. She follows the sound with her eyes and in a few moments, the headlights begin to light the woods. The large rover is parked at just at the edge of the tents. Abby jumps out of the passenger's seat and meets Clarke with a hug. Leaving a large briefcase of supplies on the ground.

"What's his status?" Abby asks immediately.

"Septic." Clarke grabs her arms and takes her to Aden's tent. Inside, Aden is still soundly unconscious. The sheets of his bed, is soaked in both blood and sweat. Abby sets the case on the ground and opens it. Inside are multiple variates of antibiotics, syringes, sterile gauze, tubes, and numerous pills. Abby pulls out a thermometer and points it to Aden's forehead. The green laser lands on his skin, making it shine and when the thermometer beeps, it reads 104.

"He's burning up." Abby shakes her head. She sets the thermometer down and gently removes the blanket away. The skin around the wound has already turned. It's color, a deep bruised gray. When Abby peels away the gauze, the skin sticks to the cloth. "This was dressed poorly." She clicks her tongue.

"We didn't have much to work with." Clarke frowns at the sight of Aden's stomach. "He's septic, Mom."

"He'll go into shock if we don't treat him fast." Abby says. Just then Jackson comes in with several nurses. They carry IV stands, ultrasound machines, and more briefcases. When they've set the machines and the supplies down, they begin to change the sheets of the bed. The nurses pick Aden up from the bed like he weighs nothing at all. They're expert hands move quickly, even spending some time to wipe down the sweat all over Aden's skin, and changing him out of his clothes and into a hospital gown.

"Prep for septic shock treatment. And give me an x-ray on that belly, I want to know what they put in there." Abby orders. She opens the new sets of briefcases and begins to clean her hands. "Clarke."

Clarke starts to clean her hands as well. As she reaches for a set of gloves, Abby stops her. "What are you doing?"

"I'm getting prepped." Clarke shoves her hand into the glove, making it snap on her skin.

"Friends and family can't operate." Abby puts a hand over Clarke's. "Look, I don't know exactly what you and Lexa have together but it's clear to me that she's family to you, Clarke. Aden is like her son. You are his family by union."

"I need to be here." Clarke pleads. "I told her I'd save him and you need every hand available."

"Bring me the doctor who did this." Abby grips Clarke's hand. "That's how you can help, okay. I will take over. I'll do everything I can."

"You'll do everything you can?!" Clarke almost screams. Around them, Jackson and the nurses and busy setting the place up, doing their best to clean the place as much as possible. "That's what we say to patients who have no hope." Behind them Jackson is calling for Abby. When Clarke turns to face him, Aden is lightly shaking.

"He's developed chills." Jackson says. "Body temp is falling."

"Clarke, get me that doctor now!"

Clarke leaves the tent, throwing away the gloves as she searches for the doctor. As she turns a corner, she finds him making his way back to were she came from. "Where did you go?!" Clarke exclaims.

"Bathroom." The doctor replies.

"Get to tent. Now. They need patient history." Clarke sighs. The doctor doesn't wait for her to say any more.

Clarke hovers around Aden's tent, pacing, listening intently to the voices of Abby and Jackson. She can hear someone grunting too. She wonders if the pain meds the Ark has developed is strong enough for him. Intravenous pain relievers don't work on his blood so they rely on a mix of chemical gases to put him out. She doesn't dare peak through the doors of the tent, fearing that the air itself will contaminate the operating room and harm Aden even more, so she sits on the ground and waits until someone comes out to give her news.

When the moon begins to sink in the horizon, the sky turns to a pale orange, almost salmon color. The birds begin to wake and chirp, replacing the hooting of the owls and the screeching of the bats.

"Clarke." The voice of Jackson rouses her and she gets to her feet. She waits for him to say something more, to give her a smile or a frown, any sign to tell her how Aden is.

"Call the Commander."

"No, no, no, no." Clarke shakes her head. There is a rock in the pit of her stomach, weighing her down and making it impossible for her to move.

"Aden is asking for her."

* * *

"I'm sorry, Heda." Aden's voice is coarse. There is an IV running down to his right palm. It turns out, his dominant hand is his left, like Clarke. He looks much better. His skin is no longer pale. His wounds are properly dressed. More importantly, the gum sap that caused the septic shock is out of his body. It was a difficult and long process but his wounds have been stitched up and he's getting the antibiotics he needs. Lexa sits by his bed, afraid to touch him but gently, she wraps a hand around his. Aden smiles at her touch. Quietly, Abby and Jackson leave the room. Clarke places a hand on Lexa's shoulder, squeezing it gently. A silent goodbye for now.

"Don't be sorry." Lexa says as Clarke leaves. "I should have known we were in pauna territory. It was irresponsible of me to bring you there. _I'm_ sorry, Aden."

"Everyone is always sorry." Aden smiles, no doubt referencing an inside joke between them.

"That's right." Lexa almost laughs. "But what really matters?"

"Not the blame." Aden recites. "But the action that follows."

"I promise you," Lexa leans into him. "That I will be more vigilant. I will protect you and your brothers and sisters until my dying day. I promise you that this will never happen again."

"And I promise to become more cautious." Aden coughs, for a moment there is silence as he recovers and gets his breath back. "I promise to listen and to train hard. I promise to protect my brothers and sisters until we are worthy for the Conclave."

Lexa extends her right arm to Aden and he takes her hand in his, solidifying their promises to each other. She leans down to Aden and wraps him in her arms. "You can rest now."

"Thank you, Heda." Lexa lets him go and Aden closes his eyes.

Outside Clarke is sitting on a log with Abby and her team. There is a fire burning in front of them, keeping the fog of dawn away as they discuss the events of the night.

"It was mess." Jackson shakes his head. "The work environment was impossible."

"We're lucky if he doesn't develop another infection." Kara sighs. "A tent is no place to have surgery."

"Hey." Abby snaps. "We did good in there. We saved that boy's life."

"We're just saying," Michael takes a deep breath. "We could have done better if we were in a hospital."

"Tents. A hospital." Clarke whispers to herself. Her mind is wrapped in an idea. "What if we bring medicine to Arkadia?"

Everyone in the circle turns to her. Abby is the first to speak up.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean," Clarke leans into them. The idea is beginning to crystallise in her head. It's perfect. "Medical Missions. Not just to treat people but to teach them too."

"That would require funding." Jackson says. "Approvals. Majority vote."

"Who wouldn't approve this?" Clarke continues. "We are part of the ground now. We're a _clan_ in Lexa's Coalition. What is theirs is ours and what is ours is _theirs too._ This can be our greatest contribution to survival."

"If we pull this off," Abby's thoughts have become in sync with her daughter's. "We won't only cure the ground but we will secure peace for Arkadia."

"Mom." Clarke smiles. "I can do this. I can lead these Missions."

"It could be dangerous." Abby frowns. "We aren't exactly welcomed by all the clans of the Coalition. They could be hostile."

"Not once the ground knows that we saved their Natblidas." As Clarke says this, Lexa emerges from Aden's tent. The circle becomes quiet. Clarke is the first to rise. She crosses the space between them and envelopes her in her arms. Lexa curls into Clarke, feeling the warmth of the fire on her skin.

"Clarke." Lexa whispers in Clarke's ear. "Thank you." When they part, Lexa advances to the circle of doctors. "Thank you for your service. I am grateful to all of you."

* * *

Clarke and Lexa spend the rest of the morning in her tent. The children have all woken up and they were assisted back to their own tents. At the moment, they are being cared for by Abby and her team. Lexa was left under Clarke's care. Abby and Clarke did not have much time alone. Clarke had wanted to speak with her. To finally introduce Lexa to her but there will always be patients who need her more. Perhaps later today, when Lexa is stronger and when the patients are resting. Lexa is curled under the blanket. Clarke is sitting at the end of the bed, massaging Lexa's foot. Her eyes are closed but Clarke knows that she isn't asleep.

"I was talking to the doctors earlier this morning." Clarke says. "I had an idea."

"Hm?" Lexa exhales. The pain in her arm is unrelenting. The touch of Clarke's hands are the only source of relief she has gotten since the pauna attacked.

"What if Arkadia starts Medical Missions around the clans?" Clarke starts, unsure of how Lexa will take the rest of the news. "We can travel from one clan to another. We'll treat them but more importantly, we'll teach them too. We can leave supplies there for their use as well so that when we leave they have the right materials. After tonight, I just can't imagine this happening to other people where circumstances are worse."

Lexa's eyes open and she rises to a sitting position, making the distance between them smaller. "And who will spearhead these Missions?" She asks quietly, not doubt already expecting the answer. Clarke swallows, willing her courage to spark within her. After all that they had been through. The war, the betrayal, the City of Light, these days are just the beginning of their time together. Clarke takes a deep breath.

 _To be educated in the art of medicine is not a gift but a responsibility._

The mantra in her head, once the loud cry that reminded her of her purpose and dreams, is now but a whisper in the presence of the woman she loves. To be apart from Lexa again, the very thought of it, sends a wrenching pain in her gut but remembering the look in Aden's eyes last night, reminds her of her duty. To remember the look of death in a child's face makes her look Lexa in the eyes and confess. In times like this, there is no value in peace if the people are fighting disease.

"I would, Lexa." She says.

"You." Lexa sighs. Her hand grips onto Clarke's. The pain in her injured arm is forgotten, belittled by the shadow of the hurting her heart is experiencing. Clarke is leaving her again.

"We would have to make plans with our Chancellor." Clarke begins to ramble, nervous at the silence Lexa is giving her. "I mean, we would probably put it to a vote so that we know if the people are ready to support it. And of course, we'll need to produce new supplies ready for travel. I would have to assemble a team. Also an itinerary, we can't just go jumping around from one place to another, right? So an itinerary. And since I haven't finished my training because I was put in solitary, I'd have to do that first. And—" Lexa pulls Clarke in an embrace. Clarke's arms wrap around Lexa. She rests her head on her shoulder, struggling to keep herself from crying.

"I don't mean to leave you." Clarke begins to explain, her tears falling onto Lexa's shirt. "I just can't stand by and let this happen again."

"I understand." Lexa says. "This is why I love you."

"I love you too." Clarke pulls away from her and kisses her.

When they part Lexa is smiling. "I would have to find a replacement for you." She says, bringing her hand to the scar over Clare's eyebrow. "You can't be Ambassador anymore. There is a greater call for you."

"Don't go looking for my replacement too soon." Clarke smiles and raises an eyebrow. "I'm not leaving yet."

"Of course not. Someone has to take care of my arm." Lexa bites her lip. With her good hand, she pulls Clarke into another kiss.


	13. Ambassador No More 2

AMBASSADOR NO MORE

Chapter 2

Farewell

Below the towering balcony, the people are busy. The market is filled with eager customers, buying food to stock for the coming Ice. The wind is beginning to chill the capital and the leaves of the trees have collected on the ground. In the early mornings, the dew freezes over until it melts with the rising sun. Inside the tower, Clarke is busy collecting her things, mumbling to herself the little things she might have forgotten to pack. She has been up since before the sun rose, collecting her things and writing down lists of things to do when she reaches Arkadia. It has been months since she's travelled back to Arkadia. She's finally coming back home but some part of her feels as though she is _leaving_ her home.

She folds up the last set of clean clothes that she has and stuffs it in the sack that was given to her. Much of what she's taking back to the Ark are clothes that were specially made for her during her stay here. The wind gushes through her window and as she makes her way to pull the curtains to a close, there is soft knock on her door.

"Come in." Clarke says. Lexa quietly peaks through the door and smiles at her sadly. Her eyes look from Clarke, to the packed bags that are clustered on the foot of her bed.

"When do you leave?" Lexa asks, closing the door behind her.

"Tomorrow at dawn."

"You haven't had breakfast." Lexa frowns.

"Too much things to prepare."

Clarke pulls the curtains closed and wraps her robe around her even tighter. She has never experienced snow before. On the ground they call winter, Ice. She's excited to see snow falling but the weather is unrelenting. The cold pierces through the thin layers of her clothes. The crew that will travel with her back to Arkadia have expressly urged her to push the travel period a week earlier so as to avoid the fall of Ice. So here she is.

"Have you chosen a new Ambassador?" Clarke asks her.

"Bellamy Blake." Lexa says. "I have sent my riders to pick him up from your camp. They should return in a few days."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Clarke frowns. "Bellamy isn't a big fan of Grounder culture."

"It is the best way to make him understand our ways." Lexa smiles, confident that the Flame is on her side with this decision. "And through this, I can keep a close eye on him."

"Are you certain?" Clarke probes, unsure about leaving Lexa alone with Bellamy in a seat of power.

"Don't worry about me, Clarke." Lexa says confidently. "I am the Commander. He will be in my side of the arena. I will be in control here. Not him."

"I know you will." Clarke shakes her head. "I just worry. That's all."

"My scouts have found a new group of settlers." Lexa changes the subject.

"Settlers?"

"A large group of organised people settling down in my lands as their permanent resting place." Lexa takes a deep breath. "We are yet to determine if they are a threat or a potential new clan."

"Are they dangerous?" Clarke asks.

"Possibly but we are stronger." Lexa says.

"Are you leaving too?" Clarke asks, thinking about Lexa's safety and impossible distance between them should something happen to her.

"No." Lexa answers quickly. "My place is here. I have people who make deals with settlers."

"Like Anya." Clarke recalls and Lexa nods sadly.

She is standing between Clarke and her bags, waiting for Clarke to say something more but mostly, she came here to make the most out of the time they have left together. Letting Clarke go is difficult for her. Months ago, Lexa was grappling for some sense of control, a great need to anchor herself to something or someone stronger than her.

Wanheda.

When Roan came to Polis with his prisoner, everything changed for Lexa. Even when Clarke was stubborn, her very presence in her tower made Lexa feel capable. Strong. Brave.

"Do you have to leave so soon?" Lexa asks. She makes her way to Clarke's bed, sitting by the edge of the mattress and examining her packs. She begins to reach for one of the bags, for a moment forgetting about her injured arm. The pain sends sparks through her shoulder and up to the temples of her head and she flinches slightly. Suddenly Clarke is beside her, taking her hand and speaking to her ever so softly. "You should be careful with that arm."

"I feel fine." Lexa clears her throat and smiles. "It feels fine."

"I know it hurts." Clarke sits on the bed too, placing Lexa's hand on her lap to examine the dressing of the healing wound. "If I could give you something for the pain, I would. Here, let me see." Clarke gently lifts the gauze from her arm. The skin is inflamed around the wound. The area is tinged with darkness because of the nightblood. Clarke sets the gauze back and gets to her feet. On the shelves near her bed is a box of gauze. She changes the dressing of Lexa's arm with expert hands. A few moments later, the wound is clean and repacked.

"You'll do well out there." Lexa smiles, looking at her own arm. It feels good to be cared for by Clarke.

"I hope so." Clarke sighs. "I have a lot to learn before we can really begin. My mother needs to stay in the Ark so out there, I'll be in charge."

"I will…" Lexa trails off. For a moment there is a heavy silence between them. Outside, the sun is rising but the cold wind persists on sweeping through the capitol. Some of the candles have been blown out, making the room somewhat dimmer. Lexa takes a deep breath and looks Clarke in the eyes, "I'll miss you."

"Come here," Clarke says in a low whisper, looking at Lexa's lips and letting her hand guide her into a kiss. "Come here." She whispers once more before their lips touch. A warmth spreads through them and the chilling wind is beaten. Clarke's arms wrap around the small of Lexa's back, pulling her deeper in the kiss. "Listen." Clarke whispers when they part. "Things have changed between us. Things will always continue to change but the only thing that we need to hold on to is this."

"I can't protect you out there. I'm scared of losing you." Lexa closes her eyes. Clarke's hand rests gently on Lexa's cheek, making her look back at her.

"You're not going to lose me." Clarke says. "We've gone through too much to go on without each other."

"Clarke." Lexa frowns, knowing that her words are as beautiful as they are fragile.

"I know you're thinking about Costia." Clarke whispers. "I know you think someone might take me away from you and I would—"

"Don't say it." Lexa grips Clarke's wrist, making her words halt lest the fates here her challenge.

"Lexa." Clarke pleads. "I don't want to leave you like this."

 _Like this_. Lexa repeats to herself.

Like a burning sword is ripping her heart apart. Like she'll wake up every morning wanting to be kissed but half of the bed is empty. Like at the back of her mind, thoughts of the beasts in the woods or the evil in the eyes of men will constantly be following her beloved and she will be miles away, too far, to protect her. Leaving her like it will be farewell forever.

Suddenly Clarke's arms are around her waist. She pulls Lexa into her embrace and kisses her neck, breathing in the smell of flowers in her hair and feeling the heat of her skin on her lips. "I love you, I love you, I love you." She whispers to mask the good bye hidden between the words. To make Lexa forget how far she will be and how long they will be apart.

"I know." Lexa says, her voice deep and low in her throat. "I know." She says again as though the I love you was an apology, too hard to swallow but an apology all the same.


	14. Ambassador No More 3

AMBASSADOR NO MORE

Chapter 3

Purpose

Midway from their journey, Clarke is wrapped around her thoughts. Lexa's words swim around her mind, making her wonder what life was like before the Ark had landed on Earth. "Kai?" she calls for her closest guard.

"Wanheda." Kai answers, riding somewhat slower to keep pace with Clarke's horse. The sound of the name sends a chill through her spine. Wanheda has never been a label she was proud to wear. It whispered too many deaths and cast a shadow over her past with Lexa. She shakes it off. "What does it mean for Polis when settlers find a home in your territory?"

"Our territory." Kai corrects her and Clarke nods. "Well, those who have spotted them know not to approach unless their home is threatened. The first thing to do is to send a message to the nearest Scout Camp. There are always Scouts of the Flamekeeper near every clan. A number of scouts will then ride to Polis to deliver the news while a designated group will sequester the area to observe."

Clarke wonders if not too long ago, the Dropship was surrounded by scouts. How much of their struggle did they see? How long before they were labelled as a threat? "What does it mean for the Commander?" Clarke asks when Kai becomes silent.

"If the scouts think the settlers are dangerous, the Commander's duty is to authorize the scouts to lead the settlers away. The less bloodshed the better. If they retaliate, the Commander can approve a Kill Sequence. If the scouts fail, the Commander herself will intervene. If they are friendly, or if they have something the Commander wants, we offer them the Coalition."

"Do you think... The settlers they found recently…" Clarke pauses, carefully choosing her words. "Do you think they're friendly?" It takes a while for Kai to answer. His brows furrow, trying to find the best words to tell Heda's _hodness_ that Heda is yet again at the verge of planning to ride off to the edges of Sankru to face the troubling threat herself.

"Kai?" Clarke urges.

"Ambassador." Kai sighs. "There is a possibility that Heda is considering a journey to the edges of Sangedakru to reclaim the land."

"Possibility?" Clarke asks. Her horse begins to gallop at the jerk of her legs and she struggles to regain control. Discussions of Heda leaving Polis has never been raised in their meetings before. "I don't think the other Ambassadors know about this."

"The Circle of Ambassadors are not concerned with matters such as this."

"But there could be another war. Our resources could be of use."

"The Commander has no need for aids from Clans to challenge a group of settlers, Wanheda. At least not yet." Kai sighs. "The army of Polis is large enough to contain them and so there is no need to risk other soldiers."

"I'm just worried about her." Clarke whispers, clutching onto her horse and thinking whether it was a good decision to be apart from Lexa for this long. "She didn't tell me that she was planning on leaving too."

"She worries too." Kai smiles. He reaches across the distance that separates them and gives her wrist a reassuring squeeze. "She worries a lot. For you." Clarke looks over to him. "But duty is a powerful leader that commands us all."

The wind ripples between them, sending shivers through Clarke's spine. Somethings doesn't feel right. The ride is longer and colder than she had expected. The soil is crunching beneath the hooves of the horses, the sun is hidden beneath the thick clouds. Her guard thinks that ice will fall much later but it feels as though the snow is already here. Clarke pulls her blue cape even tighter around her shoulders and she takes a deep breath. Her exhales comes out as a white cloud that fades up into the air. Perhaps by nightfall they will reach the gates of Arkadia but for now, she is left with her thoughts about Polis and her mission that begins at the very first page of her medical manual. Somehow, she cannot seem to shake the feeling of foreboding that has sunken into her bones the moment Lexa mentioned the settlers. A part of her wants to turn her horse around and ride back to Polis. After all, at this point in their journey, they are closer to the city than they are to the clan. She pushes the thoughts away. There is a greater calling. Clarke knows that Lexa kept her own mission to deal with the settlers a secret from Clarke. She of all people believes in Clarke's mission to heal the ground.

 _Maybe she did know,_ Clarke thinking to herself, _She knew that if she told me that she'd be leaving for Sangedakru that I won't let her go alone. She wants me to be here. She wants me to train. I'm doing the right thing and she'll be safe._

They continue on riding through the noon, resting only to eat a quick meal and to let the horses rest. Clarke breathes in the cold forrest air, trying to remember how much the things have changed and how much things could still change. When she can't help the silence anymore, she asks Kai how she could reach Heda if things get difficult and when she misses her too much to ignore her absence.

"Should we encounter any problems throughout our mission, a quick message can be delivered to Heda through the nearby scouts." Kai smiles. "The scouts know the ground better than any alive. We can trust them to be our voice."

"That's good." Clarke exhales a sigh of relief.

"Ambassador," Kai begins, "May I speak freely?"

"Of course you can." Clarke looks to him.

"It is true that Heda had once loved another." He starts slow, unsure of how to tell the tale. "It was a different time. A very _long_ time ago. She was younger but not any less wiser. I have served her from the very moment she Ascended and now at her order, I serve you. I have seen Heda grow strong throughout her reign but at the loss of her _hodness_ , I have seen her turn hard as well, unfeeling, unattached, and sometimes ruthless." Kai pauses and he closes his eyes for a moment. "From the moment you walked into Heda's life, things changed. _She_ changed. I just wanted to take the time to tell you the great impact you have had on her. Some believe that to be Heda is to be alone but I have seen Heda flourish in your love and I thank you. Polis thanks you."

* * *

When the dawn rises, Lexa shuffles under the sheets of her bed, her arms reaching out for Clarke, only to be greeted with emptiness. She opens her eyes, squinting against the glint of the sunlight creeping through her curtains, and she heaves a sigh. It will take some time to get used to her absence. She gets to her feet and takes her black robes hanging on the post of her bed. She takes a moment to look out her window. Polis is still sleeping. The ice is yet to fall but the winds have gotten even colder. She wonders then if Clarke had made it safely to Arkadia, if the winds of the eve that passes had been cold and whether the cape she had lent her gave her any warmth at all.

Below her tower the market persists on opening. Not much will survive the harsh cold that the ice will bring but they always get through. She smiles proudly to herself as she sees the merchants begin to load their produce onto the tables of their booths. She is proud of the resilience of her people and their collective effort to keep each other alive. From a far, beyond the trees and across the river that snakes around the forrest, a smoke signal burns green against the white sky. Her scouts among Sankru are ready for her arrival. It will be a long ride but, should it come to it, the fight will quick. She pulls her robe tight around her and makes her way to the bath.

"Kala?" Quietly, she peeks outside her room and calls for her handmaid. Kala comes around the corner of the hall, her brown skirt flittering behind her. "Ai Heda." Kala bows her head. "Yu clinba ste ed." _My Commander, your bath is ready._

"Mochof, Kala." _Thank you, Kala._ Lexa smiles. She lets Kala lead her to the baths, take her robe from her shoulders and she sinks into the warm bath as Kala lights some candles before leaving with the door closed. Kala knows the ritual. It's strange but for the longest time in her life, Kala knew her best. To grow up as a Natblida in a strange city, away from home, and with no real family surrounding you, your life becomes your training. Your new siblings are your fellow Natblidas but on the day of the Conclave, only the strongest must continue on. After her Ascension, Lexa's only true family were Costia, Anya and Kala. She sinks deeper into the bath, letting the pink petals swim up to her chin. She closes her eyes for a while, knowing well that Kala will now be preparing her war gear and her coats for the ride to Sankru. Some floors beneath her, her trusted guards are preparing rations, supplies, and weapons for the trip. It should be quick but still, only her best weapons will do.

Under the water, Lexa behind to flex her wrist and her fingers. She stretches her toes and her legs and she forces even the smallest muscles around her eyes to relax. In times like these, tension and anxiety are her silent enemies. She lets her ears sink beneath the surface of the water, trying her best to drown out the fears she has of Clarke's mission. Whether she has already admitted it to herself or not, Polis knows that Clarke is Heda's family too. To lead the ground is a lonely chore but a handful of people prove to be strong enough to bear it with her. For the longest time, she has been taught that to be Heda is to be alone but, on her own, she learned that to be a _stronger_ leader, you cannot do it alone.

She takes a deep breath, knowing well that the fight she will enter today will be different from all the fights she had fought before Clarke. In her life Clarke seems to be her defining boundary. There was _Before Clarke_ and _After Clarke_. Before Clarke, and even during Costia, she was so focused, _so focused_ , on forming the Coalition. Nothing else mattered. Not even her own life. She had gone into every battle comfortable in the fact that she might win at the cost of her life. The Natblidas she had left at home would have still gone on without her and her legacy would have survived her death. But now, things are changing. Clarke is making her change. Lexa wonders if Kala had noticed her hands shaking when she pulled the robe away from her. She wonders if Titus was right, if her feelings for Clarke are making her weak. She pulls herself out of the water and sits in the bath, hugging her knees close to her chest.

 _Love is weakness._

That was Before Clarke. Before Clarke taught her that the answer to violence can not be violence and that fighting fire with fire will only make the blaze stronger. Before Clarke taught her that hiding from what you feel does not make it any less real, that acknowledging the voice of your heart does not always mean ignoring the sense of your mind. Clarke made her stronger. And so she welcomes the fear, the anxiety, and the tense foreboding feeling she always put aside. These are not her enemies but instead her advisers. To be afraid of a fight means that there is something worth losing and she will not lose Clarke, not again. Not ever.


	15. Ambassador No More 4

AMBASSADOR NO MORE

Chapter 4

Complications

"Wanheda, we have arrived." Kai's voice rouses her from sleep. Clarke is slumped forward on her horse, miraculously she hasn't fallen despite the bumpy terrain. She pulls herself up to see the towering gates of Arkadia. They are welcomed inside, the horses are sequestered into the barn to be fed and cleaned. Clarke's guard follows her closely as though she was Heda herself. In the Ark, her mother is the first to find her. In the moonlight, she looks even older. The lines around her eyes wrinkle even more at the smile on her face as they meet. "Clarke." She whispers and pulls her into an embrace. "You're back."

"I am." She smiles although something in her feels as though this place is no longer home. Somewhere far from the camp is her true home. Standing atop a tower. She wonders if Lexa is feeling the same. Abby pulls away from the embrace and takes a while to look at her daughter. She looks well, the scars on her face are healing much faster than she expected. Her skin, despite the dim glow that the moon provides, seems more radiant than ever. _The ground is helping her thrive._ Abby thinks to herself and smiles again. _She belongs here._

"Mom, this is Kai. My Head Guard." Clarke gestures to the guard behind her. Abby shakes his hand. His firm grip wraps around her delicate fingers and she looks into his eyes. Dark brown orbs that are always on the look out for danger. "Thank you for keeping her safe." Abby smiles.

"It is our duty." Kai bows his head slightly. "It is a great honor to be chosen to stand beside the Great Wanheda." The the three guards in Kai's team bow their heads in respect as well.

"Please, let me lead you to the guest quarters." Abby says. "Surely you must be tired."

"Thank you Healer Abby, but as Wanheda's guard we are to stay with her wherever she goes."

"You can stay in the rooms near my home." Clarke says, her lips smiling but her voice sending a clear order. "I'll be safe here in Arkadia."

Her guard merely nods in response. There will be no argument against her word, especially now that they are sworn to her.

* * *

"So," Abby smiles as she closes the door of their home. "You have a habit of dropping by when the Camp is in deep sleep."

"It takes a whole day to get to Arkadia from Polis." Clarke sinks into the couch. "We would have arrived later in the week but my guards insisted we leave earlier before Ice fell."

"Ice." Abby repeats, sitting next to her daughter. "That's what they call it down here?"

"What's the update on our approval." Clarke faces Abby. She rests her head on the couch, willing her eyes to keep open. Outside the small windows of their room, snow is beginning to fall. They float ever so gently in the air until they land on the warm metal of the Ark and melt. Rivulets of water trail down their windows, sending light streaks of the moonlight's shadows on their floors.

"It's approved of course." Abby says "But getting people to sign up for the job is proving to be one of the difficulties."

"Well." Clarke sighs. "We'll have to show them that this is worth it."

"How are we going to do that?" Abby frowns.

"I don't know." Clarke closes her eyes. "I'll think of something."

"You're tired." Abby touches Clarke's shoulder and she opens her eyes. "Your room is exactly how you left it."

"Wow." Clarke almost laughs. "I'd half expected that you and Kane would have transformed it into an office by now."

"We always know that you'd come back." Abby smiles and stands form the couch. "Even if this isn't your home anymore."

"I can have more than one home." Clarke kisses her mother on the cheek before making her way to her room.

"Get a good night's rest." Abby calls. "Tomorrow we start medical training."

* * *

In the medical bay Clarke is absorbing every single detail thrown to her. Tools, techniques, medical terms, even the way Jackson grips on the syringes. For now, she's a shadow. Following different doctors everyday, to learn as much as she can, to be as diverse as she could be. There are very few sick people left in the Ark. It's a good sign. The people are finally adapting to the environment of the Earth but it also means that there's less and less people to learn from. On most days, Clarke spends her time in the nurses' station. Reading books, writing notes, memorizing every detail she can. It's tiring but it feels good to be working to some purpose. At night, Clarke takes out her sketch book. She begins to draw the human body. From every fiber of muscle to every vein that travels back to the heart, she details them very finely with her pencil. After drawing, she takes her pen and begins to label every single structure. There is almost no time for sleep. There is always someone who needs help in the clinic and so she stays awake though her eyes feel heavy.

"Clarke?" A voice rouses her out of sleep. She raises her head from the nurses' table and looks up to find Raven.

"Raven!" She gets to her feet, pushing the chair behind her with her legs and reaches over the table to embrace her.

"I didn't realize you were back." Raven says when they part.

"I know, I'm sorry." Clarke frowns. "It's been a few weeks. Mom told me you were out on the woods, doing some work for Kane?"

"We were scouting the area." Raven smiles. "Looking for some useful things we might've missed. There hasn't really been much down time to get our bearings in this area up until now."

"Who's on your team?" Clarke moves around the table and offers a seat and Raven gladly takes it. She looks tired. Her leg is still supported by braces and it seems as though she could use something just as strong but about ten times lighter.

"Well, we've got the usual crew, you know. Jasper, Monty." Raven smiles. "Bellamy was on our team until Lexa's scouts intercepted our path and said he was being called to be the new Ambassador."

"That's right." Clarke replies. "They just picked him up and left?"

"Well I supposed they escorted him back here to get his stuff before going back to Polis." Raven shrugs.

"Did you find anything?" Clarke asks instead.

"We did, actually." Raven sighs. "Monty's updating the map. It looks like some sort of old factory, quite a miles from here but a good investment. Machines looked like they were in good shape. Definitely something there we can salvage."

"That sounds great!" Clarke kneels in front of Raven and inspects her leg. "Do you mind? I mean I'm still just a shadow around here but I have experience."

"Please." Raven rolls her eyes. "I trust you more than these doctors. Go at it. It's been hurting more than usual. I figured I was just tired from the trip but, better safe than sorry right? I _was_ going here to look for Abby but found you instead."

Clarke calls for one of the nurses to help her. Together she and Tyler help Raven up to her feet and into a bed. "Thanks Ty." Clarke smiles. He asks if she needs anything else, and she sends him to look for her mother.

"Ty's a looker." Raven winks at Clarke. From the bed, Raven nudges Clarke as she prepares a glass of water on the bedside table.

"Oh please." Clarke almost laughs. "I have Lexa."

"Yeah. You do." Raven smiles, she's not teasing anymore. There's a genuine twinkle in the way she looks back at her. "I'm glad you found her, Clarke. I really am."

"Thanks, Raven." Clarke takes her hand. "That means a lot to me, especially from you." Flashes of Finn dying at the post swims in Clarke's mind and she struggles to focus. She takes the glass of water and the pain medication and hands them to Raven. "This should help with the pain. We can unbuckle your braces when your good and numb. It'll be a few minutes at most."

"So tell me." Raven pushes herself into a more comfortable position. She pulls one of the pillows from under her and hugs it to her chest. "What does an Ambassador do? I'm curious to know what you filled your time with while you were away from here."

"Well." Clarke sits on the side of the bed, "I sat in in a lot of meetings. Mostly to report on how Arkadia is doing. The other Ambassadors did the same. Mostly we hear about Lexa's plans and we tell her what kind of resources our Clan can offer. Other times, we serve as advisers, although Lexa has the final say, of course. I think, she keeps the Ambassadors there to have a tangible symbol for the Coalition. We make sure that our clans will be peaceful to others."

"And you thought, Bellamy would be a good replacement for you?" Raven rolls her eyes. "I mean, he's a good guy, but you know how he gets so over-protective of the Ark, even to the point of unnecessary violence."

"It wasn't my idea." Clarke says. "It was Lexa's. I tried to reason her out of it but the Flame supported her decision. She was so sure."

"Well then." Raven shrugs. "Maybe the Commander is right. This could be the best way to teach the King of Delinquents why the grounders could be good friends too."

"I hope so." Clarke sighs. She gets back on her feet and looks over to her leg. Underneath the thick metal braces, the skin looks bruised. Blood could be getting stuck between the bars. The scouting definitely induced this but it was just a matter of time before her braces would eventually put strain on her. "I'm going to take out the braces now. The pain meds should work and you shouldn't feel anything."

"I'm ready."

Clarke pulls out a screwdriver and begins to release the bolts on the joints of the braces. Little by little the braces begin to loosen and although Raven's senses have been numbed, she could feel the release of pressure from her legs. Gently, Clarke lifts the top brace over to reveal Raven's bruised, and swollen leg. "Yikes." Raven sighs. "No wonder."

"This is the first time you're seeing this?" Clarke sets the brace down on the floor and pulls out the half piece from under Raven's leg. Her skin feels warm to the touch. Suddenly Abby arrives, sweeping back the curtains around the small enclosure around the bed.

"Raven!" Abby calls, almost out of breath. "I didn't know that you were back."

"Well here, I am." Raven smiles. "You're favorite patient, Doc."

"Look at this." Clarke sighs, her eyes scanning over the bruises, her fingers trailing over the swelled areas of Raven's skin. "She's been walking around in this pain."

"Well the injured spine kinda helps." Raven shrugs. "I mean it is uncomfortable but recently the pains gotten more… achey? Don't know if that's a legit medical term to call pain but that's what I got."

"I think she could have fractured a bone." Clarke thinks out loud. "The brace is not working for her. We should stop that, find something stronger but lighter."

"You could be right. We need to have her x-rayed." Abby whispers, her eyes and hands on Raven's leg, just like Clarke. "The fracture could be causing the swelling…"

"The bruising could be muscle deep." Clarke clicks her tongue in disapproval. "I'll have Tyler take these braces away. We are not using those anymore."

"Then how am I supposed to walk?" Raven's voice pierces through Abby and Clarke's train of thought.

"We'll figure something out for you, don't worry." Abby squeezes Raven's hand. "I'm not going to lose your leg to those metal clamps. They're destroying your bones."

Clarke leaves the room, taking the braces with her. She finds Tyler and asks him to put the braces in the biomedical waste bin. She thanks him and leaves to haul in the x-ray machine into Raven's room. Abby sets the machine into configuration and tells Raven to stay still. There is a flash of black light and the images begin to form on the screen. The photos show clear fracture lines across her tibia.

"You were right." Abby points to the fracture lines.

"What's our next move?" Raven asks. "I guess this means I won't be on the next rotation?"

"Far from it." Abby says. "You're officially on leave from work."

"Unfit for work, yet again." Raven sighs.

"I'm sorry Raven." Clarke frowns. "It'll take a while to heal your bones. We'll need to release the pressure on your legs. That means surgery. We'll have a special pillow made for you. Casts won't work since pressure could easily build up again, so we have to set your bones back in the proper position to heal without using anything that could restrict blood flow."

"That's my girl." Abby smiles. "Good news is, Raven, you're first in line for pain meds."

"Perfect." Raven smiles back at her.

"It's not all paradise." Clarke raises her brows. "You have to help me design your new leg supports."

* * *

In her room, Clarke is slumped over her sketchbook. She's drawing the anatomy of the human leg, the bones, mostly ,and the nerves surrounding them. She won't be in Raven's surgery, but it helps her feel in control to see her pencil move across the paper to form the very organs she is craving to treat. There is a soft knock on the door and her mother peaks in.

"You did good today." Abby says. She looks over Clarke's shoulder and sees the immense detail she's replicated on paper.

"Do you think I can be in the surgery?" Clarke asks. "I'll just be a spectator, I won't be in the way. I mean, I've been training for almost 5 weeks now. I think I've earned a spot in the operating room."

"That's what I came in here to tell you." Abby smiles. Clarke turns to face her mother. "I think you should assist Jackson in the surgery tomorrow."

"Jackson?" Clarke sets her pencil down, "I though it'd be you?"

"I have other patients, Clarke." Abby smiles. "I can trust Raven in your hands." She kisses the top of her head and gives her a hug.

"I'm scared, Mom." Clarke whispers, gripping onto her mother even tighter.

"Do you remember that day all those months ago when it was just you and the hundred down here?" Abby pulls away from her daughter and makes her look at her, "When Finn got a knife stabbed in his side, _you_ got that knife out and saved his life. You've been ready for a long time Clarke."

"This won't be your last surgery." Abby smiles. "You'll do great. Jackson will be there every step of the way to teach you. Plus, the surgery will be minor. The big part of her treatment is finding an alternative for her leg support."

"Speaking of the supports," Clarke put her anatomy drawings aside and opened a different book. "I think I have a solution." She leafed through the pages of her old drawings of the earth and its many flora and fauna. When she stops, the page features a forest of bamboo trees. "Bamboo. I've seen these in the forest that surround Polis. Some Natblidas actually spar with them. Its lightweight but its strong."

"This could work." Abby nods, tracing the page with her finger. "If possible, the support could maintain a minimalistic design and allow for more flexibility."

"It's worth a try." Clarke smiles hopefully. "If this works, it's something I could definitely teach to other clans."

"Run it through Raven, she'll most likely have a better eye at how it should be designed."

The operating room is surprisingly calm. Clarke stands beside Jackson, her eyes fixed on his every move. "10 blade." Jackson orders and the nurse hands him the scalpel. He makes the incision to relieve the pressure in Raven's legs.

"In cases like this, Clarke, the smaller cut the better." Jackson says. "Makes the post-operation healing much less toxic." As he lifts his scalpel from the incision, blood immediately begins to flow out, almost spurting out of her leg. "With bleeding as strong as this…" Jackson begins again.

"It built pressure in the leg." Clarke says

"Correct." he says. "But what are we looking for?"

"The source of the bleeding. A vessel ruptured, causing build-up of pressure, loss of blood, and pain." Clarke says, her eyes darting from every corner of the open site. "There!"

Jackson's fingers quickly find the source and he clamps it down. He repairs the vessel and the bleeding stops.

"Would you care to close?" Jackson offers and Clarke looks over to him, nervous but excited.

"Yes, please." She takes her spot and asks for the needle. Carefully, she inserts it right under the skin of a deep stitch. Tying the nots, cutting the thread and making new stitches until it is time to close the surface of the skin. Her mind is a void, her eyes focused and unblinking, fingers steady, and her movements fine and controlled.

"Griffins are a natural in the OR." Jackson applauds as Clarke makes the final stitch.

"This is only the beginning." She says with a deep breath. "Thank you for letting me close."

"No, thank _you_!" Jackson dresses the wound and orchestrates the nurses to bring Raven back to her room. "I'll tell Abby the good news."

* * *

Raven begins to rouse from her sleep. Her leg is nestled between pillows. "Hey." Clarke places a gentle hand on her shoulder. Raven squats up at her, "Am I alive?"

"Sorry, Raven." Clarke shakes her head, "You finally made it to the shore."

"Should've known it if you were on my medical team!" Raven tries to prop herself up but Clarke pushes her down lightly.

"Don't try to get up." Clarke says, "Just lay back. Jackson was able to relieve the pressure from your leg. A vessel had ruptured when your bone fractured. The blood was causing the pressure and the bruising. You're all patched up now."

"Except for the issue of the fractured bone." Raven chuckles. "You know, this leg is highly problematic for a leg that can't even walk."

"We fixed your leg, now its time for you to walk." Clarke brings out her sketchbook. Inside she has detailed her proposed design of her new leg braces. Raven takes hold of it and for a moment, she studies the pictures. learning each stroke and examining its feasibility. "Wood?" Raven asks. "You're going to make a leg out of wood."

"No I'm not." Clarke smirks, "You are. Well, you'll help me. What do you think?"

"You think its strong enough to carry weight?" Raven looks at the drawing again, "I mean physically, the design should work but will the wood hold?"

"We'll be using bamboo." Clarke says, "I believe that if we weave it correctly, its properties are perfect for a lightweight but strong brace."

"Then let's find ourselves a bamboo source."

* * *

In the months that pass Clarke continued to work tirelessly, learning as much as she could and doing procedures with less and less tools that are often not available in other clans. In her time as a student she had about 20 surgeries and 70 patients, most of which required only the most minimal care and often left the medical bay sooner than Clarke had thought. Her exposure range was smaller than ideal but this is what she was given and she made the most of it. Today, she's packing her bags yet again. Taking only the necessary and indispensable tools and a few sets of clothing. Travel must be light for it to be quick and smooth. In her team are only the best of the residents in the medical bay. All in all there are eight of them: Ronen, her most trusted assist, Stella the best nurse the med bay could spare, her daughter, Katrine, who like Clarke saw a better purpose in the mission, a doctor in training but qualified nonetheless. Of course, Kai would be coming with them and his partners, Goyu, Mira, and Abe who make up her personal guard.

"We're all set, Doc." Ronen peaks into Clarke's office, a makeshift room that used to be a supplies closet. Clarke heaves a deep sigh, quickly running through the list in her mind yet again. Their itinerary, their medical tools, even their supplies that they intend to leave in the clans that they will be calling home for a while. It's has been so long since she left the Ark. Almost a year since she arrived to train and now, she leaves again.

"Give us a moment." Abby's voice echoes from begin Ronen and he quickly steps aside so that she could enter the room with Clarke.

"The team and I will be at the stables." Ronen gives a quick smile.

"Thanks, Ronen." Clarke says, facing them finally. "I'll be there in a few minutes."

Abby closes the door behind her and helps Clarke with the last of her things. She hauls up the duffel bag onto the table, inspects it and zips it closed. "Are you ready for this?"

"I think ten months in rigorous training should do it." Clarke smiles. "I never got to say this, Mom, but thank you."

"Oh Clarke." Abby embraces her.

"I mean it." Clarke wraps her arms around her mother. "Thanks for believing in me."

"You've always had a goodness in you only your father could have given." Abby pulls away and looks at her daughter for a moment, pulling away strands of hair away from her bright blue eyes, "Be smart out there. You've always been a leader for everyone but this time, don't forget that it's okay to put yourself first."

"I'll write to you, as much as I can." Clarke says. She hauls the bag over her shoulder and begins to make her way out the office when her mother pulls her back.

"Wait," Abby whispers. "I can't let you leave, knowing that you might find out from someone else."

"Find out what?" Clarke's brows furrows. In the time of her training, she had been so immersed in the art of medicine that she would spend days and weeks in the medical bay, eating, sleeping, and living there if only to get another minute's worth of knowledge. The outside world was left at a murmur. "What's happened?"

"When you go out there, Kai will inform you that your itinerary has been…" Abby pauses, looking for the right word, "Modified."

"We spent weeks planning this trip." Clarke drops the bag at her feet. "Why the sudden change?!"

"Sankru is off limits."

"Off limits?" Clarke's mind is jolted back ten months ago, in her room in the Polis Tower where Lexa had promised that Sangedakru would not require her presence. "Mom, what to do you know?"

"When did you last hear from the Commander?"

"I-I wrote to her some months ago but she stopped sending back and I started to get busy." Clarke shakes her head, "I can't expect her to always be available to me, she's the Commander!"

"Breathe, Clarke." Abby places her hands on Clarke's shoulders to ground her.

"Breathe?!" Clarke exhales, "Mom stop giving me the bits and pieces of the story, please tell me what happened."

"Commander Lexa has placed a blockade around the Desert Clan because they have began to show signs of rebellion and are threatening to start a war."

"Over what?"

"They claim that the settlers have professed that the end of the world is near. The settlers came to seek help from the Commander for shelter. The people in the Desert Clan were outraged. They accused the Commander of keeping secrets and forcing the clans to be under her control while she sat by waiting for the world to end."

"When did you learn about this?" Clarke begins to search her bag for a pen and paper, intending to send a letter to Lexa herself.

"Just two days ago." Abby sighs, "A scout delivered the Order to Arkadia. You were too engrossed in the Medical Bay, we thought—"

"You thought it would be best to tell me at the last minute?!" Clarke drops the pen on the table and takes a deep breath. "Please tell me the Commander is in Polis.

"She's in Sankru, Clarke, what do you expect?" Abby frowns. "She needs to deal with this first hand."

"Oh come on, Mom, those allegations are complete lies!" Clarke almost laughs. "How could the settlers know anything about when the world would end? They can't be buying into this mess! We just got _out_ of a war!"

"Actually, Clarke, they presented some critical evidence that the scouts sent to us to evaluate."

"Why would they do that?"

"Because we're the only clan who knows about nuclear power."

"No." Clarke shakes her head. "That's not possible."

"We believe the settlers stumbled upon multiple deteriorating nuclear power plants that are so close to exploding. They described it as the death mark." Abby pulls out a crumpled piece of paper from her pocket and presents it to Clarke. A skull and bones in the center of a diamond.

"The hazard symbol."

"Exactly." Abby sighs. "They said it was all over the compounds. They found three before seeking shelter under the Coalition."

"Why are you telling this to me now?"

"Because I want you to know all the facts before you leave for this mission." Abby says, pushing Clarke's unfinished letter and the hazard symbol aside. "I don't want you to find out from someone else, somewhere else. Because I want you to decide now if this medical mission is really what you want to do because there is another team leaving Arkadia in the coming days to scout out those deteriorating nuclear power plants in the hope of preventing the same events that brought us to space."

"Ronen and my team are waiting for me." Clarke sinks into a chair, "How could I choose?"

"Ronen, Stella, and Katrine have all been briefed about this." Abby says, "And your guards will follow you wherever you choose to go."

"What did my team decide?"

"They're waiting for you out there, aren't they?" Abby sighs.

"Who's on the team going out to scout the nuclear power plants?" Clarke paces around the small room.

"Only our most trusted chemists and engineers." Abby smiles. "Lexa placed the blockade to contain the panic and we've been instructed to maintain the same kind of discrepancy."

"Raven?"  
Abby nods.  
"Monty?"

"Yes. And a handful of others. They leave under the guise of a mapping update."

"Does Bellamy know?"

"Among all the Ambassadors, only Sankru and Skaikru know."

"Then everything must go according to plan." Clarke nods, saying the words just to convince herself.


	16. Ambassador No More 5

AMBASSADOR NO MORE

Chapter 5

Stillness

Sangedakru is a clan of shade. Everywhere the people are clamoring for shade and cool winds but of course, the desert sun is unrelenting. Cloth tarps are raised on sticks and the people cover themselves from head to toe if only to protect themselves from the heat. The children run along the winding paths of sand bear foot, their skin growing strong against the tough grain and high temperatures. They run through stores and stables of horses. splash through the fountains and wells that litter the desert. "Quick! Heda has arrived!" One of the boys calls as he waves for his friends to run even faster to the center of the clan. It is true, Heda had just arrived and little to the boys' knowledge, the Commander will order a blockade be set up around the perimeter of their home land. A crowd has formed around Lexa as she stands atop a small platform, surrounded by her guard. The boys jump behind the towering men and women to get a glance of the Commander but the crowd is thick and they are far too small to see her. "Do you see her?" Another boy asks, as they continue to shove and jump through the crowd, "Is Wanheda with her?"

"As your Commander, and with the support of Ambassador Dar of Sangedakru, I declare this clan be enclosed in a blockade for the foreseeable future." Her voice rings loud and clear across the protesting crowd and for a moment there is silence, for surely, the people of Sankru did not expect this harsh order to come so soon after the Heda's arrival. "I will be entertaining witnesses and debaters in my court in an organized fashion. All who present themselves to me will be treated with high regard and those who provide strong and clear arguments will be considered in my final decision. At the end of this blockade, either Sangedakru will remain under the protection of my Coalition, or _willingly_ and _peacefully_ detach themselves from my reign. We will settle this matter without bloodshed. But be warned, violators of the order of the blockade and persons who further mean to cause distress and panic across my lands will be executed without mercy."

"Raja!" A voice prickles through the air and one of the boys turns to find his smother thundering through the streets, her arms outstretched, clamoring for her son. "Get away from there, now!" Raja runs to his mother and she envelopes him in her arms. "I told you not to come looking for Heda." She pulls him away from the crowd and through the tents.

"Mama, I do not understand, who is she to imprison our new land?" Raja whispers, tripping over his own feet in an attempt to catch up to his mother.

"Shush, Raja, not out here." They arrive at their tent. Inside, his baby sister is wailing in the arms of their father. Mother takes the baby from him and she settles down as she is fed.

"Listen close, Raja, we are running away. Heda cannot protect us as we had thought." His father kneels before him, his large hands placed squarely on his small shoulders.

"Why Papa?"

"We need to leave Sangedakru. Help us pack, alright? Mama has to take care of Dyla." His father wraps a scarf around his head and Raja copies him. They pack their essentials in two sacks. They fill canteens with water and after a few minutes, they are ready to leave.

"Alright." Mother says as they stand before the door of their tent. "We need to move fast, the blockade is quickly closing. Raja you will stay with Papa and I will bring Dyla."

"Why do we have to be apart?!" Raja clings to his mother's arms.

"Raja, come." Papa pulls Raja into his arms. "We must not look like we are leaving. Stop crying we will see Mama and Dyla soon, don't worry."

"I want to stay."

"If we stay, we will never be able to tell the world of the terrors that are yet to come." Mother kisses Rajas forehead one last time before she hauls a sack over her shoulder before securing the baby on her chest.

"No! They will kill us!" Raja's mind is back with the crowd, Heda's warning resounding in his head. "Please, we need to stay."

His father covers his mouth and holds him tight. He pulls the tent door open to lead Malia out with Dyla. "I will see you on the other side."

"Protect him, Brent, his blood is our weapon."

* * *

Lexa paces in her tent. When the night has passed, she will be entertaining various witnesses in her court. Her mind is wrapped in thought. In times such as this, meditation helps her calm down. In her days of training her Commander used to tell her that her weakness is her anxiety, how it cripples her and how it makes her doubt her actions. She takes a deep breath and settles down at the foot of her bed. Though meditation is more powerful when done in her own room in Polis, Sangedakru would have to do. She closes her eyes, places her palms on her lap and began the process. Her mind began to empty, the noise around her began to fade away until her heartbeat was the only sound that remained in the room. All her weight left her body and before her, in her mind's eyes, the former commanders emerges. They stand before her, waiting for her to rise and when she does, they bow.

"Please, am I doing the right thing?" She asks, though she could hear herself, her mouth does not move.

"A blockade is necessary." They reply in unison. "We must know all the we can about this rumor."

"Commanders, I am afraid that it may not be a rumor." Lexa frowns. "Sangedakru is not a clan that easily falls prey to gossip. They are a people of high reason; one of the many justifications as to why only they can survive such weather climate."

"Then this meeting is about your plan of action and not whether you did the right thing." They smile. "Remember, it is crucial that you trust your own decisions if you expect your people to follow you."

Lexa bows her head in respect and acknowledgement. She takes a deep breath, further centering her mind into the Flame. "What should I do? Our people have no history of competing with an enemy such as this. How could we survive this?"

"Lexa," Pramheda's voice beckons louder than the others' "Skaikru _is_ your people. They will know what to do."

"Skaikru's place in my Coalition is but only blooming." Lexa frowns "The other clans have not warmed up to their voice. How can I expect the ground to follow the order of people who came from the sky? People who have hurt and killed their loved ones?"

"You need not expect it." Their voices ring loud in her ears, "You are Heda. Demand their compliance."

"Please" Lexa pleads, "That is no longer my way. No longer _our_ way. My Coalition hears all voices of all clans equally. I do not demand. I reason."

"Then let them see reason."

Lexa wakes in her tent. Beads of sweat have begun to trickle in rivulets down her temples and on to her collarbone. She rises and looks for her guard. She peals away the door of her tent and orders, "Bring me Ambassador Bellamy kom Skaikru."

* * *

"She's going to need a splint." Katrine says, bracing the arm of a six year old patient who fell from a cliff. She lightly presses over the injured area and the little girl whimpers. "Oh sweety, it's alright. Just a fracture, that's all! We'll have you up an about in a week or two."

"What the diagnosis, Katrine?" Clarke passes through her, carrying bandages, pills, and two cups of water.

"Hairline fracture on the radius." Katrine reports, still seated with her patient. "No surgery needed. Pain meds, and a splint will do."

"Good." Clarke smiles as she settles down with her own patient. "Teach her parents how to wrap the arm and how to bathe with it."

"Already did it, Doc!"

Their medical bay tent is nestled among the trees of Trikru. Though the edges of the clan's perimeter is not the ideal place, it was the place they were offered. Creating bonds and good ties with the ground will not be an easy feat but treating this patient's rash will be. Clarke pulls out her sketchbook to show her patient the different medicinal plants she has learned that the people of Trikru already uses. In her training, she found books of medicine and concocted her own mixtures of topical medication that will prove to be more effective.

"See this one?" Clarke points to one of her drawings. "I know you crush and mix it with gum sap for chewing but, if you mix it with this," Clarke mixes lemon juice in a cup. "And then layer it over the infected area instead of chewing on the gum, it should relieve the pain much quicker." Clarke mashes the leaves together and mixes in the gum with the juice. She gently presses a portion into his skin and he sighs in relief. "See? And it doesn't even have to be lemon, any citrus fruit should work. We just need the citric acid." She winks at him and continues to put the ointment over his arm. She offers the bowl to him, "Here why don't you try it yourself?" He takes the bowl and lathers his other arm with the ointment. "Thank you, Wanheda." He says.

The name sends shives through her skin, "Call me Clarke." She smiles and leaves his bed.

The tent is only at half capacity but having some willing patients to teach is more than what Clarke had expected. She attends to another patient.

"Good morning!" She smiles as she sits down beside him. "I'm Clarke, I'll be your doctor for today."

"My name is Calvin." He smiles and presents his shoulder to her. There is a deep laceration but he managed to use vines, wrapped around his arm and across his chest to close the gash. Over the wound is multiple layers of leaves that apply pressure.

"Wow." Clarke exhales her hands hovering over the massive cut and it's genius contraption. "Why haven't my other doctors treated you? I'm so sorry we had you waiting."

"No, it is alright. I did not show them because I wanted to wait for you." Calvin says, laying back down on the bed.

"For me?" Clarke asks. She begins to cut through the vines and peal away the layers of leaves to reveal the wound. It's much larger than she had thought, and much deeper.

"I wanted to meet the great love of Heda."

"Please don't tell me you got this just to meet me?" Clarke tried to laugh.

"No." Calvin laughs. "A tragic accident with a wild bull. I should have known it was aggressive."

"Oh." Clarke frowns. She presses sterile gauze into the wound as she reaches for antiseptic. "Do you hunt?"

"I am a hunter in our village." He smiles proudly. "Something I have been training for ever since I was young. But of course, there is always much to learn, yes?"

"Yes." Clarke smiles. She braces him for multiple injections of numbing before beginning to stitch the wound closed. With precise movements she began to insert the needle through the edges of the wound.

"I knew her." Calvin says in a low voice.

"Who?" Clarke asks, her eyes focused on her work, trying her best to leave as little scarring as she could.

"Heda Lexa kom Trikru." Calvin replied. At the sound of her name, Clarke paused only briefly to look him in the eyes, searching for any signs of malice or even complete folly. He looks back at her, blue eyes meeting each other, and for a moment, Clarke is convinced.

"Really?" She shakes her emotions away and began another stitch.

"We grew up together." Calvin smiles, almost as though he were recalling some memory from a life long ago. "Well, for the short time she lived here of course."

"What was she like?"

"Playful." Calvin almost laughs. Clarke rests a warning arm over his to remind him to stay still. "She always liked to play rough, which is how we found out she was a Natblida in her early year of four."

"She was only four when she left for Polis?"

"Five by the time the scouts had arrived to take her." Calvin sighed.

"I hope her departure was meaningful." Clarke tries to place herself in the time of the past. Not in the Ark where she must have been a child herself but on the ground, a spectator, as a young and free Lexa frolicked around with this strange boy. For a while she is taken from the medical bay and into the longing that she too could have known Lexa in her youth.

"It was terrible." Calvin's voice jolts her back to her work. His wound is halfway stitched now, the bleeding has subsided significantly. "I was older than her by some years, perhaps her memory will not be as clear as mine. Her mother wailed and wailed. She did not stop crying for weeks. Of course, Heda herself did not see this, she was whisked away in her sleep, leaving her parents in grief. Here, when a child is born a Natblida, great honor is placed upon his parents but unbeknownst to the many is the tragic loss that the parents are truly served. To have a Natblida child is to give birth to death himself. Except of course if he wins the Conclave, but what are the chances of that?"

"I had never thought of the other side of all of this." Clarke sighs. "I had always been in Polis seeing the Natblidas training hard and happily coming home with their Commander." She shakes her head. Those children had their own families. Somewhere, as the grounders all rejoiced at the announcement of a new Natblida, a family has lost a child. She finishes the final stitch and sets her instruments down.

"Thank you, Clarke kom Skaikru. It is an honor to be healed by the same hands that has cared for our Commander." Calvin props himself up to a sitting position. Clarke dresses the wound neatly and gives him some instructions on how to clean it. Deep wounds such as this are most efficiently and safely treated with clean sutures. This is why among the few supplies that she will leave behind in Trikru are sterile needles and thread with instructions on how to use them.

"Calvin," Clarke begins slowly. "Can we see each other again? I want to know more about your time with her. It's okay if you're too busy, I know you have a lot of responsibilities. I was just wondering."

"It would be my pleasure." Calvin extends a hand and Clarke takes it. "I will see you tomorrow night?"

"Sure." Clarke smiles. "You know where to find me."

When the day has ended and Stella, Ronen, and Katrine have all packed up the medical bay, Clarke lay in her small tent waiting for sleep to come. I was a long day of teaching and healing but this has been the mission she was prepared to do. When the moon has risen high and still she lay there, it was apparent that sleep was not coming. Her mind was wrapped around the thoughts of Calvin and his story. How he seemed to entice her with his stories of Lexa and though a small part of her doubted him, Clarke knew that it was highly likely that he was being honest. She gets on her knees and began to search through her backpack. She brings out a sheet of parchment and a pen. Though it has been months since she has written to Lexa, what with her studies and Lexa's responsibilities, Clarke found herself melting into the letter, longing not for a response from the Commander of thirteen Clans, but a simple medium for release.

 _Lexa,_

 _I know it has been months since we talked and wrote to each other. I know you understand. I understand too. There are so many things going on. My mother has told me the truth. You are in Sangedakru. I hope that in the chaos of surviving, you still find time to light a candle and rest. I don't know how you do it. From ALIE to this. There seems to be no rest for the Commander. I wonder now if there really is such a thing as a stillness before the storm comes. Maybe we were too happy to notice._

 _I'm in your home village right now. Trikru is beautiful. It's night time here and I can hear all the owls singing and the crickets ringing. I now understand why there are some nights you lay awake, unable to sleep. It is too quiet in Polis, no song of nature or lullaby of the wind blowing through the night sky. I met someone today. Calvin. He was a patient in my medical bay. I wonder if you still remember him. He told me he knew you when you were children. Listening to his stories of your childhood made me sad. I know now the immense sacrifice and loss you have suffered to serve the people as Commander. I miss you, Lexa. I miss you everyday I'm out here. I want nothing more but to come home to you but I know we both have greater purposes here. Sometimes what we want in life needs to take a step back so we are able to do what we were born to do. Thank you for teaching me that._

 _Should you need any advice about these issues you are contending with, know that at your word, I will drop everything to be by your side. I love you._

 _-Clarke._

She rolls the parchment in a tight coil and ties a piece of twine to secure it. In the morning, she will ask Kai to send it to the scouts. As she lays back down, the letter still clutched in her hand, sleep finally greets her.

* * *

"We need to evacuate!" Bellamy paces in the Commander's tent. "Now, Commander."

"Where will we go?" Lexa sighs, sinking in her throne. For hours now, she and the Ambassador have been discussing probabilities of the threat's validity and what necessary actions they must take to survive. "How will I take thousands of our people to safety when there is no way to run from this?"

Bellamy shakes his head, biting the inside of his cheek to keep himself from revealing the truth about what he and his team had found just minutes before he was summoned to become Skaikru's Ambassador. Deep into the woods, almost close to the edges of the mountains, are series of underground bunkers, possibly strong enough to keep a number of people alive. It could possibly be remnants of the quarantine establishments of the late Mountain Men but one thing is for sure: only he and a handful of trusted Ark members know about it. Knowing the threat now, hearing the warnings from nomads and witnessing the distress of the Commander herself, the timing of their discovery could not be more perfect.

"Ambassador Bellamy?" Lexa's call brings Bellamy back into the present.

"Give me time to think things through." He says, not meeting Lexa's eyes. "If you would allow me, I would ride back to Arkadia now to brainstorm with our scientists and leaders as to how best to contend with this."

"And how will I make sure that you are not running away from this position?" Lexa raises an eyebrow. Certainly, his place in the Coalition has always been murky, filled with the pooling blood of the victims of his rage. The Commander is not one to forget such grave sins.

"If I'm not back in three days time, hunt me down." Bellamy says proudly. But of course, he has no intentions of being found. The moment he reaches the Ark, his orders to flee will resound through the camp and in a matter of hours, a day at most, his people will be safely hidden in the underground bunkers.


End file.
